Fangs
He has them and isn't afraid to show them.
The Horror
Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor video quality, Chris's fangs are more likely discoloured as a result of the copious amounts of soda he drinks (which probably has other effects as well).[1] The fact that he has multiple visible cavities seems to support this, although Chris could just be too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside.
Powers
Chris revealed his fangs in a video early in 2009, by essentially shoving the camera in his mouth. Chris has since been observed many times to bare them in what he believes is an intimidating tactic, although the actual effect of being exposed to the inside of his mouth is closer to revulsion. One can only infer from these threats that Chris intends to use them to bite his antagonists, but considering the awful state of his teeth he'd be lucky if none fell out in the process.
Ironically, Chris's canine teeth (called "eye-teeth" by Chris[2]) are so blunt and rounded that they almost look like incisors (front teeth). The canine teeth do gradually become blunted over the course of a lifetime, since they are involved in chewing - something Chris does a lot. Despite not even having reached middle age, Chris's teeth are already extremely blunt, meaning they would make for even less effective weaponry than the contents of the human mouth already do. Perhaps realising this, Chris has since upgraded his arsenal to a pocket knife.
Wisdom teeth
Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He keeps them in a jar on top of the Megan Shrine and also made a Yu-Gi-Oh! card with them on it. Being the bizarre narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short story, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a child's card game says a lot about him.
Appearances
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This article is still yet to be completed due to stress. We get a lot of stressful torture in our lives that makes us crash into slumber. Given that inspiration is a big variable, and we may have been lacking of it, this article will be completed as soon as possible, at our own pace... HONEST!
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- Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009: In this video, Chris states he is not afraid to intimidate Gregg Mays with his "fangs." He then leans toward the camera for a close-up of his upper teeth - in particular, his two front teeth.
- Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009: Chris does not clearly show his "fangs" in this video, but rather mentions how he is prepared to show his "faaannngggsss only when he has to." He starts to lean forward into the camera while presumably baring his teeth (one cannot clearly see the teeth as the video quality is so poor), but he then swings back to his original posture instead of going for a full close-up.
- Sign Destruction Video: On the 6th of December 2009, Chris threatens Vivian Gee by ripping apart a paper sign left in his yard, and then bites his clown's head off with his infected gums. He exposes his yellowed and rotting teeth to the audience, undoubtedly to show off his sugar-encrusted enamel.
Gallery
CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two My Little Ponys on the top shelf.
So...are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or…something?
He's not even afraid to show the gaping cavities at the back of his mouth. Now that's honest content!
Sources
- ↑ Biological clock
- ↑ Issue 10 Page 18 "I HAVE FANGS FOR MY EYE-TEETH"