Pocket knife
Chris's pocket knife, given to him by the powers that be, is his newest means of threatening the trolls and anyone else who stands in the way of true love. It is a small, multi-bladed "Swiss Army"-style tool, first seen in videos from early March 2010.
Exactly why Chris believes that anyone would be intimidated by a penknife is a question for the ages.
Why Chris chose to get a knife is also a mystery, but it's likely a combination of the fact that the state of Virginia has the very good judgment to not allow people with the history that Chris has to purchase a firearm, and because it was cheaper and easier to get than a gun that didn't turn into a robot. It is interesting to note that a knife was the weapon of choice for Liquid in Sonichu Special 4. The irony is probably lost on Chris.
Use of knife
In Don't Mess With Me, after Chris gets the invisible Clyde Cash in a headlock, he tries to take the knife out of his pocket, succeeding only on the second attempt. After fiddling with it for a good three seconds, he manages to get the blade out. He then uses it to slit Clyde's imaginary throat.
In Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots!, he brings it out again. After fiddling with it for a good eight seconds in a futile attempt to fold out the main cutting blade, he gives up and proceeds to effortlessly take out the corkscrew tool, using it to threaten his new foe Surfshack Tito.
Chris believes this knife is the cure to all his troll problems. In his threats to this very CWCki, delivered on 14 March 2010, he claimed that "he is armed," evidently in reference to his newfound weapon. Obviously, Chris is overestimating the power of the blade and his competence with it were he to actually use it in a fight, as the mere act of opening it would give even the slowest opponent ample time to kick him in the pickle. Not only that, he'd have to travel all around the world to find every major member.
There's also the issue that anyone smarter than Chris (read: everyone) is likely able to disarm an obese, laughably inept manchild with a pen knife. Or, you know, the fact that some members of the CWCki have their own weapons, thus meaning that if he tried this, Chris could very well end up getting a load of birdshot in his duck, or facing the business side of a full-length katana.
Spotted in
See also
- Fangs: Chris's previous weapon used to menace trolls.
- Megatron Pistol: Chris's other previous weapon used to menace trolls.
- Cutco: The makers of mediocre, yet more intimidating knives.
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