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Cutco logo.png
The knives that Chris never cut himself or anyone else with.

Cutco, officially known as Alcas during Chris's stint there, is a multi-level marketing company that sells overpriced, medium-quality knives. Chris was employed by Cutco from June to September 2003, and it remains the only significant employer Chris has ever had besides Wendy's. It's also the last kind of job Chris has ever had to date.


Chris describes his background with Cutco in the Miyamoto Saga e-mails:

One summer I was employed as a Salesman for Cutco products; the owners of the "Double-D" Edge and the Super Shears that can cut a penny to create a pig-tail. Lifetime Guarantee on sharpness. The boss left at Summer's end, and I lost that job. FYI, I was very cautious with my samples of cutary, and I do not have any intentions of harming myself or anyone else. My record is clean.
Chris, clarifying that he is not emo
Wonder where the inspiration for this card came from?

Cutco, under the guise of Vector Marketing, is a notorious borderline scam.[1] While arguably not an outright scam, they will more or less hire anyone who is willing to pay $150 upfront for a "demo kit" and get people to buy overpriced knife sets on commission through leads (in other words, Chris was not going door to door). They target high schoolers and college students along with people with no real experience (such as autistic manchildren) for these "sales positions."

It is unknown if Chris was ever able to sell a knife set to any of his leads, as even people who aren't autistic, corpulent manchildren have trouble doing so. Chris touched back on the subject on his CWCipedia entry, noting that "[my status as an employee] may have gone longer if my boss had not left Charlottesville for good in August."[2] Chris is oblivious to the fact that his "boss" pretty much took his money and skipped town. He later told Vanessa Hudgens that his boss "got replaced."[3]

Chris took the Cutco job at a critical moment in his personal life, as he had realized several months earlier that he needed a girlfriend. He seems to have hoped that the job could help him with his sweetheart search; he remembered that it gave him the opportunity to "socialize." He believed that the job had allowed him to utilize his "good people/social skills," and he was disappointed that it "was ONLY a Summer gig." It was at this point, with a growing sense of desperation and urgency, that he made his first Attraction Sign, which stated that, among his other positive qualities, he was a "Natural salesperson."

Other mentions

Flipping over the logo of Vector, a subsidiary of Cutco, gets you an accurate summation of their business.


See also

External links

The places of Chris's life

Chris's homes: 14 Branchland Court (Chris's room | Chris's kitchen | Yard | 2014 house fire) | Cloverleaf Lakes Apartments | Surreywood Subdivision | Newberry Towne Subdivision | Rental House | Central Virginia Regional Jail | Western State Hospital | Big Island house

Chris's education: Greene County Primary School | James Madison University | Providence Middle School | Nathanael Greene Elementary School | Manchester High School | Piedmont Virginia Community College (not to be confused with Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens)

Chris's churches: Grace Baptist Church | Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church

Chris's jobs: Cutco Cutlery | Wendy's | Books-a-million | Toys “R” Us | Sonichu Entertainment of America

Other attraction locations: University of Virginia | Charlottesville Fashion Square (Abercrombie & Fitch | Chick-fil-A | Pac Sun | Starbucks) | Wal-Mart (McDonald's) | Target | The GAMe PLACe | Impulse Gay Social-Club | Fridays After Five

Conventions: Animate! Raleigh | Anime Mid-Atlantic | BronyCon (2017 • 2018 • 2019) | MAGfest | OmegaCon | TooManyGames

Other places Chris has visited: Anytime Fitness | Best Buy | Burger King | Country Cookin | "Create-a-Crear Workshop" | Cville Pride | The End Games | GameStop | Golden Corral | McIntire Park | Region Ten | Snooky's Pawn Shop | Taco Bell

Cities of the World: Albemarle County (Advance Mills) | Bedford County (Big Island) | Charlottesville | Chesterfield County (Midlothian) | Greene County (Barboursville | Ruckersville | Stanardsville) | Harrisonburg | Lynchburg | Richmond

Countries of the World: Australia | Australatina | China | Confederate States | England | Germany | Italy | Iraq | Japan | Mexico | Molvanîa | Niger | Spain | Russia | United States (California | District of Columbia | Maryland | North Carolina | Ohio | Pennsylvania | Texas | Virginia | Washington)

Extra-terrestrial locations: Dimensions | The Moon | The Sun

Map of Chris's World