Difference between revisions of "Cherokian Clan"
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==Seriously?== | ==Seriously?== | ||
Even though some observers have speculated that his parents told him he had Native blood in order to make him feel more special, Chris's claims of having distant Native American heritage are actually no different from similar claims made by a very large number of Americans who aren't autistic man-children. In particular, it is especially common for many white and [[Niggos|black]] people, and especially in the South, to specifically claim Cherokee heritage. How accurate all of those claims are is another matter. At least in some cases, it is more likely that the "Cherokee ancestor" is a cover for having a distant black ancestor (if the person claiming the ancestry is white) or white ancestry (if the person claiming it is black). | |||
In Chris's case, it needs to be noted that he also claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], whose only offspring, as Wikipedia reminds us, died a virgin (...so, in a spiritual sense, he might in fact be ''her'' descendant; however, she chose to be a virgin instead of going on a [[Love quest|fucktarded wild]] [[Fuck_quest|goose chase]]). And for someone who takes pride in his Cherokee ancestry, he is remarkably ignorant regarding actual Cherokees, who resemble Chris's Cherokees the way the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki resemble the American Godzilla remake. He depicts the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as white and blue-eyed, referring to Cherokee artifacts, customs, and people with the dubious demonym "Cherokian," and, oh, ''slathering them in '''solid gold''' Sonichu-themed jewelery and armor.'' You know, like so many Indians were known to wear. | In Chris's case, it needs to be noted that he also claims to be descended from [[Anne Boleyn]], whose only offspring, as Wikipedia reminds us, died a virgin (...so, in a spiritual sense, he might in fact be ''her'' descendant; however, she chose to be a virgin instead of going on a [[Love quest|fucktarded wild]] [[Fuck_quest|goose chase]]). And for someone who takes pride in his Cherokee ancestry, he is remarkably ignorant regarding actual Cherokees, who resemble Chris's Cherokees the way the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki resemble the American Godzilla remake. He depicts the [[Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan]] as white and blue-eyed, referring to Cherokee artifacts, customs, and people with the dubious demonym "Cherokian," and, oh, ''slathering them in '''solid gold''' Sonichu-themed jewelery and armor.'' You know, like so many Indians were known to wear. | ||
Revision as of 08:59, 18 October 2009
Chris claims to have at least one ancestor who is Cherokee. Thus, the Cherokian Clan is the tribe he believes this ancestor belongs to. The ancient exploits of the clan figure heavily into the mythology of the Sonichu comics.
The primary rival tribe of the Cherokian Clan was the Wasabi Clan, which Chris either made up or stole from Naruto.
Fictional history
Apparently living in what is now Virginia many centuries ago, the Cherokians possessed considerable mystical powers and skill for prophecy. The Cherokee leader, Christian's ancestor, wore a coveted Cherokian crown which somewhat resembled the ears of Sonichu, suggesting that there is more than meets the eye to Christian's creation.
The Cherokians and Wasabi fought frequently over both the crown and the Cherokian queen, whom the Wasabi leader wanted as his own. Despite this, the Cherokians and Wasabi joined forces to defeat and imprison their mutual enemy, Count Graduon.
Recognizing that Graduon could someday again threaten mankind, the Cherokians wrote the Anchuent Prophecy, describing the exact circumstances of Graduon's escape and the identity of the individuals who would summon the power to defeat him. The prophecy was locked away in the Destiny Cave somewhere near the future site of CWCville, Virginia, along with the Fireshock Pendant and Lightning Bracelets that would empower two of the three "electric creatures" fated to stop Graduon.
Seriously?
Even though some observers have speculated that his parents told him he had Native blood in order to make him feel more special, Chris's claims of having distant Native American heritage are actually no different from similar claims made by a very large number of Americans who aren't autistic man-children. In particular, it is especially common for many white and black people, and especially in the South, to specifically claim Cherokee heritage. How accurate all of those claims are is another matter. At least in some cases, it is more likely that the "Cherokee ancestor" is a cover for having a distant black ancestor (if the person claiming the ancestry is white) or white ancestry (if the person claiming it is black).
In Chris's case, it needs to be noted that he also claims to be descended from Anne Boleyn, whose only offspring, as Wikipedia reminds us, died a virgin (...so, in a spiritual sense, he might in fact be her descendant; however, she chose to be a virgin instead of going on a fucktarded wild goose chase). And for someone who takes pride in his Cherokee ancestry, he is remarkably ignorant regarding actual Cherokees, who resemble Chris's Cherokees the way the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki resemble the American Godzilla remake. He depicts the Ancient leader of the Cherokee Clan as white and blue-eyed, referring to Cherokee artifacts, customs, and people with the dubious demonym "Cherokian," and, oh, slathering them in solid gold Sonichu-themed jewelery and armor. You know, like so many Indians were known to wear.
If you're surprised at the sheer ignorance someone can be of pop culture to the point of not picking up on Indian clichés, pay more attention. Further, given his notorious disdain for education, he either forgot or didn't pay attention to lessons on actual Native American history or culture, which is taught in most American elementary/primary schools. And last, he's a colossal narcissist, and so may think that his Cherokee (or, ahem, "Cherokian") ancestors were blue-eyed white men decked in gold because he's a blue-eyed white guy who doesn't have a breastplate made of solid gold, but would appreciate one if it could get him chicks. Which, admittedly, would be much more effective than his old methods.
In his defense, recent events have shown that Chris takes his firewater about as well as the Indians did.