CWCki:Frequently Asked Questions

New people are being initiated to the horrors of Christian Weston Chandler's world every day. Some of these people have simple questions that the veteran Miscreant might be able to answer with the greatest of ease. However, people hate being asked the same questions time and time again, so this page shall serve as a quick database of some of the most common questions encountered.

All the questions can be answered in more detail than they appear here, which should be an incentive for you to go peruse the wiki and other resources to learn all you can about everyone's favorite manchild.

Trolling

Is Chris a troll? Is the whole thing a hoax?

No. The verified documentation on Chris's entire life is way too complete and detailed for it to be a reverse-troll setup. There are news reports from his childhood confirming his autism; see Chris in the media. There are two different blogs about Chris's behavior that were published before any of us had ever heard of him. Sonichu has existed since 2000. Phone calls have been made to Chris's parents and his pastoral counselor. Chris got arrested and charged and acted like himself even in court. Read around on this wiki for more and more evidence.

How can you get off taunting an autistic guy?

As CWCki editors, we don't do the trolling; we just write about it. Still, people don't troll Chris because he's autistic- rather because he's a perverse, disgusting, quarrelsome, mean-spirited, delusional, narcissistic, sexist, racist, homophobic, overweight, unsympathetic, ungrateful, jealous, kid-scaring, troll-feeding, heretical, narcissistic, spiteful, cruel, hateful, antagonistic, completely and utterly untalented thief and all-around failure who wastes the hard-earned tax money of average Americans on video games and sex toys while contributing nothing to society despite his basic abilities. He uses his autism as a crutch. He blames his lack of a job on trolls and never follows up on his promises to apply. He's someone who realizes he has a problem and what he does doesn't work but refuses to get help, even ignoring the help of well-meaning individuals.

Why don't you try helping him instead?

Many people better than you have tried over the years and they have all accomplished nothing. See the White knight article for reasons for and against trying to save Chris. Regardless of how hard you try, he won't listen.

Do you exaggerate Chris's antics?

The editors here try their hardest to paint an accurate picture of Chris's life, but that is sometimes difficult due to the subject matter. For various (good) reasons, the CWCki is largely from Chris's point of view—that is, information presented here is what Chris acknowledges to be true. Trolls are merely players on the stage that is Chris's life. It's probably best to understand the world of Chris as he understands it, much like it's best to understand a fictional world from the point of view of its characters, rather than the underlying reality of it. In other words, while Chris's reactions to events are real and the documentation of the reactions are indeed real, the situations and characters that provoke these reactions are contrived.

Can I give suggestions on how next to troll Chris?

Not really, but you can try posting it on cwc or #sonichu, where people who do troll Chris are likely to notice you.

Psychology

Is he seeing a psychiatrist?

No, but he is seeing his church counselor and he has been sentenced to see a real psychiatrist. See Chris and psychology.

Is he really autistic?

This is debated, but the claim has never really been falsified. He always specifies that he has high-functioning autism; however, please note that "high-functioning autism" is an informal term with no actual medical significance to it (you won't find the term in any official publication by the American Psychiatric Association). Based on a cursory psychiatric survey from 2004, his diagnosis was autism (DSM-IV 299.00).

Does he have Asperger's syndrome?

Depends on what you define as "having" Asperger's. He has never been formally diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome, he has never claimed to have it, and in fact, he angrily rejects the label outright. However, it needs to be noted that "Asperger's" did not exist as a formally recognized diagnosis when Chris was diagnosed as "high-functioning autistic" as a child in the 1980s. There is a very good case to be made that Chris would most likely be given the "Asperger's" label if he had been born a few years later.

Is he retarded?

A more proper word for what Chris is may be "inept". He managed to graduate from community college and obtain a driver's license. Chris does understand the consequences of his actions, has a consistent ethical system (albeit a warped, self-serving one), and recognizes what he's doing isn't working (though he chooses to pin the blame on external forces or goes about his way anyways). The more likely answer to his perceived retardation is that he has very little common sense, which may be attributed (along with the obvious) to excessive parental sheltering. However, given that he receives regular payments from the government and does not demonstrate the competence to commit successful fraud, it has to be assumed that he was legitimately diagnosed at some point with some kind of disability.

Sex

Why didn't he hire a prostitute earlier?

For the majority of his love quest, Chris refused to hire a hooker. The reasons varied: prostitutes are not TRUE and HONEST love, they are expensive, and Chris is afraid of STDs. His ideal sex partner would also do all the work around the house, give him her income to spend on video games, and otherwise serve as his replacement mother—all of which a prostitute would be unwilling to do. When some prostitutes were sent to his house in early 2009, he cried. However, as his thirties approached, he got more lenient about his policy towards hookers. He once tried to solicit the services of a prostitute by phone, and tried to get a discount by offering the chance of deflowering him and telling his life story; the prostitute hung up on him. He finally claimed on Facebook in April 2012 to have fucked a hooker.

