Monthly tugboat
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YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! |
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| “ | yet AGAIN I am waiting for my next tugboat from my Social before I can even pay a Website to Host me and grant me a better .com domain name than sonichu.com | ” |
| Chris to Miyamoto, complaining about how long his free money is taking | ||
The monthly tugboat is Chris's euphemism for his Social Security Disability Insurance check. Essentially, the United States government has a taxpayer-funded program to financially support disabled individuals whose injuries or ailments leave them unable to work. However, many recipients are simply diagnosis-holders who choose not to work despite being able to do so. Like Chris.
Chris receives roughly $800 each month, with $450 going to his parents for room and board. The rest of it generally goes towards video games or straight up his ass. However, $350 per month is nowhere near enough to satisfy Chris's need for games, porn, PlayStation Network downloads and a constant supply of Chicken McNuggets. As of July 2009, he owed at least $2000 in credit-card debt, some on cards of his own and some on cards he stole from his parents.
Challenged by a correspondent in the Mailbag, Chris claimed that he is not wasting his taxpayer-funded tugboat, because he is putting that money back into the economy and indirectly paying the tugboats of others. According to Chris's logic, by purchasing his useless commercial goods, he is paying sales tax which the government puts directly back into the hands of the needy. This is a tremendous leap of faulty rationalization, even for Chris, and he fails to elaborate on his shaky economic theories in any detail. If you thought he didn't understand money before, you ain't seen nothing yet.
On the advice of his father, Chris doesn't get a job because the tugboat gives him more money overall. Your tax dollars at work, people.
See also
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This article, like Chris's pickle, is a bit small. You can help CWCki by expanding it. |