Chris's room (14 Branchland Court)

There is no escape, YOUNG LADY.

The dragon's lair. Chris has spent most of his life in his room. Since being kicked out of the college, the mall and the Pokémon league, he leaves his room regularly only for church and more recently Fridays After Five, with the odd notable exception.

Overview

A rough map of the Chris's room

Chris's bedroom is on the second floor of his house, with two windows on the northwest wall and a smaller window (covered by The Wall of Originals) on the northeast wall. Based on Chris's video tour of his house, his cluttered room is actually spotless compared to the rest of the house, another reason why Chris may spend so much time holed up in his sanctuary.

Just like ShecameforCWC.jpg is pretty much the picture that sums up Chris's mind, his room — like most bedrooms — also sums up quite nicely a lot of the awful things about Chris:

• His incredible attachment to material possessions, as evidenced by the massive amounts of clutter.
• His also-incredible laziness, as evidenced by the large amounts of disorganized clutter on the floor, bed and couch.
• In contrast, notice the careful and orderly arrangement of his video games, DVDs, trading cards, posters and toys: evidence of how they rank on his list of priorities when compared to serious stuff like work, education, human relationships or personal development.
• Megan's shrine, the definite and unquestionable proof of Chris's obsession with the only person that has ever been friendly to him.
• The notoriously high presence of Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog and other franchises aimed at 8-12 year old kids — or in other words, people of the same mental and emotional age as Chris.
• Also, the prominent presence of Transformers, held by Chris as a symbol of manliness, are one more proof of Chris's fear of becoming a homo.
• The fact that most of his possessions are toys or video games — that is, things he can absolutely control, that always do what he wants, basically the wet dream of a manipulator.
• He also shows extreme hoarding behavior (he picks stuff up automatically and carries it to his room). Hoarders like Chris are usually either elderly, formerly abused children, or autistic. Since Chris insists he's autistic its probably safe to say that he hoards as a coping mechanism.
• Finally, the fact that Chris retreats to his room whenever he feels the slightest bit of stress, his refusal to discard his detritus, and the fact that Chris has his own imaginary world called Cwcville, could possibly mean that Chris's toys, which he claims to play with for 2 to 3 hours a day, are like a physical, earthly extension of his own imaginary world, thus infusing him with a sense of safety and comfort.

In February 2009, Clyde Cash forced Chris to clean up his room a bit.

Only two persons are known to have ventured into the cesspool Chris calls his room: Bob Chandler, as exposed in a leaked video and an unnamed individual appearing in the Magical Man Potion video. One animal, Kitty Chandler, was shown in Chris's room in another video.

In some daytime videos, there is a strange green hue. It is possible that it was an issue of camera quality or light shining through his curtains, but it could also be noxious gasses made by the mutated combination of Axe Body Spray and Chris' own stench.

Images from the Pits of Hell

A panoramic view of Chris's room.

These images are arranged beginning at the northeastern wall of the room, going counter-clockwise. Not included here are photographs of the southeastern wall and east corner.

• 

  April 2000, as Chris was moving back in from Richmond.

• 

  Northeastern wall, near north corner. A sheet of his homemade Pokémon cards covers the window.

• 

  North corner

• 

  Northwestern wall near the north corner. The air conditioner on the left here can be seen in the upper left corner of the front of his house.

• 

  Northwestern wall near the west corner

• 

  West corner. The bookshelf on the right is the Megan shrine.

• 

  Southwestern wall. The closet doors are behind the shelves of video games. It's not clear how Chris can access the contents of the closet, assuming he ever does.

• 

  South corner. The door leads out of the room into the hallway. The Attraction Sign can be seen hanging on the back of the door. In Sonichu 6, the portal leading to CWCville appears where the Dance Dance Revolution mat is hanging. To add the finishing touch of fail, there is a Bubsy game on the shelf.

• 

  Great view of the Wall of Originals

• 

  3 bookshelves full of games

• 

  Close-ups of the Desk of Fail

• 
• 
• 
• 

See also

• 14 Branchland Court
• Megan Shrine
• Ruckersville, VA