JERKS

Chris even divides his trading card game monsters into JERKS and females. Notice how the Jerk is azn.

"JERK" is Chris's term for men in general, including those who are not homos or jerkops. The canonical definition is "a MAN, other than myself, CWC, and my father, Robert Franklin Chandler, Jr." For example, Chris labeled every single one of his male MySpace friends as a JERK in his personal list. A few "respectable males" are apparently exempt from JERK status, such as George W. Bush.

One reason is the Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor.

Use as a denominator

Although he has defined the term "jerk" meaning all men save him and his father, the usage of the term seems to apply to any persons who get in the way of Chris doing something that he wants to do. If Chris wants china and can't get it because the object of his affection has a significant other, said significant other is a jerk. Chris wanted to win the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown but Adam Stackhouse got in the way. Therefore he is a jerk - allegedly because he broke the rules of the contest and used music, actually because he spoiled Chris's plans for sex with Megan Schroeder. Whether your intention was to obstruct Chris's efforts or not, you are a jerk for presenting a barrier to his goal.

In the past this could amount to nothing more than simply being more talented than Chris, or perhaps more socially well-adjusted (no great feat, considering Chris). Men with girlfriends did not specifically intend to cock-block Chris, they only did the normal thing and asked out a girl they liked. Adam Stackhouse simply made a good video for a competition he wanted to win and had no intention of thwarting an autistic's plans to seduce his best friend. According to Chris's way of thinking, though, they were all out to get him.

Use as a prefix/suffix

Certain professions are denoted as Chris by using "jerk" as a prefix (as with jerkop) or as a suffix (as with manajerk). The addition of the prefix/suffix comes from their perceived actions which, again, prevented Chris from getting what he wanted. Never mind the fact that managers and police officers are simply doing their job when they stop creepy patrons from soliciting members of the public for sex. They have obstructed the quest for china and, as such, are jerks. Due to repeated encounters with these professions, Chris has taken to describing any member of their ranks as a jerk.

Varying usage

Despite the fact that Chris has openly declared that all men are jerks, in practice he doesn't seem to automatically apply the term to every man he meets. Robert Simmons V was held in some regard before he turned troll against Chris. Joseph Herring was considered a high-school friend (although Chris drew him as an ugly zit-scarred freak). Chris considered Joshua Martinez a friend (though he still tried to get ED to ruin him) as long as he thought Josh would help him score some china. John Schroeder, Megan's brother, was even the main character in one of Chris's fake video games. Once again, howerver, that was probably a side-effect of Chris's lust for Megan.

Given that Chris doesn't rigidly adhere to his original definition of the word, we can reach one of two conclusions:

1. Chris does not necessarily regard all men as jerks.
2. Chris still considers them jerks but will play along for selfish reasons until they can no longer help him.

Based on what we know, most of us are betting on the latter.

Connection to behavior

Wiktionary defines a JERK as: A person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered or disagreeable, and often not very intelligent. In the cases of people Chris has labeled a jerk, this is often very far from the truth. People Chris has labeled in this way have been known for all manner of redeemable qualities such as heroism, having a good sense of responsibility to the people under their care and being uniquely talented. Indeed, simply having a girlfriend hardly seems a good reason to be labeled a jerk. Whether it is true or not, it seems a shallow reason to label someone on so little information. Not that Chris is well-known for acknowledging the accomplishments of those other than himself.

Chris as the embodiment of JERK

Ironically, or perhaps better put, hypocritically, Chris's actions make him more deserving of the term jerk than most people he applies it to.

Unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior

The fact that he receives a monthly tugboat for nothing while feeling he deserves it has been a major sticking point for all CWC-watchers. Having a whiny voice and a terrible command of English while touting himself as talented and well educated are a major cause of further irritation. Also, the fact that he feels deserving of so many things while doing so little to achieve them make most scream in agony at the levels of obnoxious.

Mean

Chris repeatedly makes threats and has outbursts of anger.

Self-centered

Any man who makes his own universe where he rules as a god is probably not the most considerate of others.

Also, this, this and ESPECIALLY THIS.

Disagreeable

The fact that Chris can't stop hating on homos, has a very skewed opinion on women, selectively adapts the bible to fit his own beliefs and just generally shows no common sense regarding any topic makes him highly disagreeable to almost anyone of any opinion.

Often not very intelligent

LOL RETARD