Tobacky
Tobacky, also known as tobacco, is an agricultural product that contains a powerful stimulant and is commonly smoked to deliver a smooth, easy taste, which people like Chris complain about, but a little-known fact is that it can also be snuffed (snorted like cocaine), or chewed and comically spat in nostalgic '70s/'80s baseball movies.
Christian Weston Chandler hates tobacky almost as much as he hates homos. If he could, he would send every last ounce of tobacky on a rocket to the motherfucking moon.
One of the prerequisites for a sweetheart that Chris has never veered from is that his TRUE sweetheart be "smoke-free", or rather a non-smoker like himself. Strangely, despite being a Family Guy fan, he fails to understand Lois Griffin's sage wisdom: "If she smokes, she pokes."
However, he would probably just throw his morals out if a sexy galpal offered him a smoke.
Chris on tobacky
In an ED edit from 10 November 2007, attempting to clarify a comment about Christian Weston Chandler's FUTURE MESSAGE, Chris said:
| “ | He [Chris] also talks about how he wants to take every ounce of "tobacky" (said that way, because he felt uncomfortable saying the actual fucking word) and shoot it to the moon. | ” |
In his Q&A video, Chris stated that tobacco and alcohol importation is the most severe crime in CWCville and warrants "ten years or fifteen hundred dollar fine." In short, importing cigarettes is apparently worse than rape, theft, murder, or even being a homo in CWCville.
In an IRC chat from 02 January 2009, Chris explains why the moon and not the sun:
| “ | I have given thought of sending the tobacco to the Sun, but then the smell from all that would likely emit from the giant star and stink up our Galaxy, possibly shortening the lifespan not only around our world, but the other 8 planets as well. | ” |
| Chris, IRC, 02 Jan 2009, 12:17 | ||
Chris and Marijuana
Chris seems to have an even stronger hatred for Cannabis, despite it being hailed as an Autism treatment, he still holds on to the idea that it is even worse than tobacky because in CWCville, cigarette smokers are only given a $1,500 fine, but even those who simply possess weed are sentenced to Maximum Security Prison, where they usually end up cellmates with terrorist leaders.
So, did he stay committed to never smoking the stuff?
Nope, looks like Chris failed to heed godbear's warning.