Homemade Nintendo Power magazine

The cover. It looks like Chris urinated on the paper before drawing the illustrations.

Chris had the great idea to make his own Nintendo Power magazine when he was sixteen years old. The result was something that would only be moderately impressive if done by an elementary school child in art class. The magazine is showcased by Chris on his DVD. The issue doesn't contain much other than (you guessed it) shitty drawings of his shitty ideas for video games. This relic is first shown to the world in the Song of Christian. He also includes his craptastic creation, Bionic in this issue of failure. The piece of work reflects on Chris's distorted view of how video game companies would be willing to make video games on obsolete gaming systems and giving up their intellectual property over to another company just to make a fucktard happy. Even though this example of Chris's fail was created over a decade ago, he still flaunts it about as one of his greatest artistic achievements. Sadly, this probably WAS one of his greatest artistic achievements.

Chris-chan's creative sterility is on full display here. He slavishly imitates a commercial product using the limited tools available to him: he creates fake letters, copied game sales charts (that he obviously sped through, but knew he had to create), previews for pretend games, imitation strategy guides, and recycled cheat codes. He even mocks up godawful Sonichu ads.

Even the horrible video game ideas are shamelessly recycled; for instance, Sonic 64 is exactly like Super Mario 64, the Sonic SNES collection is just like Super Mario All-Stars. In the Song of Christian video, Chris reveals that the Megaman X game he describes is, in fact, a proposed sequel that recycles enemies from previous Megaman and Megaman X games, which is an outstanding satire of Capcom's... fffhahaha just kidding, Chris is even less creative than we thought. Chris claims the Transformers: Beast Wars game in the magazine is his own idea, but this was an actual video game made for the N64 and Playstation.

TL;DR: Even when given literally unlimited creative control over his little fake Nintendo Power, Chris can only repeat what he's seen, only mixed up very slightly.

While Sonic "dumping" Sega to be on a Nintendo console seems eerily prescient, rest assured it's just a huge coincidence nobody back in 1998 would've seen coming true. Still, imagine how CWC must've sperged over Sega shitting itself and dying, consigned to releasing terrible, terrible 3D Sonic games on, among other things, Nintendo consoles. Like the cargo cults of the South Pacific, Chris's homemade Nintendo Power prediction coming kinda-sorta true likely spurned on his quest to see Sonichu somehow made into a video game and place extra credence in his dreams associated with his love quest. Of course, the reason Chris predicted this is because of his massive understanding about how the videogame business actually works, not because of any oracular prowess.

Transcript

Presented here are the contents of the magazine in text format for your enjoyment. Spelling errors and miscellaneous stupidity herein belong to Chris.

Cover

Sonic dumps Sega and joins Nintendo!

Sonic the Hedgehog

Comes to Game Boy, Super Nintendo, and Nintendo 64. Sonic Tails, his friends and enemies, all dump Sega and join the Nintendo family. So, get your Game Boy, SNES, and N64, and join the way past cool fun.

Contents

Volume ____

Strategy

• Sonic64
• Sonic & Knuckles
• Super Sonic
• Beast Wars
• Mega Man X 64

Special Features

• Sonic's History

Every Issue

• Player's Pulse
• Power Charts
• Classified Info.
• Counselor's Corner
• Player's Poll Con.
• Arena
• Now Playing
• Gamelist
• Next Issue

Player's Pulse

Sonic is welcomed into Nintendo family in this month's issue, and if the readers say we are joking, well guess what, we aren't. This Month, gamers just want to tell their Nintendo stories. So, it might get a little silly.

