Liquid Chris
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PROTIP:
If you're going to call Chris "Ian", do so only in the context of this saga.
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Liquid Chris (born 24 February 1982) is the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu.
Prologue
June 2009 was a busy month for Christian (henceforth Solid Chris), with new highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more and knocking back some Long Islands with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the keys to his shiny new CWCipedia and had his YouTube account "CChanSonichu" compromised. Yes, he was Rollin' and Trollin' indeed.
| “ | And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image. | ” |
| Solid Chris, REAL Protest against the FAKE | ||
Liquid Saga
The Belligerents
A Challenger Appears
- See Also: Liquid's Antebellum Videos
At the end of the month a new YouTube account, CChanSonichuCWC, appeared with a simple premise: that the real Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth Liquid Chris) was back online after a long absence, during which he lost his account to hackers, so all the weirdness on "CChanSonichu" was the work of hacking trolls, and he announced that he was ready to resume posting HONEST content on his new account. This new CWC posted four more videos, much of which were parodies of earlier videos by Solid Chris.
| “ | How else would I get fan art, if I was not the original creator of Sonichu? | ” |
| Liquid Chris, 3 July 2009 | ||
Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
- A paper Sonichu medallion
- A striped shirt (brown)
- Pedo-glasses
- Obesity (by means of a stuffed shirt)
- Autism
which of course made him almost indistinguishable from Solid Chris! Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative--that Solid just ignored them--is far too reasonable to consider.
Ian Brandon Anderson
- Main Article: Ian Brandon Anderson
- See also: The July 10th_Messages
- See also: Rollin' and Trollin'
What really cranked this up to eleven was a chain of events that started with Solid Chris getting his "CChanSonichu" channel back: First, Solid posted a series of videos on 10 July 2009 where he "called out" three trolls by their YouTube handles, and dropped their docs (well, dropped "supposed states of residence"). That resulted in the permanent banhammer for "CChanSonichu."
The next piece fell into place when he posted his Rollin' and Trollin' video on his new YouTube account, "IBAChandler." When it hit Encyclopedia Dramatica, newfags everywhere momentarily lost control of their bowels, thinking they'd been trolled by a grand master. Trolls, however, did what trolls do best: they started riffing on it. Pretty quickly, YouTube comments popped up referring to Solid as "Ian Brandon Anderson." Such was the price of success for Solid's small drop of near win, in his sea of epic fail: he had delivered unto his enemies a weapon that they'd use for months.
Even then, the damage control from that episode alone would probably have kept him from noticing Liquid's videos. Until that is, Liquid raised the stakes in an attempt to get Solid's attention.
CWCivil War Begins
- See Also: Liquid's CWCivil War Videos
The war began on 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a video that reeled Solid in, hook, line and sinker, having sold Sonichu Merchandise with Samantha Thaddeus at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:
| DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "CWCCChanSonichuCWC". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.
Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to Wal-Mart and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars! HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "Julie"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT Wesley Memorial in VIRGINIA. F*** HIM TO HELL![1] |
Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threats on Liquid's YouTube comments:
| The Final Showdown
Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR! I am Calling YOU OUT! 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA BEFORE August 2, 2009. If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me. oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD. But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS. You are a Nerd and a Whimp! Have a good day. |
Even at this point, Solid Chris still may have let this all go, as he was simultaneously getting blackmailed by Jack Thaddeus, who was holding his PSN account to ransom. But as that wound down, Liquid caught Solid's eye again, by picking up on the Ian Brandon Anderson meme:
| Hello, again, Loyal Fans,
It is I again, Christian Weston Chandler. NOT Christopher Christian Weston Chandler as EVERYONE KNOWS I Changed my name FROM Christopher to Christian (PS: That Troll, as Some have now Informed Me, his Real Name is IAN BRANDON ANDERSON). Anyway, I am Working Very Hard on Sonichu 9 and Things may be Progressing Heavily with my new TRUE Gal-Pal Kacey and I. Also, Expect more Announcements of this Developing Caliber in the Future. Stay True. CWC[3] |
The Battleground
More Than A Feeling
- See Also: CWC More Than A Feeling
- See Also: More Than A Feeling THE TRUE VERSION by Christian Weston Chandler (CWC)
For whatever reason, Solid dug up an old video of himself failing at Guitar Hero and dumped it online. Liquid shot back with a TRUE and HONEST rendition on a real guitar.
Spanish Challenge
- Main Article: CWC Update 29 July 2009
More video rage followed, before Solid attempted a cunning plan:
| “ | También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor. | ” |
| Solid Chris, CWC Update 29 July 2009 | ||
The plan backfired when Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese.
SingStar Challenge
- Main article: SingStar_Challenge
| “ | Alright, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge. | ” |
| Solid Chris, SingStar Challenge | ||
And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.
As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
- that he'd finally found a true sweetheart, Kacey.
- that he'd landed a job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at Microsoft for a Sonichu game for all consoles.
- that Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his Sonichu comics, making him even more filthy rich, with the opening of the CWCStore.
And finally, that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parents' house to live in Redmond, Seattle, to continue his happy, successful life.
SHOWDOWN
- Main article: SHOWDOWN: The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE
| “ | You’re breaking my balls here. | ” |
| Solid, SHOWDOWN | ||
On 9 August 2009, Liquid called Solid up and confronted him over the slanderous lies he was telling on YouTube. Solid tried reason, and when that failed, he threatened to arrest Liquid for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.
| If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like [voice cracks] you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN![4] |
Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:
| “ | STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING! | ” |
| Solid Chris, NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!! | ||
Then, he tried reason:
| The Singstar Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the internet knows that I am, he's the imposter. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid damn dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [his voice gets higher] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edge-wise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father![5] |
And as summer disappeared, so too did Liquid Chris: The apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.
Chris's sweetheart, Kacey, was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.
CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo
- Main article: Kacey
Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 October 2009 with a new video explaining the trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.
In the video addressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him "the previous Chris". In a desperate video for Kacey, Solid called him the "other Chris" repeatedly.
When the dust had settled, Solid had offended Kacey's father and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.
Epilogue
Liquid Chris is now married to his beloved heartsweet, Kacey. As the one TRUE and HONEST creator of Sonichu, his artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful boyfriend-free females with his medallions and his Guitar of Win. He makes mad cash by selling said medallions at Otakon and other anime conventions while voicing Solid in Sonichu: The Animated Series.
Irony
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:
It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and the mirror is winning.
In early August 2009[6], Solid began to believe that Liquid couldn't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a retard who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.
In a further fit of irony, Ian ended up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey.
In the Comics
On 17 November, 2009 the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's Sonichu 9. Ian, being the slanderous troll that he is, had the nerve to imply that Liquid's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and once again tried to convince everyone that he, Solid was the TRUE and ORIGINAL creator of Sonichu.
Of course, since the comic is made by the real Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown to him in Sonichu Special 4.
Fan videos
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See also
References
External links
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