Fangs
He has them and isn't afraid to show them.
The Horror
Originally assumed to be yellowish as a result of poor video quality, Chris's fangs are more likely discolored as a result of the copious amounts of soda he drinks (which has other effects as well).[1] The fact that he has multiple visible cavities seems to support this, although Chris could just be too lazy to brush his teeth. What is certain is that despite his claim to visit a dentist every 6 months, the inside of his mouth is even more horrifying than the outside.
Powers
Chris believes his teeth are more menacing than those of ordinary humans. He once said that "They're called Eye-Teeth, but they feel and look like fangs of a vampire, dpg [sic] or something to me."[2] He revealed his fangs in a series of videos in 2009, in some cases essentially shoving the PSEye in his mouth. He believed this to be intimidating, although the actual effect of being exposed to the inside of his mouth is revulsion. One can only infer from these threats that Chris intended to use them to bite his antagonists, but considering the awful state of his teeth he'd be lucky if none fell out in the process.
Ironically, Chris's canine teeth are so blunt and rounded that they almost look like incisors (front teeth). The canine teeth do gradually become blunted over the course of a lifetime, since they are involved in chewing--something Chris does a lot. Despite not even having reached middle age, Chris's teeth are already extremely blunt, meaning they would make for even less effective weaponry than the contents of the human mouth already do.
Perhaps realizing this, Chris stopped baring his fangs after 2009, and has since upgraded his arsenal to a pocket knife, Son-Chu, and mace.
Wisdom teeth
Chris has had an operation to remove his wisdom teeth. He keeps them in a jar on top of the Megan Shrine and also made a Yu-Gi-Oh! card with them on it. He also thought Julie would be impressed by this fact, letting her know that "I still have them preserved in a jar with a dash of alcohol."[3] Being the bizarre narcissist that he is, Chris feels the need to immortalize any significant event in his life in some way, be it through short story, comic adaptation, or even custom trading cards. The fact that he finds his removed teeth important enough to think that they would be worth adding to a card game says a lot about him.
Appearances
- Captain's Log, Stardate January 8th, 2009: In this video, Chris stated that wasn't afraid to show Gregg Mays his "fangs." He then leaned toward the camera for a close-up of his upper teeth--in particular, his 2 front teeth.
- Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009: Chris did not clearly show his "fangs" in this video, but rather mentioned how he was prepared to show his "faaannngggsss only when he has to." He started to lean forward into the camera while presumably baring his teeth (one cannot clearly see them as the video quality is so poor), but he then swung back to his original posture instead of going for a full close-up.
- Take that Page DOWN NOW!: Here, Chris threatened Encyclopedia Dramatica and Clyde Cash by punching a doll, baring his teeth, and damaging his camera.
- Chris Calls Clyde Out: On 23 April 2009, Chris again threatened Clyde by acting like an idiot, deliberately giving his audience a close-up of his teeth and whitish tongue.
- 12 October 2009: Chris again acted like an insane retard, showing both his teeth and his plumber's crack.
- Sign Destruction Video: On 6 December 2009, Chris threatened Vivian G by ripping apart a paper sign left in his yard, and then bit his clown's head off with his infected gums. He exposed his yellowed and rotting teeth to the audience, undoubtedly to show off his sugar-encrusted enamel.
In the comics
In Sonichu 10, the devil Beel manages to steal Chris-chan Sonichu's medallion, causing him to revert back to ordinary Chris. At this nadir, Chris discovers that his powers actually reside in his high school ring, and he saves the day. To further bolster his self-esteem, Chris takes this moment to show his fangs, noting, "I have fangs for my eye-teeth." This turns out to have no bearing on the plot.
Gallery
CWC's wisdom teeth seen here guarded by two My Little Ponys on the top shelf.
So...are the discarded cards wisdom teeth, or...something?
Now that's what we call cavities.
Chris's vampiric LittleBigPlanet avatar.