(Caption:) Christian Chandler, Richmond, Virgina

Sonic Start
How we got started with the Sonic business, you may ask. Well, you'll have to give most of the credit to Christian Chandler of Richmond, VA. In the beginning, he sent us a letter saying that he had a dream about Sonic on Game Boy, it was a Game Boy version of Sonic and Knuckles. At first we said that he had, "Rocks in his head," but we were completely wrong. Recently, he sent us a copy of a Nintendo Power magazine he made himself. As we looked through it, we thought, "This boy is very creative," and, "he is also determined to make his dream come true." So, we decided to shake hands with Sega, and make this boy's dreams come true. We started off by actually making Sonic 64 for N64, Sonic & Knuckles 2 for Game boy, and Super Sonic for SNES. Then, we sent him a letter letting him know that his dream will come true, and he may come down to Nintendo of America, here in Redwood, WA, to watch the development of his dream coming true. And that he will get a free copy of each Sonic title for each system. Then, We made this magizine, using his home made cover, under his permission. And that's how we got started with the Sonic business.

(Caption:) Christian Chandler, Richmond, Virgina

Cruis'n no more
I just got Cruis'n USA for N64. And I got all of my cars, including the Police car, School Bus, and Jeep, up graded. I tried to upgrade my Italia some more, but it didn't get a higher speed. What I'd like to know is, why?

John Taylor Via the internet

John, the reason you can't get a higher speed on your Italia is, because that's the only top maximum speed.

(Caption:) Ted Qujmby, Angel Grove, California

Power Charts

(Chris obviously did this section quickly and only wrote squiggles for the company names.)

Game	Company
1. Yoshi's Story	~ ~ ~ ~
2. Mario Kart 64	~ ~ ~ ~
3. Star Fox 64	~ ~ ~ ~
4. Super Mario 64	~ ~ ~ ~
5. Goldeneye 007	~ ~ ~ ~
6. Diddy Kong Racing	~ ~ ~ ~
7. Diddy Kong Racing	~ ~ ~ ~
8. Mischief Makers	~ ~ ~ ~
9. Cruis'n USA	~ ~ ~ ~
10. WCW vs. NWO	~ ~ ~ ~
1. Legend of Zelda	~ ~ ~ ~
2. Tetris	~ ~ ~ ~
3. Game & Watch Gallary [sic]	~ ~ ~ ~
4. Wave Race	~ ~ ~ ~
5. Donkey Kong Land 3	~ ~ ~ ~

Most Wanted
1. Zelda 64
2. N64 D.D.
3. Goldeneye 007
4. Yoshi's Story
5. Super Mario 64 2 (?)
6. Mission Impossible
7. Super Mario RPG 2
8. WCW vs. NWO: World Tour
9. Earthbound 64
10. Cruis'n World

Letters, continued...

Banjo Kazooie fans
I have been waiting a long time for Banjo Kazooie for N64. I have played as him on Diddy Kong Racing, and He's my favorite character. Now that he's finally going to get his own game, I can't wait. Zach de Brown, Columbia, OH I have Diddy Kong Racing for N64, and my favorite character is Banjo. You may think that he is one of the slowest drivers in DKR, but I was able to make the fastest times in all tracks playing as that cool bear. Besides, my name rhymes with his name, and I think that is cool. Manjo Maurice Newport News, VA

Sonic the Hedgehog Trio

After 100 issues, Sonic and his friends and enemies, comes to the N64, SNES, and Game Boy. We'll tell you about the 3 games, and then we'll take a trip through time and look through Sonic's history. For now, here's...

Sonic the Hedgehog 64

Robotnik is at it again; this time, he kidnapped Princess Sally and stole the power of the Chaos Emeralds from her castle, and roboticised the life in the castle. Sonic warps to the castle through a warp ring, so he can save the princess. What follows is tough; with 15 worlds and many secret special stages. He must collect the emeralds of the castle and destroy Dr. Robotnik. He will also have to destroy robots, big and small, fly with Tails, climb with Knuckles, and slam it with his big brother, Bionic.

Spin Dash. Dash through enemies by holding down and pressing the A button to slice an enemy in half for a ring.

Pound that Bot. You can use this technique to smash bots and computers. While in the air, press the Z button to pound the ground.

Swim. Stroke and kick in the water instead of walking in it, but make sure you come to the surface or get an air bubble, for air before the power meter runs out.

Punch. To punch a bot, press the B button, and he'll jump back, crash and release a ring for you.

