CWC with Bible - Leviticus

“	So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone....	”
John 8:7, a Bible verse Chris seemed to miss

“	Judge not, that ye be not judged.	”
Matthew 7:1, another verse Chris seemed to miss

"CWC with Bible - Leviticus".

On March 8, Chris watched an episode of Family Guy ("Family Gay"), in which Peter Griffin becomes homosexual, and Stewie cites the Bible verse Leviticus 18:22 in opposition of this development. The joke, of course (aside from this coming from a closet case like Stewie) is that this scripture is frequently cited by opponents of homosexuality, even by people who don't exactly sit around reading the Bible, let alone Leviticus.

Despite twenty-seven years of devout Christian faith and disturbing homophobia, Chris apparently would never have known about this passage if not for Family Guy. Think about that. He eagerly shares this newly-discovered information (that everyone else has known about for three thousand years) with the homos watching his YouTube account.

Leviticus 18 concerns God speaking to Moses, relaying a message to the Israelites forbidding various things, including incest, male homosexuality, and bestiality. (God presumably saw no need to cover taping yourself spanking a sex doll that day.) The single verse concerning homosexuality has been thoroughly debated, and it appears Chris has doomed his fan base to engage in another round of the same tired arguments. Although Chris feels this verse ins EXTREMELY important, he feels no need to apply the rest of the bible to himself. If you didn't know better you'd think he was trolling us.

In other developments, Chris is hard at work on a new Sonichu medallion, and he publicly announces that he is no longer focusing the Internet as a front in his Love Quest. Instead, he has begun using a novelty book written by a nine-year-old to help him talk to girls in person.

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“

…I stand behind the truths of the Holy God and Lord.

”

Transcript

Captain's Log, Stardate: March… 9th, 2009.

I am here just to, uh, remind everybody I am wearing my ring. And I want everybody to know that when I am wearing my ring, I am being most honest and upfront, just like I did when I wore my medallion. And incidentally, I'm working on another one. Hopefully, I'll have it coated in metal.

But also, on another note, I would like to, uh, state an obvious fact that has been revealed in the latest episode of Family Guy, and backs me up on the f—on the fact that… ho-mo-sex-u-al-i-ty-and-gay-ness is just plain wrong. And Stewie has quoted that—the Bible verse that has just—that basically says it in a nutshell. Leviticus: chapter 18, verse 22:

“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”

And to go on further, among the first number of verses:

“The Lord said to Boses, ‘Speak to the Israelites and say to them: “I am the Lord your God. You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must… not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the Lord your God. Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them and will live by them. I am the Lord.”’”

And majority of the laws is basically do not sleep with, uh, your relati—with your close relatives or the, uh, relation of those relatives. And, uh, because in the end, it just described here, uh… from, uh, 25, and so on.

“Even the land was defiled…”

…among such things…

“…so, I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things…”

Especially sleeping with a man as you would a woman... you homos.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah…

“…for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you. Everyone who does any of these detestable things… such persons must be cut off from their people. Keep my requirements, and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you… came and-- before you came, and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the Lord your God.”

This was chapter 18 of Leviticus, in the Holy Bible. And verse 22.

[shakes head and shrugs] Sorry, homos… but I stand behind the truths of the Holy God and Lord. Thank you, and have a pleasant day.

['jump cut]

And, uh, also, just to add another note: I am also—uh, I have also stopped in trying to find true love and romance over the Internet, and have currently—I have currently at lea—or—and possibly temporarily ceased to—ceased talking from instant messages and the Mumble on the Internet. I've taken the first step into encouraging myself to actually talking to the women around here. And I quote the book that I have learned about from the John Tesh radio show, as well as my, uh, pastoral counselor: How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven... a 9-year-old. You can find a video where he talks about his book on Amazon.com. Great book!

The only thing that I disagree about is the—is the fact that, uh… men are the magnets and the women, they are the metal. Because it can go either way. He just basically backs up to the fact that—ab—of us guys being the magnets—only on their brains! Only on the brains. Only if they're smart enough. I mean, not every man is smart! I'm not saying I'm dumb, or naïve. But not every man is smart. So… that's a false statement, Alec. But I commend you on the rest of your words, if you're listening to this, Alec.

Thank you. Have a pleasant day.