User:Beat/Sandbox
GONNA CLEAN UP LIQUID CHRIS MOTHERFUCKERS
Liquid Chris Motherfuckers
Liquid Chris (aka the impostor in the brown stripes, CChanSonichuCWC, and erroneously "Jeff") (born 24 February 1982) is the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu. His artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful boyfriend-free females with his medallions and his Guitar of Win. He makes mad cash by selling said medallions at Otakon and other anime conventions.
Currently Married to Kacey Liquid now exists on the fringes of the continuing story of Chris-Chan. He no longer appears in videos, but drops by every now and then to drop dox, create remixes, or show support to the current generation of trolls.
Origins
There are several theories as to why there are two Christian Weston Chandlers who both claim to be the creator of the Sonichu series, and why one Chris-chan seems to be better than the other. Some of these theories include:
- The Ian Brandon Anderson hypothesis - the so-called "Real Chris" who goes by IBAChandler on YouTube is really an impostor named Ian Brandon Anderson (hence IBA) who is a professional troll dedicated to impersonating Chris. The fact that the impostor calls himself a "gaybian" seems to suggest that he wasn't actually saying that he was a "gay lesbian", but "gay-be-ian" as in "Gay be Ian", or "My name is Ian and I am a homosexual."
- Government experiment - some argue that Liquid and Solid Chris were a result of a government experiment, similar to the popular comedy movie Twins where Liquid was created to be an Übermensch (though Cherry Cola may have caused some of the defects such as idiosyncratic behavior [citation needed]) while Solid inherited all the recessive genes.
- Alternate timeline - some argue that Liquid Chris is from an alternate timeline where Chris was not coddled by his parents and managed to do something with his life.
- IBA is a different person - both Christian Weston Chandlers have been coexisting for years, both ironically creating the same exact character and storyline of Sonichu. Ian Brandon Anderson is a completely separate person from Solid Chris who merely looks a lot like him, and Liquid Chris has been mistaking him for Ian Brandon Anderson the entire time. Solid Chris does not know that he is the only one who can save Liquid Chris from the real IBA's evil clutches.
- Parallel dimension - similar to the alternate timeline argument, some suggest that Liquid Chris comes from a parallel dimension where his parents were not coddled and a dimension where copyright laws as we know them do not exist and combinations of original characters are created as works of pure genius.
- Physical Manifestation of Chris's Shadow - According to Jungian psychology, the shadow is the opposite of the self-image, often containing qualities that the ego does not identify with but possesses nonetheless. Solid and Liquid Chris are one and the same person but with different personality traits. Somehow, while the method is unknown, the Liquid Chris personality was extracted from Solid Chris into a physical form containing all the opposites in Solid Chris's personality (read: the good ones).
- Alien Liquid Chris came to earth on a comet, where upon landing, he transformed his body into a perfected version of the human form. Knowing he had to assimilate into our society, he sought to replace the one being who would never be missed.
Drama with Chris
In all seriousness, CWC has further demonstrated his total inability to understand satire and parody. Recently, two videos vehemently defending his claim that he is the original creator of Sonichu (Whoop-de-fucking-doo). CChanSonichuCWC has fired back with much more coherent, well-made videos, gathering him a cult of fans on YouTube.
On July 26th, 2009, Solid Chris posted the following on one of CChanSonichu's videos:
- The Final Showdown
Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR!
I am Calling YOU OUT!
14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA BEFORE August 2, 2009. If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me.
oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD.
But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS.
You are a Nerd and a Whimp!
Have a good day.
Christopher Christian Weston Chandler
Irony
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:
It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and the mirror is winning.
In early August 2009[1], Solid started to believe that Liquid can't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a retard who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.
In a further fit of irony, Ian ends up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey.
Challenges
CChanSonichuCWC has been challenged by CWC on two separate occasions. The first time, Chris challenged him in broken Spanish to respond to his video in Spanish as well, since the real CWC can "speak" Spanish in this video. CChanSonichuCWC did so not only in Spanish but also in French, German, and Japanese here . The second time, Chris challenged him to a karaoke competition.
Showdown
Chris had a telephone exchange with CChanSonichuCWC in which he threatens to arrest him for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.
Transcript
IBA: Hello?
CWC: Hello Ian. Yeah I think you know who this is.
IBA: Look Christian, stop this.
CWC: Look, you are giving me a lot of stress right now and I am not going to handle it.
IBA: (sighs) Look, Chris, listen, I was kind enough to accept the fact that you are actually a Christian W. Chandler, but you were…
CWC: No! My name, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.
IBA: All right fine, your name is Christian Weston Chandler. But the fact is, you were born with that name; you are not the Christian Weston Chandler that was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, who’s the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu.
CWC: No, no, no.
IBA: I’ve asked you nicely to please stop pretending, for the sake of Kacey. She really cares about you.
CWC: I am not pretending anything. And you need to stop slandering me with your lies on the YouTube.