(... Of course, being the amazing designer that he is, Chris forgot one important detail... a fucking jump button.)

Sonic's... friends that help. Sonic has friends that help him on his quest to save the Princess.

Tails: He'll fly you anywhere you want. Press and hold B to grab and hold his hand, so he can fly you to great heights.

Knuckles: Knuckles the Echidna can help Sonic up walls and through walls. Grab the empty end of his Ring Cord, and he'll help you up a wall. Punch the spot you want him to punch, and he'll punch it open like an egg.

Bionic: Bionic is Sonic's big brother. He is the greatest Basketball player, and he is a great mechanic. If Sonic needs to pull a high switch, Bionic can slam it down. Jump at it to show where it is, and he'll get it. He'll also shut down big machines for Sonic.

How Sonic's friends can help.

Knuckles climbs walls and mountains.

Tails flies you anywhere.

Bionic shuts down big machines and slams a big switch.

Sonic & Knuckles 2

Robotnik again?!!! Well, he'll have to get through Sonic and Knuckles to the famous, original Gensis game.

Like the original game, you can play as Sonic or Knuckles, but you still got to destroy Robotnik.

Thank to the battery-save option, your game can be saved in a file, or you can delete a file and do it all over again. Or, you can play a no-save game for more fun.

Underwater zones are tough, but luckily there are many air bubbles to use.

When you play as Knuckles the Echidna, you can climb walls, glide, and punch bots out.

You can obtain a chaos emeraldby turning all blank balls into wavy-lined balls. But, if you get a wavy-lined ball, the special stage will end early. You can access the special stages by finding the hidden giant rings and entering them.

Super Sonic

Now, here's the final Sonic game for this section. It's the SNES game, Super Sonic. In this game, we took a few of the original genesis games, Sonic 1, 2, 3 and Sonic and Knuckles, and programmed them in one SNES game cartridge.

Like the classic SNES game, Super Mario All Stars, you can pick a game, any game, and play that game.

To get you started off right, all you have to do is press start when the "Super Sonic" title comes up. Then, you pick the game you want to play, press start, and you're off on a cool adventure.

Tip: in the Marble Zone, in Sonic 1, watch for the fire, it'll really burn you up.

In the beginning of Sonic 3, the story sequence will show that Sonic just finished Sonic 2, and collected all the Chaos Emeralds. But, trouble comes along when Knuckles steals all the chaos emeralds from Sonic, and has hidden them in the special stages.

Sonic the Hedgehog

In Sonic the Hedgehog 1, you would get the fun of the original Genesis game. Except, the game is more colorful and savable. The special stages are now way past cooler.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

In Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Miles/Tails joins the Super Sonic fun. This game has more loop-de-loops, power sneakers, and the mazes are more mysterious. And, with the spin dash, corkscrew runs, and pinball-like fun, which makes this game way past cooler.

Sonic the Hedgehog 3

In Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Sonic and Tails fly to a floating island. But, they were out of luck when Knuckles the Echidna joins Dr. Robotnik in destroying Sonic the Hedgehog. In the beginning, Knuckles steals the chaos emeralds from Sonic. But, thanks to the 3-D special stages, Sonic can get the chaos emeralds back, but it's up to you to determine if Sonic wins or not.

Sonic & Knuckles

In Sonic & Knuckles, Knuckles switches sides in Sonic's favor, because Knuckles has found out that Robotnik wanted the giant chaos emerald that powers up the floating island. So, now it's up to you to hep Sonic and Knuckles get the emerald back.

Transformers Beast Wars Fighters

The Beast Wars has just gone into the 64-bit world. All the Maximals and Predicons are in your control to fight one-another. You would be able to play up to 4 players in VS. mode, and fight each other. We will give the controls of the game, and the control combinations for each fighter.

C-Up: changes for fighter's mode (robot-beast, beast to robot, (all fighters) beast-vehicle, vechile-robot (transmetalic robots only)).

R button: makes your fighter fly (certain robots only) [added in pen:] jumps

C- Right: changes fighting view to the right.

