CWCville
| “ | I'm still the mayor of CWCville. There is no elections. | ” |
| Chris-chan Discusses... | ||
CWCville (pronounced: [kwɪkvɪɫ], "quick-ville") is Chris's imaginary world, created from a combination of his twisted views on the world and pop-culture to work as a place where all his wishes, ideas, and deranged fantasies become true.
| CWCville | |
|---|---|
| Flag (Ceremonial) | 
|
| Flag (National) | The national flag of CWCville. |
| Location | Virginia, U.S. |
| Coordinates | Unknown, possibly the same as Charlottesville in a parallel universe |
| Date established | Fictional: 1982 Real world: 2000 |
| Population | Large. Mixed population of humans, Pokémon, and ripoffs |
| Political Ideology | Chandlerian Socialism |
| Area code | N/A, communication system relies on classified Nintendo DS link |
| Website | None (formerly cwcville.com) |
| Also known as | Chris's mind, CWCistan, The People's Democratic Republic of CWCville, Hell, etc. |
| Exports | Excessive undeveloped characters, blatant ripoffs, autistic manchildren, semen, nuclear weapons |
| Current relevance | Main location of events in the Sonichu universe |
Overview
CWCville is the setting of Sonichu, a city in Virginia of which Chris is Mayor for life. CWCville is where Chris portrays friends and enemies from his real life in scenarios altered to reflect his bias toward himself. As his ideal metropolitan community, CWCville illustrates Chris's poor understanding of how a city actually functions. Like everything else that appears in his comic, Chris believes CWCville to actually exist in a parallel universe.[1] Chris has claimed to be mayor of CWCville "IN REAL LIFE."[2] As an entity Chris believes to be real, CWCville is a coping mechanism used to compensate for his unsatisfying actual life. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, in a manner similar to The Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
It has been argued that Chris's power stems from the fact that he can retreat to his own CWCville world, where he can right all wrongs done to him. In his comics, we see him defeating Mary Lee Walsh, with whom he holds an IRL grudge, beating around the jerkops, and bringing his dead dog, Patti Chandler, back to life in the form of another inhabitant. The main reason Chris can do such superhuman acts as defeating a whole army of huge Jerkops and resurrecting his dead dog is that in CWCville his will reigns supreme. This serves as a blanket that protects his physically and mentally weak self from the outside world in which he holds no such power.
Chris is greatly concerned by people who are misinformed about any detail of CWCville or conclude that it is anything but "a clean, secure, orderly and safe city."[3] After being coerced into declaring BILLY MAYS the new Mayor of CWCville,[4] Chris repeatedly stated that this was not true.[5][6][7] In his willingness to educate, and his confusion at negative reactions to his answers, Chris seems to think that anyone who understands what CWCville is like will love it.
The seeds of CWCville were planted early into Chris's life. At some point, Chris put all of his completed LEGO kits, original LEGO creations, and various handmade Sonichu items together on one table in his room. The first official CWCville media was made in 2001.[8] After toying with more phonetic spellings, Chris settled on "CWCville"[9] in 2003. This spelling consecutively features the initials of his full name and its pronunciation must be explained to others, indicative of CWCville's nature as a self-serving and insular fantasy.
Chris has repeatedly associated CWCville with Charlottesville, VA, likely the largest and most familiar urban environment in his life. Chris has presented footage of Charlottesville as footage of CWCville.[10] He has stated that CWCville is as important and worthy of respect as every American city that begins with "C," but mentioned only Charlottesville by name, calling it "the most important one" of these "C-Villes."[11] CWCville is said to have an annual Dogwood Festival,[7] also an annual Charlottesville tradition. This association further illustrates Chris's narrow perception of the outside world.
Name
One of Chris's homemade Pokémon cards featured a "Cwick City Gym," while an unfinished Game Boy Camera project dating from 2001 used the spellings "Cwicville" and "Cwickville". It is unknown why he changed the spelling. Likely the alternate spelling just didn't stimulate his massive ego as much as his unaltered initials, even if it makes a lot less sense. (Although Christown, Chandlerville etc. would have been just as good and made a lot more sense.)
Without knowing the "correct" pronunciation of the name, the fact remains that "CWCville", unlike any proper English word, begins with four consonants in a row. Using conventional phonology, the name is pretty difficult to utter, unless you're in Eastern Europe or perhaps Wales. In Mailbag 43, Chris slams Evan and fails once again, spectacularly, to realize the seeds of truth buried in parodies.
