Difference between revisions of "PlayStation 4"
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Revision as of 01:04, 6 January 2017
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YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK! The contents of this page have been bought with taxpayer money! |
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The PlayStation 4 is a video game console created by Sony, originally released in North America on 15 November 2013. It is the best selling console of the eighth generation of gaming, alongside the HEXbox One (with the Wii U trailing behind in sales but never falling off the market share). At least 35.9 million consoles have been sold by January 2016.
Despite his fanaticism for the system's predecessor (and his tendency to spend hundreds of dollars on games for it), for two years following its release Chris made no indication of wanting to buy the life upgrade upgrade. This was most likely due to his family's health problems (compounded by his run-in with the law) draining him of funds - as evidenced by him repeatedly begging people to give him money/buy him LEGO sets. He did however show contempt for its competition - getting banned from his local Walmart for defacing an Xbox One standee - but this was the only thing he had to say about the modern "console wars" (which have been intense enough to be dramatized in South Park, among other places). He also purchased a Wii U some time later.
This would change in February 2016, around his 34th birthday.
The birthday saga
The outset
On the first of the month, Chris asked for a PS4 and PlayStation Camera on Facebook alongside a slew of specifications - notably, he would later specify a white Destiny bundle. Whomsoever saw fit to waste their hard-earned money on this gift would be "reimbursed" with a $500 voucher for Chris's Etsy shop - Chris naturally believing that his comics, medallions, and amiibo are worth hundreds of dollars. In fact, a $500 voucher would probably allow the donator to buy everything in the shop and still have around $50 in now-useless funds to spare. Having already given extremely specific demands for this "gift", Chris would further elaborate that buying him anything less than the Destiny bundle and camera would reduce the value on the voucher.
Sorry, but really though give me a PS4
The twelfth would see Chris upload a video that opens with a customarily insincere apology - though he openly states he doesn't understand why anyone would be offended - then reiterates his demands at the end of the video.
Things go sour
Incredibly, February 24th came and went without anyone sending him a PS4 - instead, weens sent Chris worthless gift cards and a losing lottery ticket. A day later, he would upload another video complaining about this. Bizarrely, Chris appeared to have been so confident that someone would send him an expensive video game console that he became somewhat depressed when they didn't.
Chris finally gets one
However, despite all his whining, it transpired on 5 March 2016 that he had, in fact, obtained a PS4. It was widely held that Chris had just bought it for himself, but Chris credited a "Miss Kagney Lynn Moore from Seattle, Washington" as the ludicrously magnanimous donor. Closer examination of his Facebook page and of the order details showed that, of course, Chris had just bought it himself.. The name of the fictional donor could be derived from Kagney Lynn Karter and Kevin Moore, who have appeared in porn films together.
Epilogue
Having spent hundreds of dollars on a toy, Chris began to beg incessantly for donations he did nothing to earn shortly after in many videos.
PS4 games Chris owns
Chris was last spotted playing Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist for the PS4.
Chris has spent over $8581.62 of YOUR money!
Chris's PSN is Sonichu. You can see his profile here.
Note: This table only covers games Chris has earned at least one trophy in. Another table is shown below covering games that are at 0% and he has evidently not touched. A full list can be seen on his PSN profile, here.
| Game | Trophies | Progress | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| LEGO DIMENSIONS | 57 | 100% | A "toys-to-life" game (ala Skylanders or amiibo) that is rather infamous for being much more expensive than its competitors. |
| Ratchet & Clank | 47 | 100% | |
| Level 22 | 21 | 100% | |
| Three Fourths Home: Extended Edition | 7 | 100% | |
| Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist | 17 | 80% | |
| Gone Home | 9 | 71% | |
| Uncharted: Drakes' Fortune Remastered | 15 | 20% | |
| PaRappa the Rapper 2 | 4 | 19% | |
| Little Big Planet 3 | 7 | 14% | |
| Destiny | 6 | 9% | Star of a "Let's Play" (that was completely silent, thanks to Chris's cluelessness). |
| THE PLAYROOM | 2 | 6% | A collection of AR minigames built into the system. Most notable for being banned from streaming after a man stripped and groped his drunk wife live. |
| Shovel Knight | 4 | 5% | |
| ZOMBI | 3 | 4% | |
| Guitar Hero Live | 2 | 2% | |
| Transformers Devastation | 1 | 1% |
Games at 0%
Chris has 30 games which have been purchased but without trophies or progress which can be assumed to have not been booted up.
| Game | Release Date |
|---|---|
| Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Remastered | 2015 |
| Hitman GO: Definitive Edition | 2016 |
| Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Remastered | 2015 |
| THE BIT.TRIP | 2015 |
| Toy Soldiers War Chest | 2015 |
| Tetris Ultimate | 2014 |
| HELLDIVERS | 2015 |
| The Treasures of Montezuma 4 | 2015 |
| PixelJunk Shooter Ultimate | 2015 |
| The Swapper | 2014 |
| Hohokum | 2014 |
| inFAMOUS Second Son | 2014 |
| Skylanders Trap Team | 2014 |
| Woah Dave! | 2014 |
| Retro City Rampage DX | 2014 |
| Race The Sun | 2014 |
| Grim Fandango Remastered | 2015 |
| The Order: 1886 | 2015 |
| Killzone Shadow Fall | 2013 |
| Call of Duty: Black Ops III | 2015 |
| Nova-111 | 2015 |
| Thomas Was Alone | 2014 |
| Terraria | 2014 |
| Back to Bed | 2014 |
| Hotline Miami | 2014 |
| Invokers Tournament | 2015 |
| Skylanders SWAP Force | 2013 |
| KNACK | 2013 |
| Lone Survivor | 2013 |
| Shütshimi | 2015 |
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