From CWCki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The fans of Christian Weston Chandler love to mail Chris using the names of famous individuals, both real and fictional. Chris only seems to realize that he's heard of these people before if they repeatedly mention who they are and what they've done in the body of their letter. For example, Chris noticed and called out Eddie Berganza and Stephen King because they repeatedly mentioned who they were and specifically what they did in their lives. Likewise, Chris failed to notice people like Trent Reznor and Leonardo Da Vinci because the letters did not repeatedly reinforce that they were written by someone important. A more generous interpretation would be that he assumed the names to be internet pen names and left it at that, but it's more likely he didn't notice at all.

The list

Mailbag 1

Mailbag 2

  • Brigitte Bardot: A French woman identifying as "Emmanuelle Bardot" sends Chris an image of herself and an edited version of said image in which she is made to look like Rosechu. The actual photo is of French actress/model Brigitte Bardot and was taken during the filming of Viva Maria! [1]
  • Laura Winslow: The daughter from the TV series Family Matters.
  • Ivan Drago: Rocky's opponent from Rocky IV.

Mailbag 3

  • Manuel Noriega: Deposed dictatorial leader of Panama.
  • While no names are mentioned, one letter speaks of a boy who dropped out of school at 16, was a terrible painter, and had started making political moves with an extreme ideology, essentially a quick summary of Adolf Hitler's early years.
  • A homosexual man tells Chris he's considering undergoing a sex change operation and assuming the name Stacy Ann Ferguson afterwards.
  • George Custer: American Army Officer who battled Native Americans in the wild west. Also raided Charlottesville during the Civil War at the Battle of Rio Hill.

Mailbag 4

Mailbag 5

Mailbag 6

  • Levi Johnston: The guy who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter.
  • Kim Jong Un: Third son of Kim Jong-Il, the former Supreme Leader of North Korea.
  • John Gacy: A gay serial murderer known as the "Killer Clown".

Mailbag 7

Mailbag 8

Mailbag 9

  • Walter Sobchak: John Goodman's character in the movie The Big Lebowski. Goodman himself is mentioned in the body of the email.
  • Horst Wessel: Slain activist made into an icon of the Nazi Party.
  • Trent Reznor: The composer and writer of all of Nine Inch Nails' music.
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Then current president of Iran.

Mailbag 10

Mailbag 11

Mailbag 12

Mailbag 13

Mailbag 14

Mailbag 15

Mailbag 16

  • Ron Jeremy: Porn star.
  • Rembrandt Brown: Fictional singer from the TV show Sliders. His e-mail address, "Crying Man," refers to his nickname within the show.

Mailbag 17

Mailbag 18

  • Repeat appearance by Joseph Jackson.
  • Edward Gein: Insane murderer and grave robber, inspired The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Psycho and the Buffalo Bill character in The Silence of the Lambs.
  • Wormwood: Apprentice demon from C.S. Lewis's novel The Screwtape Letters. Screwtape himself, Wormwood's uncle and mentor, is mentioned, referred to as "Mr. Tape".
  • Maria Renard: A character in several Castlevania games.

Mailbag 19

  • Marilyn vos Savant: Held the Guinness world record for Highest IQ until that record was retired.
  • Light Yagami: Mass-murdering main character of Death Note. His name is written weeaboo style as "Yagami Raito".
  • Fiendish Dr. Wu: Antagonist and kung fu master from Black Dynamite.

Mailbag 20

  • While not written by any specific character, a direct reference to Strong Bad.
  • Corey Matthews: Main character of Boy Meets World.
  • Bruce Lee: Martial artist and actor, written under his Chinese name "Lee Jun Fan".

Mailbag 21

Mailbag 22

Mailbag 23

Mailbag 24

  • Liz Borden: Boston woman famously accused of murdering her father and stepmother with an axe, but never convicted.
  • Vivian Ward: Main character of the movie Pretty Woman.
  • Zetsubou-sensei: Main character of the manga Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei.
  • Wolverine: Marvel Comics superhero, written under his real name "Logan".
  • Magneto: Marvel Comics supervillain, written under the name "Max Eisenhardt".

Mailbag 25

Mailbag 26

  • Trevor Wierzbowski: Minor character from the movie Aliens.
  • Stephen King: Famed horror author. Chris actually noticed this one, probably because the writer of the letter was too blatant.
  • Christopher Brown: R&B singer. His letter is written about his then-Rihanna, and how he beat the hell out of her.

Mailbag 27

  • Ted Kennedy: Politician, recently deceased. Wrote about Mary Jo Kopechne, the girl who died next to him in the infamous Chappaquiddick car accident.
  • John Calvin: Christian philosopher whose ideas about predestination have shaped much of Protestantism.
  • Jack Harkness: Character from Doctor Who and its spinoff, Torchwood (referred to by the email handle)
  • Randal Graves: Character from Kevin Smith's movies.
  • David Vanian: Lead singer for the punk rock band The Damned.
  • And Linetrap again.

Mailbag 28

Mailbag 29

  • Herr Feldgrau: This enthusiastically racist correspondent is named after the color of German army uniforms during World War II: "feldgrau" is German for "field gray."
  • Reprint of Eddie Berganza's letter. While it's likely Chris has no idea who this is, he called him out on his identity, probably because the letter made a very big deal out of his career.

Mailbag 30

  • Meg Griffin: Character from Family Guy. Chris noticed and played along as the author was playing up his proposed Family Guy script.
  • Jim Lee: Comic artist.
  • Stan: Character from the Eminem song of the same name. Text of the letter was the first verse of said song, altered to apply to Chris.

Mailbag 31

  • Michael Jackson: Deceased American pop singer, famously accused of child molestation, but never convicted.
  • Repeat appearance by Stephen King. Chris either refused to respond or forgot.
  • Rufus Shinra: Character from the video game Final Fantasy VII.

