Pedo-Glasses

“	My frames are good; they look good to me, and they are the best fit for my lenses anyway.	”
Chris, on his choice in eyewear.

Sonichu on his pedo-glasses - "I think I've picked the wrong frames." Yes, yes you have.

The Pedo-Glasses, also known as the Rapist Glasses, are the colloquial names for Chris's spectacles, the appearance of which have been described variously as recalling some form of sexual deviant, usually along the lines of a pedofork. He began wearing them on 2 February 1998.^[1] In late October 2010, Chris broke his glasses and repaired them with Crayola Model Magic.^[2]

Glasses

They are double-bridged (to reduce damage induced by fits of tard rage) and somewhat oversized, their roundness emphasizing Chris's pudgy face and generally rotund form. The earpieces are connected by a string attachment that nobody else under the age of sixty would use. Regardless, Chris has defended his choice of eyewear with the truism that "it helps me see better", although they remained conspicuously absent from the comic for some time.

Often these type of frames and lenses are among the few pairs available by default to a patient at little to no cost if they want to utilize their Social Security Disability Insurance on vision benefits. Of course, many tend to spend some extra cash on a much better pair of frames, but Chris has better things to buy.

In May 2012, a Facebook profile pic showed that Chris had replaced the Pedo-Glasses with a relatively normal pair; unfortunately, this improvement is offset by his being a creepy Tomgirl with awful hair.

Dramatic glasses removal

Chris has been known to emphatically remove his glasses from his face for dramatic effect in his videos, often putting them on just so he can tear them off again, like the manchild version of David Caruso. (For a useful example in context, see his video from 27 May 2010, where he removes his glasses, puts them back on, and removes them again within the space of less than thirty seconds.)

In various videos Chris also appears to take his glasses off and throw them to the floor. This was particularly common during his feud with Liquid Chris, when the dispute over his identity had him especially wound up — see here and here for examples. In a couple of videos posted in October 2010, it appears Chris has wrapped tape over the bridge of his glasses, showing that all those dramatic removals have finally taken their toll on Chris's frames. The tape was later replaced by a more permanent solution in form of a nose-piece, crafted in crayola model magic.

How exactly his frames broke in the first place is unknown. The MovingForward Videos show that Chris sometimes stores his glasses in his back pocket, though, so it's not entirely unlikely that he simply forgot they were there and sat on them.