DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS
| “ | You know it's okay to be different. Ya know, sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves. Yeah, then we end up with dirty pants. | ” |
| Chris, Don'tPintheOop | ||
DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS is a troll term for Chris's troubles with encopresis.
Stress (surprise, surprise) plays a large role in Chris's incontinence problems, as he has trouble controlling himself when under the hammer.
Chris is often expecting a fart when he suddenly realizes that the briefs that were so clean a moment ago are now DIRTY and CRAPPED.[1]
He justifies his fecal incontinence by claiming that it is perfectly normal and quite common for adults to soil themselves on a regular basis. There are only two causes for a relatively healthy adult to shit themselves: 1.) As a symptom of gastrointestinal distress. 2.) In a fit of vomiting, muscles throughout the body loosen with each successive heave to assist in expelling the stomach's contents. With all the body's energy being used for heaving, the anus is unable to stay tight and closed. This is more likely if diarrhea is present.
In March 2009, Ivy alleged that Chris's claims of dirty, crapped briefs are not, as some argued, merely skid-marks in his undergarments (presumably to assert he wears briefs enough to have skid-marks in them) but rather he has problems controlling his sphincter and apparently is open about the fact, presumably to gain pity.Template:PublicSauce It was also alleged that Chris's doctor has been trying to get him to wear pads, and that Barb is tired of having to wash his crapped underwear.Template:PublicSauce
It is likely that his brief-crappings are chronic, as in the chat of 4 March 2009 with Julie, Julie's brother Max asks Chris if he's crapped his briefs and he yells "MAYBE!", but then admits that he has indeed crapped his pants with a "...Yes."
On 28 April 2009, Chris admitted in a video that he craps his pants when he's stressed and says that it's perfectly normal, comparing shitting his pants as a grown man with a baby defecating in its diaper.
On 1 December 2009, Chris refused to offer advice to a girl who suggested that she had some degree of fecal incontinence, claiming that the topic was personal, and that he refused to talk about it. Given Chris's gloried history of bad taste and indiscretion, this drawing a line between what is private and public could be a milestone. Or, perhaps, he just found the idea of a girl who shits herself to be too icky for his tastes.
Further evidence of Chris's discomfort in talking about the subject lies in his choice of dated vocabulary. Rather than calling toilets a "toilet" or a "john", Chris refers to them formally and in an antiquated fashion as "commodes", almost as if he's embarrassed to mention them. Yet ironically, DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS are not a personal subject.
In an AIM chat conducted on 20 October 2010, Chris revealed to Jackie that on many occasions where he turns what was once white into brown, it slips out painlessly and that he often doesn't know until he sits down. In fact, he had shat himself at the exact point where she asked about the term "dirty crapped briefs". He blamed it on "stress" that he had from earlier in the session, which involved him recalling tales of high school bullying. He then stated that it had happened in previous chats that they've had and that they might have a psychic link.
On 30 October 2010, Chris revealed how he handles crapping himself in public. He admitted that when he craps himself, he goes into the nearest public restroom, walks into a stall, and wipes his ass and shitty underwear with toilet paper. Otherwise, he waits until the drive home to clean himself up. Yes, everyone, he openly admits not only to shitting his pants, but also to driving home with shit smeared all over his ass. This adds to the list of reasons not to accept a ride from Chris.
Transcript
21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT A MAN DEEP INSIDE YOU
21:13 <%ChrisChanSonichu> That, sir is INCORRECT.
21:13 <@clydeC> YOU WANT TO WEAR A BRA AND PANTIES
21:13 <@clydeC> OH WAIT, YOU HAVE!
21:13 <@clydeC> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
21:13 <@BILLY_MAYS> ZING
21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Clothing does not make a person.
21:14 <@clydeC> THAT ISN'T CLOTHING CHRIS
21:14 <@clydeC> IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO BE A GIRL
21:14 <@clydeC> THAT IS SHOWING
21:14 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Bras and Panties are considered UNDERWEAR, and UNDERWEAR is a type of CLOTHING.
21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, I KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE
21:14 <@BILLY_MAYS> T-SHIRT = CLOTHING, BRA = FEMALE SUPPORT GARMENT
21:14 <@clydeC> LOOK, BRAS ARE FOR FEMALES
21:14 <@clydeC> SO EXPLAIN THAT
21:15 <@clydeC> AND SO ARE PANTIES, UNLESS YOU'RE GAY
21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU ARE
21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> Brief and Boxer = Clothing as well.
21:15 <@clydeC> BUT THOSE ARE FOR GUYS
21:15 <@clydeC> WHICH YOU DON'T WEAR APPARENTLY
21:15 <@clydeC> BECAUSE YOU WEAR PANTIES
21:15 <%ChrisChanSonichu> I have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.
21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WAIT
21:15 <@clydeC> WHAT? CAN'T MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM!?
21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> YOU.... YOU....
21:15 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHAT
21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OFFER THAT INFORMATION
21:16 <%ChrisChanSonichu> at those times, it mostly slipped out without my knowledge.
21:16 <@BILLY_MAYS> OH JESUS CHRIST NO
21:16 <@clydeC> WOW, YOU'RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN I IMAGINED
21:16 <@clydeC> YOU'RE STILL IN THE CLOSET, AND YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BOWELS
