KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special

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KCWC Top 10 Dedication Special is a series of videos uploaded on 12 August 2009 , wherein Chris stood in for Jamsta Sonichu as DJ for KCWC, the CWCville radio station. In a special live broadcast from his bedroom, Chris dedicated 10 songs to a number of people in his life.

Part 1: #10

Transcript

[Note: All sound effects are done with Chris's voice.]

[Chris makes some random sound effects while holding the KCWC advertisement from Sonichu 8]

[Normal voice] Yes. Yes yes. Yes, what is it?

[Starts with a squeaky voice, but quickly returns to normal] A man wants to know what to do for info-mation. Why call us, it's on the dial: information. You heard him.

[Lame drum roll] Quiet, we're on the air.

[Pause, then a lame imitation of the NBC chimes, then a cluck]

[Creepily] Hello, everyboooody. We just brought the moon over the mountain.

[Squeaky] Hello ma, hello pa. [The rest is unintelligible.]

[Interrupting himself] Quiet. [Gay voice] Dis broadcast is being brought to you by the courtesy of Bright-o, in six delicious flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, cranberry, strawberry, and raspberry. [Yes, that was only five.]

[Squawks. Squeaky] It's still raspberry. Ehhhhh. Oh no! [Whooping noise] Now get quiet or I'll smack you again. Are you listening? V-v-v-voom v-v-v-voom.

[Drunkenly] Hey gedatta here. [Gay voice] Now don't go away ladies and gentlemen. We will soon be with you. [Really, really gay] Zheeem! Boom. Cuckoo.

[Whispers, barely audibly] Da orrist. [Three chimes.] Boop!

[Crappy opening tune. Sings] It's time to open that radio station. It's that cool radio station. Here it is, station KCWC. And here is your hoooost with the moooost, Jamsta Sonichu

Good evening-good orning guys, gals, dudes of all ages. This is your host, Jamsta Sonichu. Everybody he-here everybody heh. Station KCWC, with my co-host Lolisa Rosechu. But for the moment we will be taking you live to Christian Chandler's bedroom. Take it away, Mr. C.

[Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed]

Thank you Jamsta. Yes this is [takes off glasses] Christian Weston Chandler, birth name Christopher. Born on February 24, 1982. Ri-coming to you live from the house in Ruckersville, Virginia, that reaches from the beaches to the shore. Everdear on everythang KCWC. And today we will be offering a special dedication. It's our top ten dedications to some of the young, inspiring people out there. Uh, even some that may have passed away unfortunately, God rest in peace for those individuals. But anyway, we will be doing our top den dedications.

Originally for #10 we were going to do "Drops of Jupiter" from T-uh, from uh... "Drops of Jupiter" from Train I think it was, for this individual named Max Molvanîa. [Suddenly angry] But you know what this son of a bitch conned me out of Disgaea 3, Street Fighter 4, and Burnout Paradise full game, DLC, between those first two games and whatnot, from the Playstation Network, as stored from me in the first place so [Farting noise] to him... And also impersonated the woman that I th-d-thought for a long time the person was.

Anyway, so instead, we will be doing th-our-for our #10, as for our first inspirational song, we will be doing this dedication for all upcoming young artists of, uh, hand-drawing speculations [makes gesture in the air] or handcrafting or whatever. [Touches medallion] Handcraft. Anyway. Anyway, we will be doing, this is for, like, you know, for all them, as well as any individuals, within any schools - every single school - who I know gets bullied or tortured nadata, as well as those on the internet who get bullied and tortured by the dang internet bullies and trolls. Dis song is for y'all. It's "Dare" from Stan Bush.

[Jump cut to Optimus Prime toy as "Dare" plays. A black wire is lifted past the screen about halfway through for...no discernable reason. Also, we now see where Chris' glasses get thrown to, which is important]

[Jump cut back to Chris. He takes off his glasses]

Ah, yes, Mr. Stan Bush with an inspirational word for us never to let our dreams die. The power's at our command. [Holds up his hand] We hold the future in our hands [points to head] the little voice inside us tellises it's the last round, but we press on anyway.

