Chris's Big Night Out
On 12 June 2009, Chris visited a local bar/restaurant, where he encountered a pair of fans who recorded and uploaded clips of their time spent with Chris to YouTube. This event has been referred to as Chris's Big Night Out.
Grip 'n' Sip
In first video, Chris broke his 27-year period of abstaining from alcohol and had a sip (and then two fucking glasses) of Long Island Iced Tea. Chris reportedly tried the drink because he saw Marge Simpson try it in an episode of The Simpsons, and because it didn't sound like a very alcoholic drink. Note that, when he swallows the drink, he performs the same reaction as when he swallows his navy.
| “ | Mmm! Goes down salty. | ” |
Transcript
Girl: So… so what do you have right now, Chris?
Chris: Long Island Iced Tea.
Guy: Say that one more time?
Chris: Long Island Iced Tea.
Guy: Alright… rock it!
Girl: Okay!
[Chris shuts his eyes and takes a tiny sip]
Girl: What do you think of it?
[Chris swallows the sip with some difficulty]
Chris: Mmm! Goes down salty.
Girl: Kinda salty?
Chris: Yeah… but it's pretty tasty.
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Rock on! Alright!
Girl: So… look excited!
[Chris smiles almost imperceptibly]
Girl: [laughs] You don't look very excited!
Guy: No, “excited”—no, “excited”—“Excited” is—
Chris Loves The Nightlife
In another notable video, Chris dances around and sings "I Love the Nightlife" like a retard. While it's not surprising that Chris still thinks he can sing, it's shocking that he visited a club, since he's said before that he would never do such a thing.
It should come as no surprise to anyone—except perhaps Chris—that "I Love the Nightlife" is a song with a large gay following. Long-time trolls will notice that Chris made use of this same song during his CWC only accepts IN-PERSON FEMALE Encounters video. It should be noted that this song was also featured in several episodes of The Simpsons, like the Long Island Iced Tea he drank during the course of the evening.
| “ | I love the nightlife! I've got to boogie! | ” |
Transcript
[Chris sings all of “I Love the Nightlife”, his voice sporadically cracking and his arms periodically flailing]
DJ: Ah, yes, indeed! Christopher!
Sonichu Rocks!
| “ | Sonichu's still rockin' in my head! | ” |
Transcript
Chris: Sonichu's still rockin' in my head!
Girl: [laughs]
Chris's Big Black Balloon
| “ | Like a balloon! | ” |
Transcript
Girl: [presumably to Chris] —right now.
Chris: Like a balloon!
Girl: [laughs]
Guy: [to Chris] Y'all catch a balloon fish?
Man in background: Whoop! Whoop!
Guy: [to a passing bro] Hey, dude—check it out! He got a fish!
Bro: Oh.
Girl: [laughs again]
Chris and His PSP
| “ | You get to see two naked ladies. | ” |
Transcript
Chris: I was, uh… of the winning videos in the Parappa the Rapper Contest, when they came out with the PSP version of that game.
[awkward silence]
Girl: Smile!
[Chris smiles weakly]
Girl: [laughs]
Guy: What about the—and explain the—explain the omega one again?
Chris: Got it with the, uh, pre-release demo disc of… God of War: Chains of Olympus.
Girl: Do you like that game?
Chris: Yeah! It was fun. I completed it.
Girl: Ohhh.
Chris: And especially, y’know, there's a fun part in the beginning, and, uh, you get to see two naked ladies, and… Kratos basically has sex with them, but it shoots off-screen—
Girl: Two naked ladies? [laughs]
Chris: —and then, like, it shakes all over the place!
Guy: I tell ya: a game—
| ⇐ Captain's Log, Stardate May 22nd, 2009 | Chris's videos | Don't Trust Any Homos Over There ⇒ |
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