Slow-in-the-minds

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Sonichu is also a slow-in-the-mind

"Slow-in-the-minds" and "slow minded" are CWC-isms that refer to mentally retarded, crazy, and/or generally stupid people. (Other than Chris himself, of course.) The term was first seen in Chris's school project "A Week With Christian Chandler."

"Slow-in-the-minds" hits a fine trifecta of points. One, it displays Chris's arrogance, seeing as how it applies to so many classes of people, all of whom he considers "slower" than he. Two, it shows Chris's lip-service attention to fitting in to society, since it's a piss-poor euphemism on its own and even worse when used in a school project. Three, there's a delicious irony in Chris decrying students who are "slow in the mind", even though his own mental aptitude is dubious.

In a number of responses from the Mailbag, Chris has explained that he finds the mentally handicapped (especially those who also have physical deformities) creepy, and likens them to zombies. Chris's bigotry extends to his fellow autistics — he speaks in incredibly cruel and derisive terms about the various mental and physical problems that are thrust upon these innocent individuals, whereas he (as a self-proclaimed "high-functioning" autistic) is pure and clean.

Disgustingly, he barely seems to consider "lower-functioning" autistics human, yet in the article on Aspergers on the CWCipedia, he claims to be a spokesperson for TRUE and HONEST autistics, making a stand against the "competing retards". However, it can be noted he was using it as a vehicle for making himself look good whilst BAWing about why he should be receiving the care and attention that those with Aspergers apparently receive. Because of this, it still comes off as another reason why he is generally regarded, even by those who share his conditions, as a vulgar embarrassment to those in the Autism Spectrum.

Uses by Chris

Chris's use of this term has evolved over the years. Early on, he pointedly distinguished between the "slow-minded" and himself. In late 2009 and onward, however, he began referring to himself as "a little slow" or "sometimes slow," once he discovered he could use it as an excuse for his many failings.

• Chris's high-school assignment A Week With Christian Chandler includes the earliest known use of "slow-in-the-minds."
• Sub-Episode 6, when exploring the ecology of the Jerkop, notes that "slow-minded people" are susceptible to becoming Mary Lee Walsh's rent-a-cop slaves. (Chris adds that because he is, of course, not slow in the mind, he is immune to the "hypno-gun" that brainwashes the Jerkops.)
• Chris Chan's Public Announcement features, among other things, Chris attempting to correct the "misconception" that he is a "slow-minded person."
• In a December 2008 IRC chat, when asked to give an example of learning from his mistakes, Chris said, "when it was spelled out for me that a sign by my side made me look slow-minded, when clearly I am not."
• Chris mentions the same incident in a 2007 e-mail to his old schoolteacher Virginia Sanford: "I've later realized that it made me look slow-minded; the 'R' Word."
• Conversing with his "fans" in Mumble 8, Chris claimed, "For the record, I'm not- I'm not slow in the mind."
• While mocking a (legitimately retarded) fan of his on YouTube, Chris said, "You’re so naïve and slow in the mind."
• During the Father Call, Chris says, "I'll admit I have had some slow-minded moments."
• In his CWCipedia article on Asperger's syndrome, Chris admits that "my mentality is sometimes slow."
• While begging off from some of the difficult questions he faced in Alec Benson Leary Phone Call 9, Chris whines about how "Sometimes my mind's a little slow."
• In Jackie Chat 8, Chris admits that "I sometimes feel mentally slow."
• Likewise, in a July 2010 e-mail to Jackie, he says "I am sometimes mentally slow and don't get all of the details at once and such." This becomes a recurring theme in Chris's conversations with Jackie, as he repeatedly tries to use his "slow-mindedness" as an excuse. The 20th collection of e-mails has a few good examples.
• Talking about his high-school days in the Lars Call, Chris says "Yeah, I got pretty much tormented for my autism and considerable slow-mindedness, that has happened to me before."

See also

• Chris-chan (forum)
• Chris and hypocrisy
• Jackie Chat 9, where Chris discusses his experiences on the short bus.