Difference between revisions of "Ruckersville, VA"
(Making the article more compact, and adding the trivium that Ruckersville lost five sixths of its population since the year our hero arrived.) |
|||
| Line 29: | Line 29: | ||
}} | }} | ||
'''Ruckersville''' is a census-designated place in Greene County, [[Virginia]], and part of the [[Charlottesville]] metropolitan area. It also happens to be the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the capital of all things [[Sonichu]]-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the [[Richmond]] suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return in [[2000]]. | '''Ruckersville''' is a [[Wikipedia:census-designated place|census-designated place]] in Greene County, [[Virginia]], and part of the [[Charlottesville]] metropolitan area. It also happens to be the home of [[Christian Weston Chandler]] and the capital of all things [[Sonichu]]-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the [[Richmond]] suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of [[Nathanael Greene Elementary School]], only to return in [[2000]]. | ||
Ruckersville markets itself to tourists as a "scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views", a "safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to [[Chandlers|raise a family]] or [[Bob Chandler|quietly retire]]" and "a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new [[Mal-Wart|Wal-Mart]] and great potential for expansion". In reality, Ruckersville is a dull, boring town full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture: a sleepy location without any real tourism to liven itself up, a place where [[Barbara Chandler|people]] hoard their trash and decorate their yards with [[Son-Chu|junked cars]], and where even a family as infamous the [[Chandler Family Tree|Chandlers]] can exist relatively unnoticed. Even so, over 86% of the town's population from before Chris moved back has since abandoned it for Charlottesville proper to the south.<ref>https://www.mapquest.com/us/virginia/ruckersville-va-282036443</ref> Given its dwindling population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of [[14 Branchland Court|recognizable landmarks]] or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Philip Morris (no relation to [[Tobacky|Philip Morris USA/International]]). The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse never to leave [[Chris's room|his room]], let alone get a [[job]]. | |||
[[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | [[Image:Ruckersville Attractions.png|thumb|According to [[Chris and the Internet|the Internet]], there is literally nothing worthy of note in Ruckersville.]] | ||
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days. | Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various [[Greene County Conspiracy|videos]], but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his [[Manchester High School|high school]] days. | ||
| Line 46: | Line 40: | ||
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain. Its surrounding landscape, composed mainly of fields, thin forest, and small housing developments, extends from the larger settlement of [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Even the terrain is boring, although the [[A Hike|Blue Ridge Mountains]] are a short drive away. | The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain. Its surrounding landscape, composed mainly of fields, thin forest, and small housing developments, extends from the larger settlement of [[Charlottesville, VA|Charlottesville]]. Even the terrain is boring, although the [[A Hike|Blue Ridge Mountains]] are a short drive away. | ||
The town is also far from any real civilization: it lies 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville, 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]], and approximately 100 miles (160 km) from [[Pmurt|Washington, D.C.]] Along with the rest of Greene County, it is located within the Charlottesville, Virginia Metropolitan Statistical Area. | The town is also far from any real civilization: it lies 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville, 77 miles (123 km) from [[Richmond]], and approximately 100 miles (160 km) from [[Pmurt|Washington, D.C.]] Along with the rest of Greene County, it is located within the Charlottesville, Virginia Metropolitan Statistical Area. It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a ''Google Street View'' of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply [[Stress|did not care]]. | ||
= | Housing prices in Ruckersville are generally decent,<ref>[https://www.zillow.com/discovery/ruckersville-va/least-expensive/?bv=sb Zillow Real Estate listings for Ruckersville, VA]</ref> but this is most likely because it is the epitome of a commuter or dormitory town, being almost entirely meant for people who work in Charlottesville to come home and promptly [[crash into slumber]], with very little else to offer. Crime rates in Ruckersville are also happily, if unsurprisingly, low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], and likely so are any other criminals living here. | ||
Crime rates in Ruckersville are unsurprisingly low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to [[Chris and the Law|commit his various misdemeanors]], and likely so are any other criminals living here. | |||
==Culture== | ==Culture== | ||
[[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What's culture?]] | [[Image:Tumbleweed.gif|What's culture?]] | ||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
Revision as of 20:28, 22 April 2019
| “ | Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer. | ” |
| Ruckersville's most famous citizen.[1] | ||
| Ruckersville | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Information | |
| Country | United States |
| State | Virginia |
| County | Greene |
| Coordinates | 38°13′59″N 78°22′09″W |
| Classification | Census-designated place |
| Date established | 1732 |
| Population | 1,141 |
| Zip/post code | 22968 |
| Area code | 434 |
| Website | |
| Unavailable | |
| Notable for | |
| Home of Christian Weston Chandler | |
Ruckersville is a census-designated place in Greene County, Virginia, and part of the Charlottesville metropolitan area. It also happens to be the home of Christian Weston Chandler and the capital of all things Sonichu-related. Chris and his family moved from Ruckersville to the Richmond suburbs after their dispute with the faculty of Nathanael Greene Elementary School, only to return in 2000.
Ruckersville markets itself to tourists as a "scenic, tight-knit community that offers panoramic views", a "safe, friendly, and welcoming community in which to raise a family or quietly retire" and "a vibrant and growing downtown, notable for its antiques market, a new Wal-Mart and great potential for expansion". In reality, Ruckersville is a dull, boring town full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture: a sleepy location without any real tourism to liven itself up, a place where people hoard their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, and where even a family as infamous the Chandlers can exist relatively unnoticed. Even so, over 86% of the town's population from before Chris moved back has since abandoned it for Charlottesville proper to the south.[2] Given its dwindling population, Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks or entertainment. The only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Philip Morris (no relation to Philip Morris USA/International). The lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris perfectly, as it gives him one more excuse never to leave his room, let alone get a job.
Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could squander the remainder of his life in a time-capsule of his high school days.
Geography
The geography of Ruckersville is incredibly plain. Its surrounding landscape, composed mainly of fields, thin forest, and small housing developments, extends from the larger settlement of Charlottesville. Even the terrain is boring, although the Blue Ridge Mountains are a short drive away.
The town is also far from any real civilization: it lies 16 miles (26 km) from Charlottesville, 77 miles (123 km) from Richmond, and approximately 100 miles (160 km) from Washington, D.C. Along with the rest of Greene County, it is located within the Charlottesville, Virginia Metropolitan Statistical Area. It's interesting to note that, until very recently, a Google Street View of Ruckersville was unavailable. The housing development that contains Chris's home is still unavailable. It's likely that the road is so poorly marked and difficult to access that the Google camera trucks either missed it, ignored it, or simply did not care.
Housing prices in Ruckersville are generally decent,[3] but this is most likely because it is the epitome of a commuter or dormitory town, being almost entirely meant for people who work in Charlottesville to come home and promptly crash into slumber, with very little else to offer. Crime rates in Ruckersville are also happily, if unsurprisingly, low, with zero murders and only two rapes on record. That said, nearby Charlottesville has contributed to this low crime rate, as Chris is more than happy to waltz over there to commit his various misdemeanors, and likely so are any other criminals living here.
Culture
Gallery
Aerial shot of Ruckersville. Chris's home is highlighted with the red icon.
House prices in the vicinity of 14BC reported on Zillow, c.2019. Note that Chris's house doesn't even have an estimated valuation.
A closeup view of where the magic happens.
Ruckersville lies at the intersection of two major highways. Wow!
And no backwater suburb is complete without replaceable block-letter church signs! (No relation to Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church).
Little did Peter Rucker know that his settlement would be a haven for a moronic man-child.
Chris posing at the Ruckersville sign, April 2019.