Anyway, before we move on to song #9, we have to take a brief break for to let the commercials air. First, the word from our sponsor, the "I Love Lucy" show. We love you Lucy O'Ball.

[Holds up KCWC advertisement again. Talks in a falsetto] Hello friends, I'm da Vitameatavegimin[1] girl. Hey ta, run down lislis. Do you wayla parties? Are you popular? Get ya all da brothels in Lucy O'Barno. Vitameatavegimin. Vitameatavegimin contains vitamins, meat, veg-et-ables and minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegimin, you can spun your way to hell. Just take one tablespoon full after every meal. It's so tasty too. Mmm, tastes like candy. So why not join the thousands of happy cappy people and get a big bottle full of Vitameatavegimin tomorrow. That's Vita-meata-vegimin.

Part 2: #9 and #8

Transcript

And! Welcome back to station K-C-W-C! We are the main station of the city of Cwcville, Virginia, reachin' da beaches! We are live and raring to keep on trackin' with everything. During dedications, I'd like to take one brief, brief moment to make a dedication to Mr. R.L. Stine, [holds up Goosebumps novel, turning his head briefly to his right as if to read off a cue card] author of Goosebumps, [pauses, then holds up two Fear Street novels, turning his head again briefly to the right] and the Fear Streets. Thank you mister R.L. Stine, you were an [salutes] inspiration to me through high school. Gave me a few frights as well.

And also thanks to Sarah Bevell, my- one of my high school gal-pals, who gave me a couple of S--your Senior books... uh, I have the other one, but I found this one, but, still good to go.

Anyway, coming in at, uh, #9, we are doing a distance dedication (well, not so distant, 'cause he lives near sa- near the city of Ruckersville or Charlottesville... uh, Dyke, I believe it was). Anyway, we are puttin' out a dedication to Joshua Martinez, followed by one for Vanessa Anne Hudgens. Hey, don't believe his pictures, all the ladies he has on his iPhone: they're from people's Mysp- spaces that he dun even know, so he's lyin' through his ass (and I bet he was lyin' through his ass when, when he told, when, uh, he told me I was talking to Vanessa Hudgens the whole time, uh, even though i-- even though it would have been nice gal-pal and I should have been talkin' to her for REAL, but, but nonetheless, his screenname was used for it every time I talked to supposedly her, if I was him the whole time, whatta dang dirty liar! I don't care if the trolls troll HIM!).

Anyway, our next song is "No Tengo Dinero" from Los Umbrellos (and, by the way, another lie he told me: I checked. [pauses] Vanessa Hudgens was never in Los Umbrellos). So anyway, come in #10, "No Tengo Dinero," followed by (I mean, #9 was "No Tengo Dinero"), followed by #8, "Sneakernight." Thank you, Vanessa, if I had actually been talkin' to you.

["No Tengo Dinero" by Los Umbrellos plays, followed by "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens. Chris has the cover of the Dreamcast title Samba De Amigo in front of the camera. Video ends just as "Sneakernight" ends.]

Part 3: #7

Transcript

And you are list' to Everything Station KCWC! That was, uh, shoot, "Sneakernight" from Vanessa Hudgens. Thank- ladies and gentlemen, coming in on #8 I believe it was? Yeah, #8 on the Top 10 Dedications.

Coming up next at #7, we got another long-distance dedication, to the old gal-pal of mine that I almost had a ra- I had meant to be- I had her "I love you" before I got kicked out, Megan Schroeder, her, from her favorite, this is from her favorite h-artist, Yngwie Malmsteen. Take it away, Mr. Malm.

["Making Love (Extended Guitar Mix)" by Yngwie Malmsteen plays, with Megan's original drawing of Megagi in front of the camera.]

