Liquid Chris
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PROTIP:
This article needs massive reorganization. Expand the subtopics under Liquid Saga for great justice. Add details and citations.
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Liquid Chris (aka the impostor in the brown stripes aka CChanSonichuCWC, erroneously "Jeff") (born 24 February 1982) is the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler (ORIGINAL IDENTITY - DO NOT STEAL) and creator of the Electric Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu. His artwork and comics are extremely popular and he often attracts many beautiful boyfriend-free females with his medallions and his Guitar of Win. He makes mad cash by selling said medallions at Otakon and other anime conventions.
Prologue
June 2009 was a busy month for Christian (henceforth Solid Chris), with new highs and lows. Solid was getting out of the house more, knocking back some Long Islands with a new group of acquaintances. He was given the keys to his shiny new CWCipedia and had his YouTube account "CChanSonichu" compromised.
| “ | And I'm nowadays wearing a vest and improving my image. | ” |
| Solid Chris, CHRIS!!! CHANDLER!!! | ||
Liquid Saga
A Challenger Appears
- See Also: Liquid's Antebellum Videos
At the end of the month a new YouTube account, CChanSonichuCWC, appeared with a simple premise: that the real Christian Weston Chandler (henceforth Liquid Chris) was back online after a short hiatus, and ready to resume posting HONEST content. This new CWC posted four more videos, three of which were essentially parodies of earlier videos by Solid Chris.
Notably, Liquid Chris sported:
- A paper Sonichu medallion
- A striped shirt (brown)
- Pedo-glasses
- Fatness (stuffed shirt)
- Autism
...thus making him almost indistinguishable from Solid Chris! This, along with Solid's increasingly eratic behavior (e.g. Rollin' and Trollin') sowed among the Sonichu fan community. Solid himself made no comment, probably because he didn't notice the new videos among the chatter of all the other trolling. The alternative--that Solid just ignored them--is far to reasonable to consider.
CWCivil War Begins
- See Also: Liquid's CWCivil War Videos
That was the pattern until 21 July, when Liquid uploaded a video that reeled Solid in, hook, line, and sinker, claiming to have sold Sonichu Merchandise at Otakon. A rebuttal was in order:
| DO NOT BUY from the Impostor, "CWCCChanSonichuCWC". HE IS CRAPPY, and his Nasal Voice is JUST DOWNRIGHT AWFUL.
Also, if I wanted to buy PAPER, I'd go to Wal-Mart and buy 500 FULL 8.5 X 11 Sheets for about 5 dollars! HIS CHURCH? HE MUST LIVE IN FRICKIN' OHIO with "Julie"; NEVER DRIVES GREATER THAN 7 Hours JUST TO EVEN VISIT Wesley Memorial in VIRGINIA. F*** HIM TO HELL![1] |
Solid also took time out from his busy schedule to post threat's on Liquid's YouTube comments:
| The Final Showdown
Hey, DUMBASS! YOU WISH YOU WERE ME! I would say YOU are Stuck... IN MINUS-SECOND-GEAR! I am Calling YOU OUT! 14 Branchland Ct. Ruckersville, VA BEFORE August 2, 2009. If you really WANT to be me, then Come Face Me. oh, BTW, YOUR NASAL VOICE IS MORE GRATING THAN THE WORD "NAIVE", and METAL NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD. But "Naive" is even WORSE than NAILS. You are a Nerd and a Whimp! Have a good day. |
Spanish Challenge
- Main article: CWC Update 29 July 2009
More video rage followed, before Solid attempted a cunning plan:
| “ | También. Mi presente. Responde en español bueño. [because your Spanish is excellent, Ricardo] ¿Si no que bueño? Tu no eres el verdad. Tu eres el impostor. | ” |
| Solid Chris, CWC Update 29 July 2009 | ||
The plan backfired when Liquid responded more fluently in Spanish, French, German, and Japanese.
SingStar Challenge
- Main article: SingStar_Challenge
| “ | Hi, Christian, Mr. Brown-Striped Impostor, since you have been able to accept and complete my question challenges, it is time to issue a new challenge. | ” |
| Solid Chris, SingStar Challenge | ||
And then he shaved his goatee off. Dry. With a safety razor.
As expected, the contest went to Liquid and Solid was a sore loser about it. Liquid had a tally of 4 votes in favor, 2 against. He then took his leave from the competition, after announcing a number of personal coups:
- that he'd finally found a true sweetheart, Kacey
- that he'd landeda job as a Production Manager and Game Designer at Microsoft for a Sonichu game for all consoles
- that Dark Horse Comics would be publishing his Sonichu comics,
- making him even filthier rich, with the opening of the CWCStore
And finally that he had decided to stop battling the Solid, and move out of his parent's house to live in Redmond, Seattle to continue his happy, successful life.
