Difference between revisions of "Duck"

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(Adding a real duck.)
(Undo revision 144137 by Taco Wiz - Hell no - this isn't ED - we don't need random pictures of cocks)
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[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity<ref>[[Ivy Q&A#Comics]]</ref>]]
[[Image:SchuComicSP3P5real.jpg|thumb|right|Chris and his duck in the comics interpreted as a Photoshop.  Notice the slight bend.]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Duck_edited.jpg|thumb|left]]



Revision as of 13:33, 14 August 2011

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Chris and his duck in the comics. Traced for authenticity[1]
Duck edited.jpg
ChrisChanSonichu (12:20:19 AM): sorry, it is limp.
Chris, on his duck.[2]
MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM-TOM TO POUND!!!!!
Chris, I Am The TRUE, Original Christopher Christian Weston Chandler; No Ifs, Ands or Buts

Duck is a CWC-ism for penis, usually in the context of Chris's own penis. (The genitalia of other males, and those of Rosechus, are pickles.) This neologism was originally thought to be a misspelling of "dick", but Chris confirmed in a 17 February 2009 Mumble chat that it is an intentional euphemism.[3]

Chris and his duck

Indeed a monster.
Another example of a bent duck

Chris's penis is bent at a horrifying 45° angle, though he has never clearly explained why. Some speculate that Chris has Peyronie's disease, or that he did it to himself by mass debating improperly, resulting in what's known medically as a fractured penis. In any case, sex would be a painful experience for him.

Chris proudly claims his penis is six inches (15 cm) long.[4] He even edited the CWCki at one point to remove a bit of piping that suggested otherwise. His claim appears highly unlikely, however, even if he measured both segments. From the looks of it, especially with the bend, Chris's cock is smaller than average. He has attempted to enlarge it with ExtenZe, a supplement advertised to enlarge penises, but he said it didn't work.[5][6]

Knowing that Chris is a pathological liar, he's probably just trying to impress "da ladiez," and is overcompensating. On the off-chance that Chris is indeed not lying, he still proves that having a big penis isn't everything.

Chris at least understands that his penis is of no more than average size, and he apparently regrets this fact. In an e-mail to Evan during their feud over Simonla Rosechu, he took off on a peculiar tangent about penis length: "There ARE those with dicks longer than 7 inches; yes I am jealous of those individuals, not just you."

Toward the very end of his communications with Jackie, Chris claimed that his penis has grown larger and straightened itself out since it was last photographed for public consumption. Determining the likelihood of this occurrence will be left as an exercise for the reader. however, in one of the recently (as of 29 April 2011) leaked Tomgirl images his penis is still visibly bent.

Many of his nude photos show that Chris shaves most of his pubic hair. While this sometimes has the effect of making the penis seem more prominent, in Chris's case, it just exposes even more ghostly pale skin.

In a video made sometime in the winter of 2008-2009, Chris nearly gave his duck frostbite by sticking it in snow for 15 minutes.

References by Chris

Anatomical analysis of the duck.

Sauces

See also

The CWC-tionary

Relationships: Attraction Location | Boyfriend-free girl | Darling | Dating education | Friend Zone | Gal-pal | Heart Level | Homos | Infinitely-High Boyfriend-Factor | Love Quest | Noviophobia | SLGBTQ | Sweetheart | Sweetheart from the Ground-Up

Sex: China | Comeuppance | Duck | JULAY | Mass debating | Negligent | Pedofork | Pickle | Recycling | Soul Bonding | Virgin with rage | Virginia is for Virgins | Women's rights

Himself: Biological clock | Butt garments | Captain's Log | Christian Love Day | DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS | Fuzzy-Wuzzies & Prickly-Wicklies | Honest Content | I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD | Monthly tugboat | Muscle bra | Random-access humor | Saga | Scale of Respect | Tomgirl |

Stressors: 4-cent_garbage | GOPony | HEXBox | JERKS | Jerkops | Kick the Autistic | Manajerks | Naïve | Niggos | Pmurt | Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens | Slow-in-the-minds | Tobacky

Fantasies: Curse-ye-ha-me-ha | Dimension | Fangs | Godjesus | Iron Curtain | OC | Un-clit

Comics: Anchuent Prophecy | Da Update | Electric Hedgehog Pokemon | Nombie-zazis | Parody | Rosechu | Sonichu | Sub-Episodes | Sweetbolt


See also: Chris and English | List of phrases Chris copied from media