Difference between revisions of "Duck"
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'''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> that it is an intentional euphemism. | '''Duck''' is a [[CWC-ism]] for penis, usually in the context of [[Chris]]'s own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and [[Silvana|those of Rosechus]], are [[pickles]].) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 [[February 2009]] [[Mumble]] chat<ref>[[Mumble 8]]</ref> that it is an intentional euphemism. | ||
Chris's penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way."{{cite}} Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him. | Chris's penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way."{{cite}} Some speculate that Chris has [[Wikipedia:Peyronie's disease|Peyronie's disease]], or he did it to himself by [[mass debating]] improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a [[Wikipedia:Fractured penis|fractured penis]]. In any case, [[sex]] would be a painful experience for him. | ||
Chris | ==Chris and penis size== | ||
Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long<ref>[[Chris humps his PS3]]</ref>. This appears highly unlikely, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with [[Wikipedia:ExtenZe|ExtenZe]], a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.<ref>[[IRC (03 January 2009)]]</ref> | |||
Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything. | Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything. | ||
Chris at least understands that his | Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an [[:File:Evan_responds_to_his_death.png|e-mail]] to [[Evan]] during their feud over [[Simonla Rosechu]], he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you." | ||
Toward the very end of his [[Jackie E-mails 23|communications with Jackie]], Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. | |||
Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin. | Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin. | ||
==References by Chris== | ==References by Chris== | ||
Revision as of 17:54, 10 December 2010
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| “ | ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp. | ” |
| Chris, on his duck.[1] | ||
| “ | MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!! | ” |
| Chris, I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts | ||
Duck is a CWC-ism for penis, usually in the context of Chris's own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and those of Rosechus, are pickles.) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 February 2009 Mumble chat[2] that it is an intentional euphemism.
Chris's penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle. When asked why it is bent, he replied, "it's been that way."[citation needed] Some speculate that Chris has Peyronie's disease, or he did it to himself by mass debating improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a fractured penis. In any case, sex would be a painful experience for him.
Chris and penis size
Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long[3]. This appears highly unlikely, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with ExtenZe, a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.[4]
Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.
Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and apparently regrets this fact. In an e-mail to Evan during their feud over Simonla Rosechu, he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."
Toward the very end of his communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader.
Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.
References by Chris
- One of the annotations from I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts is "MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!"
- In his final SingStar Challenge song, "Smell Yo Dick" (as chosen by CChanSonichuCWC), he attempts to circumvent his own rules about not changing lyrics by saying duck instead of dick.
- Chris occasionally forgoes substituting the word "duck" for "dick" when he is talking dirty with a gal-pal (such as in one of the Kacey chats) or angry (in one of the White Knight emails, he referred to how trolls made fanart featuring Rosechu with "an UNNATURAL, UNREQUIRED, DISGUSTING, DICK!!!!!!!")
- In an IRC chat from October 2008, Chris said, concerning Jimmy Hill, "I hope he loses his duck." This is an unusual example of Chris using "duck" to refer to a penis not his own.