Take that Page DOWN NOW!
Take that Page DOWN NOW! (officially titled "Secret Weapon") is a YouTube video posted by Chris on 30 March 2009, in which he demands that his Encyclopedia Dramatica page be taken down. Later, Chris takes the video down, and updates a longer version, with added footage of him growling at the camera and making threats to Clyde Cash.
Description
| I have your photo; you will be turned in. |
Video
 |
WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage. |
| Take that Page DOWN NOW! | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 30 March 2009 |
| Subject Matter |  Violence
|
| Performance Style |  Rage,  Comedy
|
| Saga |  Clyde Cash  ED
|
| Shirt |  Brown with Logo
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora |
next Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut) |
Transcript
Just a major up-, just a small update. Well, I just wanted to, uh, ask a small favor. You know what would really inspire me to continue doing the comics? I tell you what--[removes glasses, grows more stern]--you take down that ED page forever. Take it down. It and al-, everything about it, including the, the discussion pages. Everything. Delete it.
[sighs] Because you don't, because that thing has been bothering me for so ma-, for that long time. And you know how the expression, "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" Well, call it, this was "too many crooks." Too many crooks! Too many crooks! And that ED page is one of those crooks. Every page, every word on the discussion page, is a crook.
Mmmm! It just makes me really [tries to flex nonexistent muscles] angry! Nnngh, nngh! Nnnngh! You know how it makes me angry? [reaches off-camera; after jump cut, picks up the Clown Doll with Clyde's picture taped to it] This is Clyde.
[jump cut to Chris holding doll in right hand and making fist with left] And this is how angry I am for every waking moment that that ED page is up. [punches doll so hard the paper comes off of it; he punches it some more, then reaches down to retrieve picture and rips it in half] NNNGH!
[looks into camera, sneering] You want me to calm down? [voice cracking] YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? You want me to draw the comics? YOU TAKE DOWN THAT ED PAGE! [picks up piece of picture, puts it back on doll] Or Clyde is...BAM! [resumes punching his clown]
Director's Cut
|
WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage. |
| Take that Page DOWN NOW! (Director's Cut) | |
| Search for video | YouTube, archive |
| Stardate | 30 March 2009 |
| Subject Matter | Violence
|
| Performance Style | Rage, Comedy
|
| Saga | Clyde Cash
|
| Shirt | Brown with Logo
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Take that Page DOWN NOW! |
next Secret Weapon |
Transcript (beginning at 1:51)
[jump cut, apparently later in the day; Chris is tensing is arms and either hulking up or trying to fart] EEENNNNRRRRGGHHHH!!!
[picks up doll again, tries to tear its head off, fails] EENNGH—GGH!
[begins beating it more savagely] NGH! NGH! [throws it to ground, reaches down to rape pound on it] NGH! NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH-NGH!
[pops back up to give a primal growl] ERRRNNNRGGGHH! URRRGH! RRRGH-HAAAGHH! EERGHHAAGHH!
[gives Claw of Fail as he stares off into space, talking like the Ultimate Warrior] CLYDE DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE DEAAAD! YOU ARE DEAD! [hiccups] YOU ARE DEAD! AND SO IS THAT PAGE! RRARRGGH--[hic]--RRRGGHH!! [snorts] EEEEENNRRRHHH! [begins smacking his fist into his palm]
[jump cut; Christian is speaking normally again]
Mmm! You despi-, you are so despicable, Clyde! I am going to BEAT your lights out! [performs Claw of Fail again]I am going to DRAG you right in front of EVERYONE if we ever meet in public! I am going SHOVE your ASS DOWN YOUR THROAT--[Ultimate Warrior voice]--AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR UNDERWEAR! NNNGHHGGGHH!
[jump cut; Chris steps back and slams his arm right into the PSEye, making it tumble]
NNNAGGHHHH!!!
Fan videos
| Chris Chan's Ultimate Attack | |
| Stardate | 31 March 2009 |
| Made By | Trowelhands |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
See also
| ⇐ Chris Sings Fart Song for Flora | Chris's videos | Secret Weapon ⇒ |