Mailbag 32

  • While not using any character's name, one author's name and e-mail address were a reference to the Dethtroll episode of Metalocalypse.
  • H. P. Lovecraft: Author, creator of the cosmic horror genre of literature.
  • Jane Austen: Author of Pride and Prejudice and other romantic novels. Humorously, Chris accused her of being uncreative.

Mailbag 33

Mailbag 34

Mailbag 35

Mailbag 36

  • Kevin Mitnick: Renowned '80s computer hacker.
  • Repeat appearance by Ron Jeremy, this time claiming to be a clergyman.

Mailbag 37

Mailbag 38

Mailbag 39

  • Another repeat appearance by Michael Jackson.
  • Gendo Ikari: Character from the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion.
  • Chang Yu-sheng: Late Chinese vocalist.
  • Arle Nadja: Protagonist of the Puyo Puyo video games.
  • Vidkun Quisling: Norwegian politician, attempted to seize power during WWII and was subsequently executed for treason.
  • Mr. Magoo: Legally blind cartoon character.

Mailbag 40

  • Blake: Black Sonichu. Not "famous", but Chris completely missed it anyways.
  • Repeat appearance by Ron Jeremy.

Mailbag 41

Mailbag 42

  • Augustus Hill: Character from the TV series Oz.
  • Jazz Hoyt: Another character from Oz.
  • Randam Hajile: Character from the video game Snatcher.
  • John Williams: Composer of film soundtracks.
  • Robert Paulson: Character from the movie Fight Club. The only reference to his full name was in his e-mail address.
  • Tomás de Torquemada: Leader of the Spanish Inquisition. Written under the name "Thomas Torquemada".
  • Kareem Saïd: Yet another character from Oz. Written under the name "Kareem Siad".

Mailbag 43

Mailbag 44

  • Max Cady:Character from the novel The Executioners, adapted for the movies as Cape Fear.
  • Trevor McFur: Furry from Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy, a launch game for the Atari Jaguar game console.
  • Repeat appearance by Randam Hajile.

Mailbag 45

  • Mike Hawke: Dick joke commonly used in prank calls.
  • Another appearance from Mike Jackson, whose life is rapidly deteriorating.
  • Billy MC: YouTube Let's Player, often associated with McDonald's food. The email exploits this for all it's worth.
  • Manfred Eicher: German record producer.
  • Gil Gerard: Actor, most famously known for playing Buck Rogers.
  • Adam Savage: Co-host of Mythbusters. Chris likely noticed, as the e-mail made a big deal out of him being from Mythbusters, and then sent him a picture of a man's asshole.

Mailbag 46

  • Kevin Peter Hall: Actor, the man in the alien suit in the first two Predator films.
  • Tom Green: Either a terrible comedian or an avant-garde genius, depending on whom you ask.

Mailbag 47

Mailbag 48

  • Jeff Gerstmann: Video game journalist, notorious for his firing from GameSpot.
  • Mike Jackson returns, all bummed out that Chris broke his promise.
  • Morris Stanley: Ray Winstone's character in the Aussie Western film The Proposition. Unlike in the film, the proposition made in the email revolved around Chris's petty rivalry with Asperchu, since Chris would have little interest in saving his brother from being hanged.
  • Billy Herrington: Bisexual porn star, the inspiration for many strange memes among Japanese internet communities. His e-mail handle, "Bro Aniki," is a reference to the Cho Aniki video game series, which is rife with homosexual innuendo.

Mailbag 49

Mailbag 50

  • Nothing. No actual e-mails either, because Chris copypasta'd a bunch of sarcastic forum posts that pretended to kiss his ass and took them all at face value.

Mailbag 51

  • Repeat appearance by Gil Gerard.
  • The Notorious B.I.G.: Deceased rapper, written under his nickname "Biggie".
  • Scott Bernard: Character from the cartoon series Robotech.
  • While it did not refer to any single character, one name and e-mail address was a direct reference to mahvel baybee.

Mailbag 52

  • Lisa Marie Presley: As "Marie Jackson" revealing the tragic ending of the Mike Jackson saga. In a bizarre inversion, Chris assumes the letter is about the real Michael Jackson, and ignores it.

Mailbag 53

  • Chris Doyle: Award-winning Australian cinematographer.
  • Jack Marsh: Renowned Australian cricketer.
  • Dr. Tran: Star of an old YouTube meme.
  • Robert Fisher: One of FBI's most-wanted fugitive who murdered his family in 2001.
  • Frank Burns: A character from the movie and TV series M*A*S*H.

Mailbag 54

  • David Wright: New York Mets All-Star third baseman.
  • Robert Neville: Hero of the novel and film I Am Legend. Has been played by Charlton Heston, Vincent Price, and Will Smith.
  • Michael Steele: Chairman of the Republican National Committee (openly identified as such).
  • Repeat appearance by Gendo Ikari, now using the e-mail handle "It's Gendo" (in reference to a fan-parody video).

Mailbag 55

Mailbag 56

  • Crow Servo: Amalgam of the characters Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo from the TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000.
  • Another e-mail in the Mike Jackson saga, this time allegedly from his son.
  • Repeat appearances by Robert Neville and Dr. Tran.

Mailbag 57

Mailbag 58

Mailbag 59

  • Paul Hogan: Australian actor, star of the Crocodile Dundee films.

Mailbag 60

  • Terry Bogard: Hero of the Fatal Fury video games, who writes using his full name Terrence Bogard. Perhaps coincidentally, another correspondent the the same mailbag uses the nickname "Big Bear," which was also the name of a minor character from Fatal Fury 2.

Mailbag 61