Son-Chu

When you see it, you'll shit bricks

Son-Chu (aka The Sonichu Mobile) is Chris's 1994 Ford Escort.

This "man" has a license to drive a 3-ton murder weapon on public roads. Note the handicapped parking tag in the windshield. The man collects My Little Ponies yet they gave him a license for something that is capable of killing people.

The Department of Motor Vehicles has yet to release an apology for the grievous lapse in judgment that constituted actually giving Christian a license.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris owns a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail.

Disabled

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are really disabled.

Backstory

Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)

Since Chris jerks off to Transformers, he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car." From the CWCipedia:

My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise. Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword. Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.

Vanity plate

The plate reads "SONICHU", thusly ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. It should be noted that in 2007 a state by state survey was taken to assess how many vanity plates were registered in the United States. Of the 9.7 million vanity plates registered[1], 16.19% are in Virginia, making Virginia the national leader in the "Egotistical Retards with Cars" category, Chris being one of these egotistical retards. GOOD JOB, VIRGINIA!

Gallery

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  Side profile of the car. Honor roll my ass.

• 

  The vanity plate, IRL (notice the autism and The GAMe PLACe bumper stickers along with a PVCC license plate frame).

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  The vanity plate, as seen from the comic

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  The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.

See also

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Son-Chu

• Hot Wheels