L button: makes your fighter attack in vehicle mode (transmetalic robots only)

C-Left: changes fighting view to the left.

C-Down: makes your fighter, in beast mode, attack.

B button: uses your fighter's weapon.

A button: throw punches.

Start: pauses game, and brings option screen up.

Z button: makes a kick.

Control Stick: moves your robot around in all directions.

Rumble Pak compatible.

Optimus Primal
Status:
Height: 6'0"
Type: Transmetal
Vehicle: Hoverboard
Maxinmal Weapon: Plasma Gun

Control Combinations:
A+B=Backpack tank
Vehicle Mode attack: Hoverboard kick

Cheetor
Status:
Height: 5'8"
Type: Transmetal
Vehicle: Wing Jets
Maximal Weapon: Whip Sword

Control Combinations:
A+C-Down=Plasma Cannon
Vehicle Mode attack: Jet cannons

Rattrap
Status:
Height: 5'7"
Type: Transmetal
Vehicle: Hot Rod
Maximal Weapon: Tail Whip

Control Combinations:
A+L=Wheel Shield
Vehicle Mode attack: Tail Stab

Silverbolt
Status:
Height: 5'9"
Type: Fuzor
Vehicle: none
Maximal Weapon: Wing Missles

Control Combinations:
A+R+Z=Pick up and kick
Beast Mode attack: Wing Missles

Dinobot
Status:
Height: 5'9"
Type: Regular
Vehicle: none
Maximal Weapon: Sword

Control Combinations:
B+C-Down=Eye lasers
Beast Mode attack: Tail Whip

Megatron
Status:
Height: 6'0"
Type: Transmetal
Vehicle: Hover Jets
Predicon Weapon: Tail Zapper

Control Combinations:
A+B=Tail whip
Beast Mode attack: Ramming Speed

Tarantulas
Status:
Height: 5'9"
Type: Transmetal
Vehicle: Motorcycle
Predicon Weapon: Sharp Zapper

Control Combinations:
A+C-Down=Leg Zappers
Vehicle Mode attack: Stinger Zapper

Waspinator
Status:
Height: 5'7"
Type: Regular
Vehicle: none
Predicon Weapon: Stinger Missles

Control Combinations:
C-Up+Z=Drop Kick
Beast Mode attack: Stinger Missles

Quickstrike
Status:
Height: 5'6"
Type: Fuzor
Vehicle: none
Predicon Weapon: Cobra Laser

Control Combinations:
A+C-down=Scorpion-Leg grab
Beast Mode attack: Cobra-Head Strike

Inferno
Status:
Height: 6'0"
Type: Regular
Vehicle: none
Predicon Weapon: Flame Rifle

Control Combinations:
R+Z=Jet Shots
Beast Mode attack: Pounce

Mega Man X 64

After all this time, Mega Man X is back, and on the Nintendo 64. Sigma has captured Zero, and he won't give him back. So, X must rescue Zero from Sigma in the 2 1/2-D/ 3-D battle. In this game, there are a lot of Robot Bosses, old and new, to fight before he can reach Sigma.

SIGMA: Back from the s crap heap!
Sigma was destroyed back in Mega Man X2, but, thanks to the original evil's song, Dr. Wiley Jr., Sigma is back on-line, and read for revenge on Mega Man X.
Zero, Captured?!!!
Zero did not know about it, until the last minute.
Revived Armor.
X's oritinal Armor, Helmit, and Speed boots are revived in this game, but they are scattered in 3 capsauls, and it 3 different stages.

STORM EAGLE
TORNADO Power!
Storm Eagle attack by swooping down one side and then the other. Just get out of the way when he swoops, and quickly turn and fire when he's at your level.
- 1 Aero Power!
There is an E-tancK in the airplane, and to get it is fairly easy. Just charge up your X-Buster, and destroy both Jet Engines. Your prize awaits in the pilot's cockpit.
- 2 Helmet Power
X's helmit is behind some gas tanks. All you have to do is shoot through them to get the helmit. The helmit allows X to break through bricks and various other structures above X. And it also allows X to resist more head damages from above.