Government and politics
| “ | And for your information, my City's politics are of a King/Queen thing; NO VOTING | ” |
| Chris, explaining the totalitarian state to Samantha Thaddeus. | ||
CWCville is like many contemporary third world countries. Its government, likely unbeknownst to Chris, eerily parallels Turkmenistan under Saparmurat Niyazov, who was also known for governing with an iron fist, enacting ridiculous bans and possessing a titanic ego. Nonetheless, even Niyazov was a much better leader and much smarter person than Chris. Chris also mirrors Norsefire leader Adam Susan from Alan Moore's graphic novel V For Vendetta: both Chris and Susan are homophobic, racist, fascist adult virgins who spend all day isolated, trying to find love in their computer, only to be trolled.
According to Sonichu 8, CWCville was founded in 1982 by Chris's father, Bob Chandler. Why he would name a city after his deadshit son is unknown. And only GodJesus knows why it wasn't called RFCville.
According to the Samantha Thaddeus e-mails, the government is a "King/Queen thing" with no elections. There's a non-elected leader who does what he pleases, "advised" by an elected Town Council. Exactly how CWCville's government operates is unknown. Chandler is mayor-for-life with supreme power, and has insisted that there are no elections, but he has also insisted that the vote has "even" been extended to those of African descent. Voting is strictly for the Town Council, which holds no authority, existing as a purely advisory committee which the mayor is not obligated to listen to. The mayor attempts to dissuade accusations of dictatorship, citing that dictatorships are never hereditary, whereas he inherited the town from his father (even though many dictatorships are hereditary, e.g. Kim Jong-il succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, and "Baby Doc" succeeded "Papa Doc" in Haiti). However, he refuses to acknowledge that this obviously makes his town a monarchy, by explaining that all other government positions are voted on (even though such a practice is found in many modern monarchies, even absolute ones). It's also revealed that the name of the town was changed when it was passed from father to son, though whether or not the town was originally known as "RFCville", or something marginally less retarded is unknown, as all records of Mayor Bob's mayorship — in fact, all symbols of the old regime — have been erased (like the Roman practice of damnatio memoriae, where all records of a traitor: statues, etc., are erased after his death). It is theorized that one day Christian will hand over the reins of governance to his daughter, Crystal Weston Chandler, in which case the town's name will not go through another change.
On 3 March 2009, Chris announced that BILLY MAYS is the new mayor of CWCville and that he was going to CWCville Jail to get raped by niggos. The next day, 4 March 2009, Chris revoked his statement that made MAYS the new mayor, establishing a government-in-exile in his bedroom. Most legal scholars, however, argue that since Chris was not wearing the Medallion of Fail, which Chris has indicated is necessary for a video to be TRUE and HONEST (and any retraction otherwise would involve him wearing the medallion to make his retraction legally binding), his statements to the contrary are false and therefore not legally binding, meaning BILLY MAYS is still the mayor of CWCville. On 28 June 2009, BILLY MAYS snorted too much cocaine and died in his mayoral mansion, plunging the entire town into mourning. Chris wasted no time in seizing control of CWCville, and quickly undid all of MAYS' initiatives, before announcing during a post-coup interview that he was always the ruler, and that there would be no further elections.
Under the Mayor's rule, business owners and managers who try to stand up for themselves are ruthlessly crushed. The police don't take orders from the civil authorities and lock people up at random, the dean of the only college is leading a hopeless resistance and is vilified in the mayoral-controlled press. Soliciting sex is legal in CWCville, whereas possession of tobacco is a very serious offense. Alcohol was illegal until 2009, when the ban was rescinded. The radio station and soft drink company are also named after the mayor, which indicates either nationalization of normally private businesses or rampant cronyism. CWCville mints its own money, which comes in confusing denominations - there are two coins: the C-Quarter and W-Quarter, which are mutually exclusive to the point where vending machines will take only one or the other, and the exchange rate between the two is uncertain (usually 10 C's = 1 W).
Laws have been enacted to persecute homosexuals, and psychic surveillance is used to monitor sexual purity; in a predictable display of bureaucratic cluelessness, this important task has been somehow handed to an obvious closet case. This constant Orwellian surveillance, which is obviously done under the guise of "protecting" the citizens, flies completely against the basic human right to privacy. Since there is no plausible way to have any oversight over a super-powered official or question or contest his findings (and disputing the authority has been futile in general), it also effectively elevates the official above law. The Mayor has also hinted — though sensibly, he has not written it into actual law, otherwise all international observers would condemn his actions at once — that the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, a group of civilian defense contractors, have immunity from prosecution. This goes against the concept of supremacy of law that is the very foundation of modern societies; some sociologists have pointed out that this is in fact the hallmark of all police states.
