Difference between revisions of "Jail Letter Gifts"

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(expansion of the first paragraph)
(Trying to get the A-Loggish tone out of here.)
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'''Holy Labels''' are ''bottle wrappers'' which Chris's [[slow-in-the-mind|small brain]] thinks will bless the drinker and purify the water. Chris deadass wants you to laminate those pieces of shit and copy them because you will get his [[messiah_complex|blessing]]. Chris's fried, little, slow, egotistic brain is '''SOOOOOO''' far gone to the point where he thinks '''PAPER''' will '''BLESS''' you. He sends these pieces of ''garbage'' to [[weens|people]] and expects them to put that shit on their plastic water bottles to drink it. Drinking that water will probably give you cholera or some shit since only [[Christian_Weston_Chandler|god]] knows how unhygienic Chris is in jail.
'''Holy Labels''' are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by [[Christian Weston Chandler|Chris]] that he thinks thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. To reiterate, Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get [[Messiah complex|his blessing]]. Chris sends these labels to [[weens|his adoring fans]] and expects them to actually do as he commands. Actually drinking from something covered with Chris's germs is unadvised, given that [[Chris and hygiene|Chris's hygiene]] is most likely abysmal in jail.
 
==Analysis==
==Analysis==


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{{BottleWrapper}}
{{BottleWrapper}}


All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.
All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, [[Women's rights|meant to resemble]] [[China|a human uterus]], in the center.


On the left are the words:
On the left are the words:


{{quote|The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth!}}
{{quote|The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and [[Dimensional Merge|the recombined new Earth]]!}}


And on the right are the words:
And on the right are the words:


{{quote|Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart.}}
{{quote|[[Chris and his ego|Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu,]] [[CPU Blue Heart|the Goddess Blue Heart.]]}}


In [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a letter sent to Kengle]] Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".
In [[Jail Letter - 30 October 2021|a letter sent to Kengle]] Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".

Revision as of 03:17, 6 December 2021

Holy Labels are bottle wrappers featuring illustrations made by Chris that he thinks thinks will bless the drinker and purify the liquid being consumed. To reiterate, Chris believes that, by photocopying his scribbles, laminating them, and placing them around beverages, you will get his blessing. Chris sends these labels to his adoring fans and expects them to actually do as he commands. Actually drinking from something covered with Chris's germs is unadvised, given that Chris's hygiene is most likely abysmal in jail.

Analysis

All of the Holy Labels that have been sent thus far are written like this:

Scrawled on the back of a plastic bottle wrapper:
The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! JailLetter2NewCWCCross.jpeg Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart.

All labels have a drawing of a Sonichu cross, meant to resemble a human uterus, in the center.

On the left are the words:

“ The Joy of Gods, Goddesses, the Heavens, and the recombined new Earth! ”

And on the right are the words:

“ Lord, Messiah & Savior, Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart. ”

In a letter sent to Kengle Chris quotes how to "properly" use his labels, "laminate it, or cover it with shipping tape, attach it to a bottle (mainly for water and NON-ALCOHOLIC Beverages) to enjoy thy liquid consumptions [sic] with my Blessings, safely, from that bottle".

List of Labels Mailed

Front Back Product Date Sent Sent To
KengleCocaColaFront.jpg KengleCocaColaBack.jpg Coca Cola 30 October 2021 Kenneth Englehardt
11.8.21MailFantafront.jpeg 11.8.21MailFantaback.jpeg Grape Fanta 8 November 2021 Stories from the Penitentiary
Jail Letter - 30 November 2021 - part 3.jpg Coca Cola 30 November 2021 Celestia

See Also

v • d • e  
Relics of Fail
Identity
Love Quest
Transgender
Toys
Art
Rage
Fashion
Other
Shrines of Fail
The Holy Fails
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