SNAKE MAN
ReRattled Snake!
Snake Man shoots out snakes that explode after a few seconds. Just avoid the snakes, and shoot the sneaky Snake Man.
- 1 Blast 4 Dash
X's Dash Boots are in this "Snakey" stage. All you have to do is blast through some rocks, and you'll be able to get your boots.

WHEEL GATOR
ROLL OUT!
Wheel gator will throw his spin wheels at you, and try to jump on to you. Climb the wall, to dodge them, jump over the wheels and shoot him, and he's history.

Neon Tiger
TIGERBOT!
Jump high to avoid Neon Tiger's electro-bullets. Defeat the beast with you X-Boster. Slashing viciously with his super-charged claws, the Neon Tiger certainly does not fight fair.

GRAVITY BEETLE
BIG BAD BEETLEBOT!
Squish Gravity Beetle with the help of you Ray Splasher, which you got by beating Neon Tiger. Take evasive action when the beetle starts to bug you.
- 1 KICKIN' FOR THE ARMOR
Don't miss the bricks to kick, while gooing down the shaft. Kick the bricks to get the armor.

BUBBLE CRAB
CRABBY CRAB!
To defeat this Crab, just fire the Spin Wheels at him. Spin Wheels do the most damage to Bubble Crab. Your goal should be to deep Bubble Crab as far away from you as you can. Let the Spin Wheels word their destructive magic on the mechanical crustacean while you stank back and prepare for your next shot.

SHADOW MAN
SHADOW BOXING!
The best way to quiet Shadow Man is with the Storm Tornado. Just avoid Shadow Man's Blades and hit him with the Storm Tornado.

Chill Penguin
- 1 MEGA BUSTER POWER!
After X gets the Mega Buster power, X can power-up any special weapon he has, as well as shoot two powerful Mega Buster shots in a row.

BALL-POINT PENGUIN!
Chill Penguin can't fly, but he is fairly fast, especially when he launches himself at you! It's best to stay back, charge up the Mega Buster, and let him have it.

SIGMA'S REMATCH
ROBOTIS DOG'S RETURN!
You my recall Sigma's dog from Mega Man X1 fro SNES, Sigma's pet was able to pounce around, and spit fire. Now, in this Nintendo 64 game, this dog can transform into a jet, spit more fire, and jumps farther in his 360 degree battle arena. This would be a good time for the Shotgun Ice you got from Chill Penguin.
WILEY JR.'s MONKEY!
Bad, old Dr. Wiley had a son, and that boy has revived Sigma, and wishes to destroy Mega Man X too. So, he built King Robong, a giant Robot Gorilla that will destroy X. The thing that will destroy this ape would be a dozen Shadow Blade shots, and good maneuver ability.
SIGMA'S RETURN!
A long time ago, in the 2-D world, Sigma made it tough for X to destoy him, by wire framing himself. But X sent him to the scrap heap anyway. But, Dr. Wiley Jr. has rebuilt and reprogrammed Sigma with more power, weapons, and transformation capabilities. Can X destroy this monster? Only you can figure it out.

Classified Information

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
Level Select & Sound Test Code
Since this issue has Sonic the Hedgehog was the main topic, we thought we would add a few Sonic codes. Starting with the well-known code for Sonic 1, this code is for the Level Select and Sound Test options.

At the title screen, quickly press Up, Down, Left, Right, hold A, and press Start.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2
Level Select, and Chaos Emeralds Code
to get the Level Select option, go to the option menu, select the Sound Test, and play these tunes in this order: 19, 65, 9, and 17. You should hear a chime at the beginning of tune 17. Now, go back to the title screen, hold A, and press Start. Now you can select any level you wish to start on.

To get Super Sonic instantly, you must have done the Level Select code, and be on the Level Select screen. Select the Sound Test option and play these tunes in this order: 4, 1, 2, and 6. Now, select the level you want to start on, hold A, and press Start. Now, collect 50 rings, or more, then jump in the air, and Sonic will transform into Super Sonic.

