Jail Letter Gifts
Holy Labels are bottle wrappers which Chris's small brain thinks will bless the drinker and purify the water. Chris deadass wants you to laminate those pieces of shit and copy them because you will get his blessing. Chris's fried, little, slow, egotistic brain is SOOOOOO far gone to the point where he thinks PAPER will BLESS you. He sends these pieces of garbage to people and expects them to put that shit on their plastic water bottles to drink it. Drinking that water will probably give you cholera or some shit since only god knows how unhygienic Chris is in jail.
Analysis
All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:
| Scrawled on the back of a plastic bottle wrapper: | ||
| The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! | 
|
Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart. |
All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.
On the left are the words:
| “ | The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! | ” |
And on the right are the words:
| “ | Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart. | ” |
In a letter sent to Kengle Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".
List of Labels Mailed
| Front | Back | Product | Date Sent | Sent To |
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Coca Cola | 30 October 2021 | Kenneth Englehardt |
|
|
Grape Fanta | 8 November 2021 | Stories from the Penitentiary |
|
Coca Cola | 30 November 2021 | Celestia |
See Also
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