IBA: Look, I don’t know what the heck is wrong with your head, but you know and I know, my parents know, Kacey knows, the whole world knows that you are not Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.
CWC: Hold on! Well... well then the whole world must be slandering against me, because I don’t think that’s very true. Because my fan base, if you took a look at my YouTube, you take a look at my YouTube video, you see that my fanbase has left me comments of support. And I’ve taken a look at your YouTube video and you and I see that they are all calling you out.
IBA: Look, Chris please, don’t do this. You’re breaking my balls here. Stop doing this. Stop playing this game. Quite pretending. Please come clean. Stop it.
CWC: I am not pretending... Mmmm. You are really ticking me off right now. Mmm.
IBA: Look, we’re both ticking each other off, but let's…
CWC: You keep making up; all these things, I mean whatever, you know, AND right now, you’re making that up right now.
IBA: Making what up?
CWC: You're just making that up off the top of your head, because your name is not Christian Weston Chandler, it is Ian Brandon Anderson, and you are grinding my gears.
IBA: No, no, listen, I'll spell it out for you; I came up with I - B - A - Chandler as in I being myself, B as in specifying what I am, A as in singular, and Chandler being my last name. There is no such thing as Ian Brandon Anderson.
CWC: No, because I found it out, your Ian Brandon Anderson name, the reason you a... you added Chandler to that is because you were paying tribute to the serial killer Oba Chandler.
(Ian and his parents talk in the background.)
IBA: Are you still there?
CWC: Yeah, I'm still here. What do you want to talk about?
(Ian and his parents talk in the background more.)
IBA (background): I'm not going to let this go, he's *inaudible* around with me in real life.
(Bob talks in the background.)
IBA (background): He's continuing to call me this Ian Brandon Anderson that somebody made up.
(Bob talks in the background some more.)
IBA: Look, Chris, stop it, stop this game, you know...
CWC: I am not playing a game, I have... I have not... I have been... I have been being true and honest this entire time, and you have been playing a dirty game.
IBA: Look, stop... No, no, no, no, I am not playing a game, I am being the true... I am true honest voice of reason here, I am the true honest one here. I am the original true creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of CWCville- (gets cut off)
CWC: No, no, no, that was me.
IBA: You're just... No, no, no, no. (gets cut off by CWC) You have never been to Manchester High School, you have never been to Piedmont Virginia Community College, you are taking the same class as Kacey is, over at community college in Washington DC.
CWC: No I am not, I don't even live in the Washington DC.
IBA: You are in DC, I know it, she knows it, we all know it, now stop it, if you don't (gets cut off by CWC) If you don't (gets cut off again) If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like (voice cracks) you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!
CWC: That's not true, I am honor roll! I am honor roll, and you... you have just been... (trademark groan) And you know what? How would you... when would you even, you know, you keep making all these threats with the police and (gets cut off)
IBA: I am not making any threats (gets cut off), everything I tell you is true, honest, and legit, you are the one- (gets cut off)
CWC: No, you are being, you were being, you are not being true and you are not being honest.
IBA: Okay, this is it. I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just busting my balls again, you're going to jail, I'm sorry Kacey.
The End
At the end of the competition, CChanSonichuCWC won the SingStar Challenge. He had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. After showing the viewers that he was the true and best Christian Weston Chandler, he decided to "grow up". Having found a true sweetheart, (Kacey); a job (Production Manager and Game Designer at Microsoft for a Sonichu game for all consoles); commercial (Dark Horse Comics publishing his Sonichu comics) and financial success (the opening of the CWCStore); he decided to stop battling the slanderous impostor move out of his parent's house to live in Redmond, Seattle and continue with his happy, successful life.
At the end Ian Brandon Anderson couldn't take it, and after his last video the fate of CChanSonichuCWC was revealed. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.
What happened next is unknown, but one thing is clear: IAN BRANDON ANDERSON HAS KIDNAPPED OUR BELOVED CHRIS.
Chris's sweetheart, Kacey, was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.
The Return of the King
Chris, not one to give up easily, triumphantly returned to the Internet on 15 October 2009 with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months:
Since his return, Chris has been caught up in a heated love triangle, with Ian desperately trying to steal Chris' sweetheart, Kacey. In the video adressed to Kacey's parents, Ian called him "the previous Chris". In a desperate video for Kacey, Ian called him the "other Chris" repeatedly.
When the dust had settle, Ian had offended Kacey's father and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.
In the Comics
On November 17, 2009, the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's shitty ripoff comic. Ian, being the butthurt idiot he is, actually had the nerve to imply that the real Chris's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and again tried to convince everyone that he was the original creator of Sonichu. This only proves how far that slanderous impostor will go to feed his delusions of grandeur.
Of course, since the comic is made by the real Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown him in Ian's sick parody.
See also
- Robert Simmons V - an inverse of Liquid: someone exactly like Chris but who wants to be Chris's friend.
External links
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- ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009