MARIO KART 64
Rocket Jump and Mushroom Castle
At the start of a race, press the accelerator just before the blue light comes on. You'll get a rocket powered kick in the Kart! If you hop just before you hit the Kart in front of you, you'll bounce wheels over heels past the other Karts and into 1st place!

If you want to take a short break along the Royal Raceway, follow the path between the hills on the right just past the big jump. You can take a leisurely tour of the Mushroom Castle grounds, the site of the awards ceremony at the end of the game! Of course, you'll lose a lot of time, so don't do this if you want to win the race

(A drawing so bad I can't tell what's going on)
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a Rocket Boosted Kart!
(A drawing of Bowser on his kart)
This will look very familiar to Super Mario 64 fans.

SANFRANCISCO RUSH EXTREME RACING
Rush on the Rock
Here's a multistep code for San Francisco Rush that will open up a hidden track on the island of Alcatraz, otherwise known as The Rock. When entering directional commands, you may use either the Control Pad or the Control Stick. You'll need the F1 car for this code. If you don't have it, first win any Circuit on Medium difficulty. From then on, if you use the same player, you can go to the Track Select screen and press Z 4 times to activate the F1 car. Now for the Alcatraz code. Complete a Circuit with the F1 car and watch the entire end cinema scene. Now enter the One Race mode and go to the Car Select screen. Hold left C and press Z. Release both buttons, then press Left. Press B several times to go back to the main menu. Now access the Setup screen. Hold top C and press Z. Release both buttons, then press Up.
Go back out to the main menu. Reenter the One Race mode and go to the Track Select screen. Hold right C and press Z. release both buttons, then press Right. Select and track you wish. Now go to the Car select screen. Hold bottom C and press Z. Release both buttons then press Down, L and R. If you enter the code correctly, you'll hear a trumpeting sound. Go back to the Track Select screen and scroll through the tracks to find Alcatraz.

(a terrible drawing of an F1 race car)
You must have the F1 car for this code to work.

(crappy drawing of a F1 car on an 8-ball)
Take a ride on The Rock and bring home the trophy!

BANJO-KAZOOIE
BOTTLE-BONUSES
To get these codes to work, you must complete a series of puzzles by entering Banjo's house, standing on the green rug, and looking (Up C to zoom in) at Bottles' picture twice. After completing each puzzle and receiving a code, enter it by using the Beak buster on the tiles in the Underwater Castle in Treasure Trove Cove. Puzzle codes are not saved, and must be re-earned each time the machine is turned on.

Earned by completing puzzles:
bottlesbonusone: big head Banjo
bottlesbonustwo: big hands Banjo
bottlesbonusthree: big head Kazooie
bottlesbonusfour: 'hot dog' Banjo - Banjo has a stretched-out body.
bottlesbonusfive: giant Banjo with a small head
bigbottlesbonus: giant Banjo and big head Kazooie
nobonus: returns Banjo-Kazooie to their normal form.

(a series of 3 drawings depicting Banjo turning into a washing maching)
Re-enter Banjo's houe, look at bottles' picture again to reveal one more puzzle and the code:

wishywashyBanjo: Turns Banjo into a washing machine

Note: You cannot play the puzzle games until you have found the Underwater Castle in Treasure Trove Cove

COVE CODES
You've been clamoring for more info. on Banjo-Kazooie, so this month we have a few newly-discovered codes. To use these codes, you must play up to Treasure Trove Cove without transforming at Mumbo's hut at all. Now collect the Jiggy in the Underwater Castle in Treasure Trove Cove. Enter the sand castle and use the Beak Buster to spell "CHEAT" on the floor tiles. Now spell any of the phrases below, leave out the spaces between words.
Unlimited Eggs:
BANJO BEGS FOR PLENTY OF EGGS.
Unlimited Red Feathers:
NOW YOU CAN FLY HIGH IN THE SKY.
99 Mumbo Tokens:
DON'T BE A DUMBO, GO SEE MUMBO.
Full Health:
AN ENERGY BAR TO GET YOU FAR.
Unlimited Air: GIVE THE BEAR LOTS OF AIR.
Extra Lives:
LOST OF GOES WITH MANY BANJOS.
Unlimited Gold Feathers:
A GOLDEN GLOW TO PROTECT BANJO.