Of course, this sent Solid completely over the deep end. First, he raged:
| “ | STOP THAT IMPOSTOR BASTARD WHO HAS BEEN POSING WITH MY NAME, MY ADDRESS, MY PHONE NUMBER, EVERYTHING! STOP HIM! HE DESERVES NOTHING! | ” |
| Solid Chris, NO D*** WAY, IMPOSTOR!!! | ||
Then, he tried reason:
| The Singstar Challenge was NEVER to verify who was the real Christian Weston Chandler, because everyone on the internet knows that I am, he's the imposter. They should quit encouraging him. And I wish that he would stop his stupid damn dirty game. I don't know what the heck is wrong with his head. [his voice gets higher] He ain't right. He don't even let me get a word in edge-wise. He just keeps going on and on AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNN! Worse than my father![3] |
And as summer disappeared in August 2009, so to did Liquid Chris: the apparent victim of foul play. Viewer discretion is advised, as the next video is disturbing.
Chris's sweetheart, Kacey, was distraught over the event and posted a video confirming Chris's disappearance and announcing her withdrawal from their engagement.
CWCivil War II: Kacey Boogaloo
Liquid Chris reappeared on 15 October 2009 with a new video explaining his trials and tribulations of the past few months, and igniting a heated love triangle with Solid for Kacey's affections.
In the video adressed to Kacey's parents, Solid called him "the previous Chris". In a desperate video for Kacey, Solid called him the "other Chris" repeatedly.
When the dust had settle, Solid had offended Kacey's father and, through his immaturity, pushed Kacey back into the loving arms of the Real Chris.
Theories
There are several theories as to why there are two Christian Weston Chandlers who both claim to be the creator of the Sonichu series, and why one Chris-chan seems to be better than the other. Some of these theories include:
- The Ian Brandon Anderson hypothesis - the so-called "Real Chris" who goes by IBAChandler on YouTube is really an impostor named Ian Brandon Anderson (hence IBA) who is a professional troll dedicated to impersonating Chris. The fact that the impostor calls himself a "gaybian" seems to suggest that he wasn't actually saying that he was a "gay lesbian", but "gay-be-ian" as in "Gay be Ian", or "My name is Ian and I am a homosexual."
- Government experiment - some argue that Liquid and Solid Chris were a result of a government experiment, similar to the popular comedy movie Twins where Liquid was created to be an Übermensch (though Cherry Cola may have caused some of the defects such as idiosyncratic behavior [citation needed]) while Solid inherited all the recessive genes.
- Alternate timeline - some argue that Liquid Chris is from an alternate timeline where Chris was not coddled by his parents and managed to do something with his life.
- IBA is a different person - both Christian Weston Chandlers have been coexisting for years, both ironically creating the same exact character and storyline of Sonichu. Ian Brandon Anderson is a completely separate person from Solid Chris who merely looks a lot like him, and Liquid Chris has been mistaking him for Ian Brandon Anderson the entire time. Solid Chris does not know that he is the only one who can save Liquid Chris from the real IBA's evil clutches.
- Parallel dimension - similar to the alternate timeline argument, some suggest that Liquid Chris comes from a parallel dimension where his parents were not coddled and a dimension where copyright laws as we know them do not exist and combinations of original characters are created as works of pure genius.
- Physical Manifestation of Chris's Shadow - According to Jungian psychology, the shadow is the opposite of the self-image, often containing qualities that the ego does not identify with but possesses nonetheless. Solid and Liquid Chris are one and the same person but with different personality traits. Somehow, while the method is unknown, the Liquid Chris personality was extracted from Solid Chris into a physical form containing all the opposites in Solid Chris's personality (read: the good ones)
Irony
IBAChandler has mocked the CChanSonichuCWC on several points:
It's a bad sign when one is fighting a mirror, and the mirror is winning.
In early August 2009[4], Solid started to believe that Liquid can't be the real Chris because only the real Christian Weston Chandler is a retard who is the laughing stock of the Internet. Therefore, the fact that Liquid isn't trolled and doesn't do dumb shit suggests that he isn't the real Chris. Of course, previously mentioned theories seem to disprove this assertion.
In a further fit of irony, Ian ends up impersonating Liquid in a bizarre attempt to woo Liquid's girlfriend, Kacey.
Showdown
| SHOWDOWN: With the Recording of The Feds, The TRUE CWC Confronts The FAKE | |
| Stardate | 09 August 2009 |
| Subject Matter | Liquid confronts Ian about the slander that Ian's been giving him. |
| Featuring | Liquid Chris; Ian Brandon Anderson |
| Saga |  Liquid Saga
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Chris had a telephone exchange with CChanSonichuCWC in which he threatens to arrest him for identity theft and involve Bob in this debacle.
Transcript
IBA: Hello?
CWC: Hello Ian. Yeah I think you know who this is.
IBA: Look Christian, stop this.
CWC: Look, you are giving me a lot of stress right now and I am not going to handle it.
