DivineTrial
DivineTrial is a video Chris uploaded on 30 October 2010. In this video, Chris wears his plush breasts and puts on some facepaint, then misunderstands, but absolutely lives up to, the term "kangaroo court". It appears to be the execution of Clyde Cash which Chris promised us earlier, and is largely based on the cult film Pink Flamingos.
Video
| DivineTrial | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 30 October 2010 |
| Subject Matter |  Trolls,  Violence
|
| Performance Style |  Crazy
|
| Saga |  Clyde Cash
|
| Shirt |  Vertical Red
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous DrainedCreativity |
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Transcript
[Chris stands in front of the camera wearing clown makeup, his shirt stuffed with his plush breasts and a red sheet of construction paper covering his crotch.]
Hello, folks, and darlings, this is Divine [unintelligible] y'know... We are going to go on a trial now fo- to go against... our culprit, he- Mr. Clyde Cash... Say hi to the audience, Clyde.
[Chris holds up a Shadow the Hedgehog doll which is supposed to represent Clyde.]
Clyde: *mumbling noises*
Ay, ain't got much to say, huh? Well, that's a shame. Clyde, now, you spoke to me on live Internet before the trial here was started.
Clyde: *mumbling noises*
He stands accused of... being a troll, a bully, and especially doing all these things against one Christian Weston Chandler and his Sonichu and Rosechu family... We bring in a witness here today... a which we will put that against Mr. Clyde Cash here... He's a witness- oh- s- Sonichu, I mean the original one...
[Chris holds up a Pikachu doll, modified to resemeble Sonichu.]
All right, Sonichu... do you swear to speak the whole truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth... so help you God?
Sonichu: I do.
Aight, then will you please... point out the guilty part of this room that has... done all the trollings and dwollings and all that... and even personal... threatening and what not against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler?
Sonichu: Yes, Divine. He's right over there! Mr. Clyde Cash!
Thank you, that'll be all, you c- may step down from the witness stand... Aight, then we- when I have order in the court, order in the court! I have reviewed all the case files and what not... and in this kangaroo court justice... I hearby... pronounce sentence to Mr. Clyde Cash... he is gulity of all charges! And then- and... on the lawsuit here... for his punishment... he will be shocked to death... and his wi- and his wife and one-cent daughter... will go to a better husband... outside of his family... one will be provided for her by law... somebody within her local reach, but not within the state of Virginia.
But anyway, the punishment is death for Mr. Clyde Cash... For doing so many wrongs against Mr. Christian Weston Chandler... Case dismissed! [Bangs the table with his coffee cup again]
Are you ready for your execution, Mr. Clyde Cash?
Clyde: *mumbling noises*
Well, at least my face ain't fucking orange! Buh-bye.
[Chris pulls out his Megatron pistol and shoots Clyde, despite him being sentenced to electrocution.]
And that was another fine episode of Divine's people court. You all enjoy- you all have yourselves a good day... and remember, Divine is... the filthiest, dirtiest person in the world... Even though I've temporarily dyed my hair brown... It's usually blonde.
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