CWCville has a large police force equipped with weapons and TANKS, and even an entire division of the U.S. Army; all these units, as said before, are above law. These groups appear frequently all around the city enforcing the laws, giving grim reminders of their existence to the common public every day, dragging the morale down. For a normal townsperson, hardly a day passes without a tank rolling past their home, military helicopters buzzing over the shopping centers, or seeing a group of heavily armed mercenaries bullying a hapless youngster on the other side of the street for simply looking a little bit "trollish", whatever that means. Any attempts at humor are prosecuted swiftly and severely under the draconian laws that are based on curious misinterpretations of international copyright laws. Dissident comedians who flee the city are hunted down and gruesomely executed (with the emphasis on "cute") by underage assassins. Despite all this perceived military and law enforcement might, the police and mercenaries demonstrably offer little real protection or competence: troublemakers like Wes Iseli ruin weddings with near impunity, and the dissident leaders remain at large until recently.
The court system is a joke. Walsh was captured, depowered and sent to a maximum security prison without a trial. The jerkops and manajerks are depowered, yet are allowed to go scot-free. However, when Simonla Rosechu is murdered by a Voltorb, four people - Evan, Alec Benson Leary, Sean and Mao are arrested and put on trial not even a week after, despite earlier receiving a public pardon from the mayor. The judge is biased in Chris's favor, when all judges should be impartial. Sean is permitted to defend himself and his fellow co-defendants, despite being clearly under the influence of drugs. Nobody suggests appointing a public defender for the four. The prosecutor adds on to the charges, considering slander via the Asperpedia (which was destroyed by Chris) punishable by death, when it is a mild offense in most jurisdictions. Evidence gathered using Magi-Chan's psychic powers is considered admissible in court. When the four are found guilty by a clearly biased jury, they are immediately executed in cruel and inhumane ways.
The basic services are lacking: Blake wasn't sent to a hospital E.R. after being attacked by Silvana, but was sent to a wholly inadequate Pokémon Center instead. (although Reldnahc was sent to a hospital in Sonichu 6). Packs of wild Pokémon roam the streets, uncontrolled. The rare buildings of CWCville are sad, lopsided affairs, betraying a lack of architectural and engineering skills brought on by a national brain drain, as the educated classes seek asylum in the U.S., Canada, or Europe (the map shows many buildings, but they tend not to appear in pictures — we can assume they were simply never built). As the poor citizens of CWCville suffer in the squalor of refugee camps, the mayor wastes precious UN aid money on oversize novelty drinking straws and credit cards for dogs. As of Christmas 2009, there were 10 homeless shelters set up: Chris himself claims that these ten-story "soup hotels" house an indigent population of 900-1,800 individuals, and come equipped with free cable TV. They are almost certainly havens for junkies, crack dealers and whores openly plying their trade in the hallways and elevators, while the mayor's personal friends, such as Sonichu, live in state-sponsored, suburban housing. It is not clear how CWCville finances such a ludicrously generous welfare system, given that the city's economy (and thus its tax take) appears to be almost non-existent.
Conditions in CWCville are worsening daily. As mayoral forces clash with rebel police in the streets of the capital, aid organizations have been forced to withdraw. While his people starve, mayor Chandler has funneled government money into illegal arms trades, probably with rogue nations, with the stated goal of building a rocket to "send all the tobacky to the moon". The lavish living conditions and the salary of his squad of Pokémon goons are fully supported by the city's budget.
tl;dr CWCville is a banana republic that makes most African countries look like the world's best places to live.
Flora and fauna
CWCville, like the rest of Virginia, has a temperate climate and is suitable for large-scale agriculture. Years of economic decline, however, have seen CWCville's environs diverge greatly from those of its neighboring cities. Its forests growing thicker, and its fields returning to nature, CWCville is an excellent laboratory for the avid naturalist. Pokémon roam in the forests; zapbuds fill the fields.
Zapbuds are a horrible new invasive species imported from the hell-hole of Chris's mind. They have quickly established themselves in the surrounding ecosystems, killing off native species such as pickles with their weedy tendencies. While some claim zapbuds have narcotic properties similar to opium poppies, little attempt has been made to market or cultivate them outside of CWCville due to intervention from environmental groups from letting this horrific weed from spreading. Aside "healing woes", relatively little is known of them. They have four petals, possibly resembling buds of some sort in their normal state, and the "zap" and electrical hazard symbol suggest that it might not be the brightest idea to pee in the middle of a zapbud field. Zapbuds reproduce asexually as they have no pistils or stamens for sexual flower reproduction.
See also
Sauces
- ↑ Chris and reality#Fantasy and fiction
- ↑ ChrisChanSonichu and WikiSysop correspondence#THAT DOES NOT MATTER (CCS)
- ↑ Mailbag 35#Except when half of it gets destroyed by giant robots
- ↑ March 2009
- ↑ Mumble 11
- ↑ CWC Update 1 July 2009
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Issue 9/Page 32
- ↑ The City of Cwicville Tour!
- ↑ Animal Crossing Documentary
- ↑ Rollin' and Trollin'
- ↑ Do Not Dis C Ville