Difference between revisions of "HEXBox"

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In [[Sonichu 10]] preview, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is shown surveying his evil realm using an Xbox 360 and the controller.
In [[Sonichu 10]] preview, [[Jason Kendrick Howell]] is shown surveying his evil realm using an Xbox 360 and the controller.


Chris also has no idea what a real Xbox 360 is supposed to look like. Most notably, he thinks the console is tinier than a Wii (as everyone who has ever owned an Xbox 360 knows, you need a forklift to move this fucker around) and he also places the power button on the top end of the console rather than the bottom end.
Chris also has no idea what a real Xbox 360 is supposed to look like. Most notably, he thinks the console is tinier than a Wii (as everyone who has ever owned an Xbox 360 knows, you need a forklift to move this fucker around) and he also places the power button on the top end of the console rather than the bottom end (incidentally, Wii also has power button on top and eject button on bottom, exactly the opposite of Xbox 360).


The Microsoft Corporation is not addressed in the comics either directly, or via pseudonym.
The Microsoft Corporation is not addressed in the comics either directly, or via pseudonym.

Revision as of 07:58, 23 October 2009

Hexbox.PNG
File:LegoHexBawxController.jpg
What a CWC lego Hex Bawx controller would look like if Chris:
1. Liked Xboxes
2. Had any sort of artistic talent.

Hex Bawx is a CWC-ism for the Xbox 360 game console, which Chris hates for no real reason other than not wanting to pay for online gaming. This reason is ridiculous, if only because Chris has already accrued thousands of dollars of debt through his many other video game-related purchases.

Chris has stated that if his video game Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles ever gets made, he wants it to become a multi-console title, but NEVER ON XBOX.

Considering he owns an original Xbox, this is extremely hypocritical of him.

The hatred

In an IRC chat from 02 January 2009, Chris expands upon his Hex Bawx hatred:


12:18 <vivitheg> Why, the Xbox 360 has a lot of games that are on the PS3 too
12:18 <ChrisChanSonichu> because the Live is costly.
12:18 <vivitheg> It's only 50 dollars a year
12:19 <vivitheg> that's very cheap compared to the ps3
12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> and I'm already a subscriber between PS3 and Wii, which are FREE.
12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> PSN is Free; Nintendo Wi-Fi is Free.
12:19 <ChrisChanSonichu> Skadoosh.

While making sweet love to his one and only love, Chris failed to tell what he really feels about the Hex-Box (and also failed some rather basic geometry, but that was perfectly understandable in the, ahem, heat of the moment):

"I love PlayStation! I love PlayStation! Kill the Xbox! New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360, you look at it makes you turn around—makes you do a 360° and walk away. Very appropriately called is a damn 120°, 130° whatever, whatever the half of 360° is. Damn damn damn damn damn! damn damn damn damn damn! [...] I love PlayStation. Sony reigns, Sony will reign in the console wars. No matter who argues. Fuck the 350–360 fanatics. Fuck them all to hell. Shot all to hell. Ban them all. What the fuck. They're all motherfucking idiots. What the fuck. Damn damn damn damn."

In the comics

KILL THE BEAST! CUT HIS THROAT! SPILL HIS BLOOD!
Trophy informing reader they can now play their "PLAYSTATION 3 OR NINTENDO Wii IN PEACE".
Jason controlling his evil empire from the luxurious comfort of his Hex-Box.

The HEX-BOX 360 is featured during the elevator gag portion of Sonichu issue 8. Sonichu and Rosechu are greeted by a depiction of an axe cutting through this despised console while traveling past the 70th floor of the 4-cent_garbage building. The 71st floor displays a Playstation Trophy award for killing that HEX-BOX. Why the 4-cent_garbage building would devote an entire floor to one HEX-BOX with an axe in it is never addressed.

O RLY?

Christian draws a red LED around the HEX-BOX's power button. He was either aware of the red lights on the Xbox 360, or is simply using this color to represent a force of evil. Chris may have been aware of the publicized Red Ring of Death; earlier Xbox 360 models frequently died with RRoD due to Microsoft's cost cutting in various parts of the manufacturing, and the problems still haven't entirely been eliminated in the new models either. Normally, all four quadrants being illuminated on an Xbox 360 would indicate a disconnected, or damaged, AV cable.

In Sonichu 10 preview, Jason Kendrick Howell is shown surveying his evil realm using an Xbox 360 and the controller.

Chris also has no idea what a real Xbox 360 is supposed to look like. Most notably, he thinks the console is tinier than a Wii (as everyone who has ever owned an Xbox 360 knows, you need a forklift to move this fucker around) and he also places the power button on the top end of the console rather than the bottom end (incidentally, Wii also has power button on top and eject button on bottom, exactly the opposite of Xbox 360).

The Microsoft Corporation is not addressed in the comics either directly, or via pseudonym.


The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media