Boyfriend-free girl
Boyfriend-free girl is a peculiar turn of phrase that Chris uses. Obviously, it refers to a girl who is single.
Etymology
This is what Chris calls single white women. He wants one to make into a "Sweetheart from the Ground-Up."
Chris emphasizes the "boyfriend-free" part as nearly every girl he asks out has a boyfriend for some bizarre reason. One possible explanation is that a gal pal, hoping to kindly but firmly deter Chris from hitting on her, would claim she had a boyfriend, even if she doesn't. It seems that the very presence of Chris can cause a woman to spontaneously grow a boyfriend, or jerk. Also, the fact that "boy" is the first part of what he seeks may be perpetually thwarting his attempts to stay straight.
Chris also fears "gals" that have boyfriends, a condition he calls noviophobia.
In late October 2009, Chris's standards took a step down yet again. Chris became infatuated with Liquid Chris's girlfriend Kacey, going so far as to say he loved her in a grainy YouTube video, where he did not sound the least bit desperate at all. Days later, Chris asked her out via YouTube, which is a totally mature and appropriate way for a 27-year-old man to ask a woman out on a date.
Although Chris has done disturbing things in the name of unrequited love before, and has previously been infatuated with a woman in a committed relationship, this was his first serious attempt to break up a couple for his own personal gain. To this end, he also created yet another video where he described himself as a popular, attractive, even-tempered individual who makes good choices and has a strong moral compass.
tl;dr: Chris now believes he can steal people's girlfriends by making crappy YouTube videos full of lies and sexual innuendo.
This Chris sounds like a stud, where do I sign up?
Click here if you wish to pursue becoming a girlfriend of Christian.
I'm a fat, lazy, narcissist with no money. Suggestions?
Unfortunately, the ads you may have seen for 1-800-RITE-NOW are stupidly false.