Fangs
He has them and isn't afraid to show them.
The horror
Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor video quality, Chris's fangs are more likely yellowing as a result of the copious amounts of soda he drinks.[1] The fact that he has multiple visible cavities seems to support this, although Chris could just be far too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside.
Powers
Chris revealed his fangs by essentially jamming the camera in his mouth. For some reason he thinks this is an effective method of intimidating his enemy. It works, but for reasons other than Chris had intended. Close-ups of Chris's face have always caused people to back away in horror. His mouth is no exception. What he intended to demonstrate is uncertain. Perhaps he hoped his tormentors would fear being bitten. Though this scenario has yet to take place, the resulting wound would no doubt get infected and bestow the recipient with a horrifying disease. So in that respect, they are kind of scary. Or would be if he weren't too housebound to use them.
Interestingly enough, Chris doesn't actually appear to have any canine (also called cuspid) teeth (called "eye-teeth" by Chris[2]). Therefore, the whole threat of his fangs are, once again, an enormous failure.
Chris has since upgraded his arsenal to a pocket knife.
Wisdom teeth
Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He keeps them in a jar on top of the Megan Shrine and also made a Yu-Gi-Oh! card with them on it. Being the bizarre narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short story, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a child's card game says a lot about how rarely Chris leaves his house.
Appearances
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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- Captain's Log, Stardate January_8th, 2009: In this video, Chris states he is not afraid to intimidate Gregg Mays with his "fangs." He then leans toward the camera for a close-up of his upper teeth - in particular, his two front teeth.
- Captain's Log, Stardate January_15th, 2009: Chris does not clearly show his "fangs" in this video, but rather mentions how he is prepared to show his "faaannngggsss only when he has to." He starts to lean forward into the camera while presumably baring his teeth (one cannot clearly see the teeth as the video quality is so poor), but he then swings back to his original posture instead of going for a full close-up.
- Sign Destruction Video: On the 6th of December 2009, Chris threatens Vivian Gee by ripping apart a paper sign left in his yard, and then bites his clown's head off with his infected gums. He exposes his yellowed and rotting teeth to the audience, undoubtedly to show off his sugar-encrusted enamel.
Gallery
CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two My Little Ponys on the top shelf.
So...are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or…something?
He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's honest content!
Sources
- ↑ Biological clock
- ↑ Issue 10 Page 18 "I HAVE FANGS FOR MY EYE-TEETH"