Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
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[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | [[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | ||
It's a | It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with [[Son-Chu|junked cars]], and where the human disasters we know as the [[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]] can exist relatively unnoticed. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver [[Tobacky|Phillip Morris]]. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave [[Chris's room|his room]], let alone get a [[job]]. | ||
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days. | Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days. | ||
Revision as of 19:07, 13 March 2016
| “ | Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer. | ” |
| Ruckersville's most famous citizen.[1] | ||
Ruckersville, Virginia is the home of Christian Weston Chandler and the capital of all things Sonichu-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return in 2000.
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| Location: | Ruckersville, VA |
| Coordinates: | 38°13′59″ N, 78°22′09″ W |
| Classification: | Census-designated place |
| Established: | 1732 |
| Population: | 1,141 (2011) |
| ZIP code: | 22968 |
| Area code: | 434 |
| Website: | Unavailable |
The Brochure
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of Charlottesville, VA. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire.
The Truth
It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. A place where people hoard their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, and where the human disasters we know as the Chandlers can exist relatively unnoticed. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his high school days.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain; composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away.
The township is also far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from Washington, D.C., 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville and 77 miles (123 km) from Richmond.
Crime
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to commit his various misdemeanors, and likely so are any other criminals living here.
Culture
Ground Zero
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a Google Street View of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care.
Gallery
Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red icon.
A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. Wow!
And no cookie cutter suburb is complete without replaceable block-letter church signs! (No relation to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church).
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
