Cutco
Cutco, officially known as Alcas during Chris's stint there, is a multi-level marketing company that sells overpriced, medium-quality knives. Chris was employed by Cutco from June to September 2003, and it remains the only significant employer Chris has ever had besides Wendy's. It's also the last kind of job Chris has ever had to date.
Employment
Chris describes his background with Cutco in the Miyamoto Saga e-mails:
| “ | One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean. | ” |
| Chris, clarifying that he is not emo | ||
Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing, is a notorious borderline scam.[1] While arguably not an outright scam, they will more or less hire anyone who is willing to pay $150 upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through leads (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as autistic manchildren) for these "sales positions."
It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, corpulent manchildren have trouble doing so. Chris touched back on the subject on his CWCipedia entry, noting that "[my status as an employee] may have gone longer if my boss had not left Charlottesville for good in August."[2] Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town. He later told Vanessa Hudgens that his boss "got replaced."[3]
Chris took the Cutco job at a critical moment in his personal life, as he had realized several months earlier that he needed a girlfriend. He seems to have hoped that the job could help him with his sweetheart search; he remembered that it gave him the opportunity to "socialize." He believed that the job had allowed him to utilize his "good people/social skills," and he was disappointed that it "was ONLY a Summer gig." It was at this point, with a growing sense of desperation and urgency, that he made his first Attraction Sign, which stated that, among his other positive qualities, he was a "Natural salesperson."
Other mentions
- Chris put a Cutco outlet in CWCville Shopping Center.
- After Chris crushed his dildo on 6 February 2009, he used a pair of Cutco Super Shears to cut it into pieces.[4]
- Chris used a Cutco knife to make his "Gay Trucker" denim top.[5] We can assume from these two references that he may have a number of unsold Cutco knives in his possession.
- On Thanksgiving of 2016, Chris posted on Facebook that he used the Cutco "Spatula Spreader" to prepare his Thanksgiving dinner.[6] It's worth noting that the price of Cutco's "Spatula Spreader" at the time was almost $70 while other brands went for around $25.[7] However, Chris states that he had his for "over a decade." This also implies that some of Chris's Cutco leftovers may have survived the house fire.