Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
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{{Quote| Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer.|Ruckersville's most famous citizen<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>}} | {{Quote|Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any [[Sweethearts|young adults]] hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any [[Chris and english|better or nicer]].|Ruckersville's most famous citizen.<ref>[[Facebook]]</ref>}} | ||
'''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the | '''Ruckersville, Virginia''' is the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the capital of all things [[Sonichu]]-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the [[Richmond]] suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return in [[2000]]. | ||
{| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1" | {| class="wikitable collapsible collapsed" align="right" border="1" | ||
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==The Brochure== | ==The Brochure== | ||
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[ | Ruckersville, [[Virginia]] is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of [[Charlottesville, VA]]. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Chandler family|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]]. | ||
==The Truth== | ==The Truth== | ||
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the | [[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | ||
It's an inhuman cesspool of redneck-itude. A place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with [[Son-Chu|junked cars]], and where the human disasters we know as the "[[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]]" can live unprovoked. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver [[Tobacky|Phillip Morris]]. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave [[Chris's room|his room]], let alone get a [[Job|job]]. | |||
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days forever. | Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days, ''forever''. | ||
==Geography== | ==Geography== | ||
The geography of Ruckersville is plain | The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain; composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the [[A Hike|Blue Ridge Mountains]] are a short drive away. | ||
The township is also far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from [[Barack Obama|Washington, D.C.]], 16 miles (26 km) from [[Charlottesville]] and 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]]. | |||
==Crime== | ==Crime== | ||
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on | Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]]. | ||
==Culture== | ==Culture== | ||
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif| | [[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What's 'culture'?]] | ||
==Ground Zero== | ==Ground Zero== | ||
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care. | It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply [[Stress|did not care]]. | ||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
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<gallery> | <gallery> | ||
Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark. | Image:Ruckersville_Aerial_Map.jpg|Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark. | ||
Image:14 branchland court gmaps.png|A closeup view of where the magic happens | Image:14 branchland court gmaps.png|A closeup view of where the magic happens. | ||
Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW! | Image:Goin_to_Ruckersville.jpg|Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. ''WOW''! | ||
Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|No relations to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church. | Image:Ruckersville_Church.jpg|No relations to [[Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church]]. | ||
Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child. | Image:Story_of_Ruckersville.jpg|Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child. | ||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
Revision as of 07:33, 4 January 2015
| “ | Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer. | ” |
| Ruckersville's most famous citizen.[1] | ||
Ruckersville, Virginia is the home of Christian Weston Chandler and the capital of all things Sonichu-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return in 2000.
| |
| Location: | Ruckersville, VA |
| Coordinates: | 38°13′59″ N, 78°22′09″ W |
| Classification: | Census-designated place |
| Established: | 1732 |
| Population: | 1,141 (2011) |
| ZIP code: | 22968 |
| Area code: | 434 |
| Website: | Unavailable |
The Brochure
Ruckersville, Virginia is a small census-designated place on the outskirts of Charlottesville, VA. A scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views of mountains, trees and farmland. Although Ruckersville has a small population, it has a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion. Founded in 1732, the town has changed very little. The quiet, peaceful village of long ago is still the quiet, peaceful township of today. A safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire.
The Truth
It's an inhuman cesspool of redneck-itude. A place where people hoard their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, and where the human disasters we know as the "Chandlers" can live unprovoked. Given its tiny population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris. The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it gives him one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his high school days, forever.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain; composed mainly of fields, light forest, and small housing developments extending from the larger town of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away.
The township is also far from any real civilization: about 100 miles (160 km) from Washington, D.C., 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville and 77 miles (123 km) from Richmond.
Crime
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to commit his various misdemeanors.
Culture
Ground Zero
It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a Google Street View of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care.
Gallery
Aerial shot of the shithole that is Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red mark.
A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. WOW!
No relations to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
