Son-Chu

When you see it, you'll shit bricks ZAP TO THE EXTREME!

Much like James Bond, Chris also has a license to kill (though through his ineptitude in operating a 3-ton mobile weapon)

Son-Chu (aka The Sonichu Mobile) is Chris's 1994 Ford Escort.

While Chris - to put it mildly - obviously suffers from multiple disconcerting issues which are listed elsewhere in this fine wiki, the Department of Motor Vehicles has nevertheless given him a full permission to drive a 3-ton murder weapon motor vehicle to be used in a plan to commit aggravated assault. DMV has yet to release an apology for this grievous lapse in judgment.

Members of PVCC believe that the fact that Chris owns a Ford Escort may be a universal symbol of romantic fail.

Backstory

Since Chris jerks off to Transformers, he pretends that his car is a Transformer named Son-Chu, "Proud Autobot Leader of the Cwcville, Virginia Autobot Squad; he is also is my Cool Sportin', Escortin' Car." From the CWCipedia:

My Car is the Quick-Footed, well-armored '94 Escort; his name is Son-Chu. Dark Blue as Vehicle; he holds BatteryBlue/Yellow Combination Colors and Strong Personality under his hood. He has his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword and Roof-Shield, and when Decepti-Clones attack, he is the First to Show up to the Party and leading the Cwcville Autobot Defense Squad. When I'm not in the driver's seat, and he has to make his way to the fight, he projects my image in the Driver's Seat for the sake of his disguise. Transformation Details: His Roof comes off his vehicle mode to make his Shield. His hood pops off to transform into his Plasma Pistol/Energon Sword. Stay Tuned to watch his Transformation in a few days.

The reason why the car is named "Son-Chu" still remains unknown. The same can be said of all of Chris's other Transformers rip-offs, though.

Handicap parking permit

Being a high functioning autistic male, Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.

Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in one of only two states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. Yes, Chris actually does take up spaces meant for people who are really disabled.

The biggest question is, of course, this: who needs handicap permits when he's got a giant robot? If he can't find parking space, he could just level the parking lot. Duh.

Vanity plate

The plate reads "SONICHU", thusly ensuring no back-seat poontang for Chris. Ever. It should be noted that in 2007 a state by state survey was taken to assess how many vanity plates were registered in the United States. Of the 9.7 million vanity plates registered, 16.19% are in Virginia, making Virginia the national leader in the "Egotistical Retards with Cars" category, with Chris being one of these egotistical retards. GOOD JOB, VIRGINIA!

Gallery

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  Side profile of the car. Honor roll my ass.

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  The vanity plate, IRL (notice the autism and The GAMe PLACe bumper stickers along with a PVCC license plate frame).

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  The vanity plate, as seen from the comic

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  The car in Transformer mode. Note how the mild-mannered Escort somehow grows the front end of a Dodge Viper.

See also

For Truth and Honesty, see the archived CWCipedia page on Son-Chu

• Hot Wheels