CWC-isms

This article is rated M for Honest Content It may contain content deemed not safe for work. Reader discretion is advised.

One of Chris's most notorious features is his strange vocabulary. Like many children who don't feel comfortable referring to adult concepts directly, Chris often resorts to creating cutesy euphemisms for a lot of words that anyone else his age would generally use with little reservation, which is common with autistic people. While some of them are understandable — after all, nobody would really relish discussing their diapers — others, such as "tobacky" instead of "tobacco", only serve to turn an otherwise normal sentence into an advertisement for Chris's childish nature. Others are attempts to be clever that fail miserably, for example, he refers to semen as "navy", because semen sounds like sea men, get it? Combine this with the idiosyncratic speech patterns that are common among autistics, and you get his so-called CWCisms.

CWC-isms may be combinations or butchered versions of words or phrases that already exist, entirely new words, commonplace words that he uses repeatedly in a peculiar or obsessive way, or entirely new phrases that Chris often has to explain afterwards because nobody knows what he's talking about.

Primary categories of CWC-isms

There are 5 main types of CWC-isms:

1. CWC-neologism - a new word or phrase, which didn't exist before, and was first created by Chris.
   Example: Lovehogs, a portmanteau of "love" and "hedgehogs".
2. CWC-euphemism - a preexisting word or phrase, which Chris for some strange reason gave a totally different meaning than it was meant to.
   Example: Duck, meant to denote a bird, Chris uses it to denote his penis.
3. CWC-anachronism - an obscure word or phrase which Chris has learned somewhere and now likes to utter pretty often, and which became characteristic for Chris's way of speaking/writing.
   Example: I don't care for smth., a phrase Chris uses almost every time he expresses hate for something or someone.
4. CWC-misspelling - only the most notable of Chris's misspellings: those, which became characteristic for Chris's way of writing.
   Example: Geinus, what he deems himself to be.
5. Other shit - or Miscellaneous.

These 5 Main Types of CWC-isms are here to help you determine, if a word or phrase is a CWC-ism. If it fits the first 4 types, it most probably is. If it doesn't, it most probably isn't. Only the most important and notable of exclusions go into the 5th Type.

A

|- |

Adult Swim

1. (adjective) pornographic or otherwise "NSFW"; containing adult content.

She still has a great drawing style, even for the Adult Swim section."

Origin: Refers to the Cartoon Network block, Adult Swim. Chris seemed to only consider the "Adult" part of this block's name, and therefore assumed he could use this phrase to describe anything that's "adult" to him.

adulterous

1. (adjective) Of an adult and mature nature

Originally it was supposed to be like, you know, like ages 7 and up, but then I end up going to the content, uh, it could be considered, be like, be like definitely be considered adulterous.

Origin: usually used to describe people who cheat on their partners (i.e. guilty of adultery), Chris only notices the "adult" component of the word.

2. (adjective) Insult of unclear nature

Heeeeey, folks! It's me, Clyde Cash. I am the ruler of the internet and the internet trolls. I am an adulterous foe, a bastard and a self-righteous idiot who spends his time wallowing and trolling the one Christian Weston Chandler, and making up a whole bunch of dadgum rumors all over the internet!

Origin: Chris simply throws out the insult without a clear understanding of the word. Possibly referring to Clyde taking PandaHalo from Chris, though this is more aptly described as cuckoldry.

an' anurr thing

1. (Phrase, transitionary) Signifies that Chris wishes to make another point about a subject he is discussing, and that he wishes he were Peter Falk.

An' anurr thing...CHRIS. Your for real- your real name, as I have been told by Kacey, is only Chris Chandler! No "-tian," no "-topher," just Chris! So, admit that. An' anurr thing, I NAME is NOT IAN! BRANDON!!! SOMETHING!!!!!

Origin: a corruption of "and another thing". Used constantly when Chris is angry.

anchuent

1. (adjective) Anything that is archaic in the Sonichu canon.

Well, what's this? I'm havin' an upgrade? Huh! Huh! My- my powers are given me the ability to fly with my wings attached to my head! It's like a w- it's like an add-on! That's optional! Huh! Must have been done by Anchuent Powers, so awesome I can fly now! Huh!

Origin: Initially, "anchuent" was taken to be a misspelling of the word "ancient" given Chris' poor grasp of the English language. Over time, however, it was revealed that "anchuent" was meant to be a portmanteau of the words "ancient" and "Sonichu", adding the "chu" part of "Sonichu" into the word "ancient".

and such

1. (phrase) And additional items; to add to a list.

At least to give you all, my patient, loyal Fans and Trolls, something to quell your pallets until Official Merchandise is sold in Official Stores such as Toys 'R' Us, GameStop, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etcetera and such.

Origin: Chris understands the term's meaning, but uses it superfluously.

artery

1. (noun) art.

Good evening, but between this and the, uh, oh, and the other clips I would like to present you, uh, a few examples of hand artery.

Origin: Not to be confused with the term for blood vessels. Chris doesn't seem to realize "art" is already a noun and doesn't need the suffix.

as such

1. (adverb) In the manner previously described.

They just hated me because they don't, they did not understand people with autism. And so they tortured me as such.

Origin: Chris overuses this phrase to the point of self-parody. He's either taking it on to fill space when he can't think of the next thing to say, or he's peppering it into his language in a feeble attempt to sound intelligent.

attraction location

1. (noun) Any place Chris may sit to gain the attention of any bypassing women, only to get promptly kicked out afterward.

Also, as of early November, I was reemitted into the Fashion Square Shopping Center, and since Mid-December, I totally left the UVA as an Attraction Location.

Origin: Chris, having a very difficult socializing with women, thought that sitting around in a certain place and soliciteing himself would be a better alternative. Therefore, it would make sense to him to sit in a location with many people in order to gain the attention of several women.

attraction time

1. (noun) The time that is spent at an attraction location

Then, on my next visit to the mall, I felt seriously depressed about what had happened the other day; it killed my attraction time.

|}

References