Part 4: #6 and #5

Transcript

Ah yes the old extended guitar mix track I had just for the girl I had that I love you, but unfortunately lost contact with her, she moved away. Lives in another state. I hope you're still safe and well, Megan.

Anyway coming in at number six! A dedication to Mr. born with the name Christian W. Chandler... but he was not the real deal because... in order to be the real deal you ha-you ahh-you cannot, you cannot be the real deal because I am the real deal, born with the-I was born with the name Christopher. So there. He was not he was born as a Christian W Chandler. Anyway this dedication... anyway... You know him as being the impostor who made me pull out my Parappa Hat, and my shirt that I won from the Parappa Contest back in August 2008. Now! The Dedication goes out to him, and his sweetheart Kacey. It's a classic from 'N Sync, so... [points at the camera] quit tearing out my heart, or-and her heart, Christian. Take it away 'N Sync!

[Tearin' Up My Heart" by 'N Sync plays in horrendously low quality. Throughout the song, an image of a brown Sonichu is held in front of the camera. This brown Sonichu was revealed to be the comic counterpart of Liquid Chris on 17 November 2009]

[Jump cut to Chris sitting on his bed, wearing a blue vest and what appears to be a cub scouts bandanna. He turns to face the camera.]

Peace out and how! Just coming to you live from my bedroom on station KCWC. And Quit tearing up our hearts man! Yeah, you're the one that's lying. Heh, you in last video. The dog? [Inhuman falsetto] THE DAAAA! [Normal voice] What the-no, that's-that's just wrong man. That's just wrong.

Anyway! Coming in at number five! It's a dedication to myself but also mainly to my pa-to my... to the on that was at my birth name: Christopher. Christopher Weston Chandler. Before the name change and all, he still lives in me [Removes glasses, leans into camera and points to his left eye]] in my one blue eye. [backs away from the camera, replaces glasses] And in my heart and soul. Cuz he is me, I am him. You don't get that, you're just-this guy.. uh that guy.

[Reaches for Sonic CD box on bed] Anyway coming in at-anyway coming in at number five, oh and also, Neckerchief: I was in the Wolf Scouts. The Wolf Cub Scouts. In the late 1980's Den number four, Red numbers 174. If You find the den mother that ran that-that ran that-that house den thing way back when, tell her Christopher says: [Suddenly angry] Hey. Why'd you kick me out? Because I was autistic you were afraid of me? Yeah. But still, hey.

Anyway, [Holds up Sonic CD case] Sonic Boom from Pastiche! [pronounced "Past-teach-ee"] Cuz it's our common link as our hero, even before Sonic The Hedgehog came around, it was the American Rabbit, and that one movie. Anyway, let's get rocking. Oh and also, the Cub Scouts, [Does a salute of sorts] that's where I learned to salute like this! So, the further salute... to Christopher. As he still lives on in me. Let's get Boomin'!

[The end credits version of "Sonic Boom" by Pastiche plays in the background with terrible audio quality. The Case for Sonic CD is held up to the camera throughout.]

Part 5: #4

The picture shown during the song is a hand-drawn portrait of Sarah Jackson

Transcript

Image from the video dedicated to Sarah Jackson.

Ah, yes the p--classic from the Sonic series, and Pas-tee-chee that continues to be a [raises finger] BIIIG number one hit in the city of CWCVille, Virginia, and the heart of me, Christopher Christian Weston Chandler [touches left manboob]. YOU are listening to every-thing station: KCWC. Before we continue with the de--uh, dedication list I just would like to, uh, bring out that, uh, like you to know... from a friend of mine, uh, she, uh recommended ah White Stripes unformanute--unfortunately we do not have any tracks of them at the moment, but as soon--but as soon we download some, uh y'know, we'll put in there during twelve o'clock, like everything lunch hour, ...Heh... on this radio station that "Reaches the Beaches", and uh, you know, she's also helped me out as well in the past, ah you know for uh more recent events...