(2 drawings so vague and terrible I can't even interpret them)
If you misspell anything exit the castle, then start from the work "CHEAT."

PokeMon
Charmander, Squirtle and BULBASAuR
Link you game to a friends with a Game Link.Then have your friend start a new game but don't save it.If you picked a Charmander have you friend pick a Bulbasaur then you catch a pidgey and a rattata then trade with your friend a pidgey for his/her bulbasaur. Then have him/her start another game.Have your friend pick a squirtle then trade your rattata for the squirtle.This is the only way to get all 3.

Note: In order to trade you must go to the cable club in a pokemon center.

The more powerful Pokéball
When you throw a pokeball at a wild pokemon, it acts like a mater ball, the greatest pokeball proven to catch any pokemon! For this to happen, you hit up on the control stick and b button togeter when right you throw the ball.

It takes a while to learn, but it works!

The more powerful Great Ball
If you have Great Balls, then you can use this cheat to always catch ANY pokemon but Chanseys, Snorlax, Zapdos, Articuno, Moltres, or Mew-Two. Once you hit the A Button, wait for the ball to hit the pokemon.Right as the ball hits the pokemon, push and hold UP AND B! The you should be Able to catch all the pokemon you want.

Nintendo Power
Classified Information
P.O. Box 97033
Redmond, WA 98073-9733

Porygon and Exp. Points, Oh, my!
I have a tip on how to get a Porygon, and tons of Exp. points for raising for Pok'emon and evolving them. When you find a TM16 (Pay Day), use it on a Pok'emon that is compattible to it (ex. Slowpoke). Don't put your "Paid" Pok'emon on top of your Pok'emon list, instead, put a Pok'emon that you want to raise the Level number of, or evolve it. Then, find a place filled with Pok'emon (ex. Seafoam Island), when encountered a wild Pok'emon, after your weak Pok'emon pops out, don't let it attack, instead twitch to your Paid Pok'emon, and use only its Pay Day attack. Keep repeating on other wild Pok'emon, until you have over 100,000 coins (if Paid Pok'emon runs out of PP for this attack, go to a Pok'emon Center, charge it up, and return to the Wild Pok'emon area you were in before). After you have acquired the high amt. of money, go to the Celedon arcade, spend all that money, until you have 9,999/6,500 game coins (9,999 for Red version, and 6,500 for Blue version). Then, go to the trade center next-door to arcade, trade your 9,999/6,500 game coins for a Porygon, and then celebreate; you've finally have your Porygon! This is greater than using the slot machines; it's easier than risking the loss of game coins in the slots, you would raise your Pok'emons' levels (and evolve them), and obtain a Porygon, Risk Free. I'm still working on obtaining the money, but I'll get that Porygon!

If you have an awesome trick, password, or code 4 out Classified Info files, drop us a line at the address to [drawn arrow pointing left]. 4 more cool codes, and tips, check out WWW.Nintendo.com.

Sonichu's Adventure

Zapping to the Extreme on Gamecube

Single Player Action

Rosechu

Black Sonichu (Blachu)

Wild

Bubbles

Angelica

Punchy

Magi-Chan

Level 1: Vs. Perfect Chaos

Level 2: Race to Love

Level 3: Mallistic Rush

Boss 1: Naitsirhc's Zapdos

2-Player Race

Chris-Chan Sonichu

Wes-Li Sonichu

Sarhamah Rosechu

Extras to Boot!

The Entire Issue

On 24 March 2009, PandaHalo released the Scrapbook of Fail. One of its previously unreleased and notable contents, the Hand-drawn Nintendo Power magazine, was among the first pages of the scrapbook and is being presented in its entirety here.

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  Is this a parody too, Chris?

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  Chris rips off Knuckles Chaotix, worst game ever.

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