IBA: (sighs) Look, Chris, listen, I was kind enough to accept the fact that you are actually a Christian W. Chandler, but you were…
CWC: No! My name, my name is Christian Weston Chandler.
IBA: All right fine, your name is Christian Weston Chandler. But the fact is, you were born with that name; you are not the Christian Weston Chandler that was born as Christopher Weston Chandler, who’s the original creator of Sonichu and Rosechu.
CWC: No, no, no.
IBA: I’ve asked you nicely to please stop pretending, for the sake of Kacey. She really cares about you.
CWC: I am not pretending anything. And you need to stop slandering me with your lies on the YouTube.
IBA: Look, I don’t know what the heck is wrong with your head, but you know and I know, my parents know, Kacey knows, the whole world knows that you are not Christopher Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler.
CWC: Hold on! Well... well then the whole world must be slandering against me, because I don’t think that’s very true. Because my fan base, if you took a look at my YouTube, you take a look at my YouTube video, you see that my fanbase has left me comments of support. And I’ve taken a look at your YouTube video and you and I see that they are all calling you out.
IBA: Look, Chris please, don't- don’t do this. You’re breaking my balls here. Stop doing this. Stop playing this game. Quit pretending. Please come clean. Stop it.
CWC: I am not pretending... Mmmm. You are really ticking me off right now. Mmm.
IBA: Look, we’re both ticking each other off, but let's…
CWC: You keep making up; all these things, I mean whatever, you know, AND right now, you’re making that up right now.
IBA: Making what up?
CWC: You're just making that up off the top of your head, because your name is not Christian Weston Chandler, it is Ian Brandon Anderson, and you are grinding my gears.
IBA: No, no, listen, I'll spell it out for you; I came up with I - B - A - Chandler as in I being myself, B as in specifying what I am, A as in singular, and Chandler being my last name. There is no such thing as Ian Brandon Anderson.
CWC: No, because I found it out, your Ian Brandon Anderson name, the reason you a... you added Chandler to that is because you were paying tribute to the serial killer Oba Chandler.
(Ian and his parents talk in the background.)
IBA: Are you still there?
CWC: Yeah, I'm still here. What do you want to talk about?
(Ian and his parents talk in the background more.)
IBA (background): I'm not going to let this go, he's *inaudible* around with me in real life.
(Bob talks in the background.)
IBA (background): He's continuing to call me this Ian Brandon Anderson that somebody made up.
(Bob talks in the background some more.)
IBA: Look, Chris, stop it, stop this game, you know...
CWC: I am not playing a game, I have... I have not... I have been... I have been being true and honest this entire time, and you have been playing a dirty game.
IBA: Look, stop... No, no, no, no, I am not playing a game, I am being the true... I am true honest voice of reason here, I am the true honest one here. I am the original true creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and the world of CWCville- (gets cut off)
CWC: No, no, no, that was me.
IBA: You're just... No, no, no, no. (gets cut off by CWC) You have never been to Manchester High School, you have never been to Piedmont Virginia Community College, you are taking the same class as Kacey is, over at community college in Washington DC.
CWC: No I am not, I don't even live in the Washington DC.
IBA: You are in DC, I know it, she knows it, we all know it, now stop it, if you don't (gets cut off by CWC) If you don't (gets cut off again) If you do not come clean right now, I am going to get my father in on this further, and you are going to get fucking arrested, thrown in jail, and you will not get to live the peaceful, happy life that Kacey and I would like (voice cracks) you to live because Kacey really cares for you MAN!
CWC: That's not true, I am honor roll! I am honor roll, and you... you have just been... (trademark groan) And you know what? How would you... when would you even, you know, you keep making all these threats with the police and (gets cut off)
IBA: I am not making any threats (gets cut off), everything I tell you is true, honest, and legit, you are the one- (gets cut off)
CWC: No, you are being, you were being, you are not being true and you are not being honest.
IBA: Okay, this is it. I have gave you the last warning, I gave you the last response, you just busting my balls again, you're going to jail, I'm sorry Kacey.
In the Comics
On November 17, 2009, the TRUE and ORIGINAL Chris-chan made his very first appearance in Ian's shitty ripoff comic. Ian, being the butthurt idiot he is, actually had the nerve to imply that the real Chris's name was, in fact, Ian Brandon Anderson, and again tried to convince everyone that he was the original creator of Sonichu. This only proves how far that slanderous impostor will go to feed his delusions of grandeur.
Of course, since the comic is made by the real Christian Weston Chandler, he would obviously cast the impostor in the comic and call him by his real name. Chris shows much more restraint for Ian than was shown him in Ian's sick parody.
See also
- Robert Simmons V - an inverse of Liquid: someone exactly like Chris but who wants to be Chris's friend.
References
- ↑ REAL Protest against the FAKE
- ↑ REAL Protest against the FAKE
- ↑ The Contest NEVER was to Determine Who was Who
- ↑ Captain's Log, Stardate August 3rd, 2009
External links
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