And, uh also, just another dog-gone note - [holds up Starscream toy] OXYSTAR-SCREEA--UH, OXY-StarsSclean: "OxyStarsSclean", AKA Oxycleanfanatic2264 Your friend has left you. Now you can go rot with Megatron! [throws Starscream toy on the floor].

Anyway, coming in at number 4 on the Top Ten dedication: the heart of mine [removes glasses] --m-my heart goes out to... da, fi--the, uh, final --the 3 girls that top that-- that I'll mention, uh, here in this conte-- ah in the final four. Firstly, Ms. Sarah Jackson. (That may be no accident??) she was as tough as a bear. And she was a very good woman. And she was a true friend. Among the gal pals I've talke-- I've made, and talked to on the Internet... [shrill voice] UNLIKE BLANCA WEISS WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A TROOOOLL. Anyway, uh--r, anyway, Rita I know is a family member, i-if y-you are waching this: her hear--y'all smiles, and hers, still has a place in my heart. Just like all my Gal Pals... in my past, and everywhere. Their smiles still have a place in my heart. So, anyway, from the track that she picked out for me just before she passed-- [Big ol' empty sigh] take it away: REO Speedwagon...

AND she was also the teacher in the Sex-Ed class in that episode... I'm sorry, DATING EDUCATION class.

[REO Speedwagon takes it away with "Can't Fight this Feeling" on KCWC]

Part 6: #3

Transcript

You are listening to Everything Station KCWC.

Coming in at #3 for our Top 10 Dedications, a friend- sweet friend of mine- good friend of my sweet, my doomed sweetest Ivy O'Neil, Sen-Chan (I dare not reveal her real name), but anyway, she has been a good friend of her, her [??] the days and she's be-uh, she has been good to me as well. So anyway, based upon her suggestion and, uh, request, here's a classic, here's a good one from Britney Spears, "Heaven on Earth."

["Heaven on Earth" by Britney Spears plays. The picture shown is a drawing of a Meowth based fan character who was previously featured in the Wedding Comic (where her name was revealed to be Lilith).]

Part 7: #2

Transcript

[Song "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler plays. A picture of Chris and Ivy from Sonichu Special 1 is in front of the camera.]

[Picture disappears, leaving us looking at Chris's face with his eyes bulging out] Ahhh, yes. Coming in at #2, that was Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For a Hero," dedicated to my sweetest Ivy O'Neil. It was a fool of my father, tricked me into believing him, and my detective not finding her father in any of the police records. (Shoot.) [Sighs.] My heart still, has a place for your smile, Ivy. Please come back. But, you know, I'll move on, still, but, you know, it'd be nice if you'd come back one day.

Anyway, now, after the commercial break, we'll talk about s-, we'll talk about #1 on the hit dedication charts, right here on station KCWC!

Part 8: #1

Transcript

And welcome back to Everything Station KCWC in [removes glasses] Cwcville, Virginia. Anyway, coming in at number one on the Top Ten Dedication…is inspirational. Comes from the hear - eh - which was sung by the uh galpal I talked to all the way from Australia, PandaHalo, inspire - [holds up PandaHalo art] drew the original fan art that's gonna be da cover of book number 10. Also somebody else drew fanart that was gonna be book for uh - book - eh- the next book after that, season - for the - season premiere. Anyway. Anyway, this goes out to uh her, may she rest in peace even though she burned once in those brush fires.

Here is [whispers dramatically] "Lift Up Your Eyes" from The Planetshakers [regular voice] on Everything Station KCWC and after the song's over I'm gonna hand everything back to Jamsta Sonichu. Have a safe day.

[The song plays, while Chris shows the cover of Sonichu 10]

[As song begins] She also had quite the lovely voice when she sang it for me as well.

References

  1. A reference to the "I Love Lucy" episode Lucy Does a TV Commercial, Chris's favorite "I Love Lucy" episode.