Is he gay?

This is a hotly debated point, and as of yet there's no consensus on this. He acts as though he's into women. On the other hand, he clearly believes that previously-straight people can be turned gay, either by accident or through being tricked, he makes a practice of meditating upon Sailor Moon in order to keep himself straight, and he drinks his own semen. Most likely, Chris is either a) a homophobic straight guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he's an idiot, b) a homophobic bi-curious guy who thinks people can be duped into straying from the straight path because he personally has homoerotic fantasies that he desperately tries to suppress, or c) too immature to have a real sexual preference, so he ends up overdoing his straightness. It's worth noting that a moderately common characteristic of autism is difficulty or inability to be intimate with another person.

Is he a furry?

While he has stated that he does not consider himself one, he does enjoy porn of anthropomorphic characters, and he draws his own. He also identifies with several anthropomorphic avatars. He may find it easier to draw and relate to cartoon characters over humans, but he has never identified as a furry and does not participate in the wider furfag community.

Is he a pedophile?

No, but people imply otherwise to troll him. One of the few kind things Mimms and Lucas said about Chris in a troll Q&A thread was that he probably wasn't a pedophile and that people are trying too hard with that. He has stated he would like to lower his state's legal age of consent to sixteen, but this is more likely due to a childish mindset and an inability to move past high school than latent pedophilia.

Is Chris a crossdresser? A transvestite? Does he want a sex change?

He is a transvestite in that he dresses in the clothing of the opposite gender, but he does not want to be mistaken for or referred to as a woman, placing him firmly in the cross-dresser category. He has been known to wear miniskirts, bras, and panties. On multiple occasions, he has worn female clothing in public. He calls himself a "tomgirl", and he somehow thinks this is attractive to potential sweethearts. This also means a sex change is extremely unlikely. However, Chris has mentioned that if he were ever to "become" homosexual, he would have a sex change. More recently, however, he seems to have reversed this stance.

Sonichu

What's the deal with Sonic, anyway?

He has always liked family-friendly games in particular, and many years ago, won a Sega contest that allowed him to stock up on Sonic titles. For some reason, the Sonic the Hedgehog series appears to have certain qualities that attract autistics more than other game series.

Where can I find the uncensored images from Sonichu #8?

Here, you sick fuck.

Will he do more Sonichu comics?

Chris hasn't written a Sonichu comic since February 2010 and is unlikely to ever do another one. He attributes his beloved creation's unceremonious end to his trolls and fans being too demanding and the comic not being fun to draw anymore, though the reason could just as easily be that he's lazy.

Contact Chris

I want to e-mail Chris and pretend to be Megan/Jimmy Hill/Jesus/Michael Snyder. Can I have his e-mail?

It's ChrisChanSonichu@aol.com, but Chris doesn't read e-mails from people he doesn't already know.

What are his dox?

Chris goes through his mail and supposedly filters out troll letters. His mother does likewise, though she sometimes reads the content but disregards it as something she already knows. If you think writing a handwritten letter (or doing something lulzy) to Chris or his mother will somehow force him to read it and convince Chris to change the errors of his ways, you are almost certainly out of luck. The same goes for Chris's phone. Most of the time they let it go to the answering machine since so many trolls call. Before his untimely demise, Bob would pick up the phone and keep track of who called for legal reasons. Chris will generally not answer his cellphone unless it's a number he recognizes or from a local area code.

But if you insist, you can find them here and here.

Miscellaneous

What does he smell like?

According to Emily, "rotten watermelons." According to Robert Simmons V, a variant of the homeless person stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of Axe. Point is, Chris smells awful.

What's the deal with Chris's eyes?

According to Chris, his eyes were originally blue but he got pink eye in his right eye during high school and medication for it turned it green. His eyes are only faintly different and definitely not to the degree that they're depicted in his comic form. A cursory examination of this image demonstrates that he has had heterochromia since at least elementary school. Additionally, it's fairly common for people with blue or green eyes to have one eye of a slightly different hue.

What's the deal with the striped shirts?

Many of Chris's shirts were bought by his mother from the Salvation Army and Goodwill. They've been rarely seen since Chris got into the habit of cross-dressing.

What's the deal with the yellow thing on the back of the medallion chain?

It's a Wilson wrist warmer he wears because the chain irritates his skin. — probably due to sensory defensiveness, a common trait in autism

Does Chris drink or do drugs?

Chris is firmly against smoking and drug abuse. He used to be against drinking as well, but a video of him drinking a salty-tasting Long Island Iced Tea turned up in 2009. He has also been known to drink Budweiser and Kahlúa.

What's this about Chris hating Harry Potter?

As Chris mentions here and here, Chris pretty much hated it since it was "competition" for Pokémon. However, he did own a PSone Harry Potter game, and his stance softened under Jackie's influence.

What's this about Jimmy Hill?

Jimmy Hill was a trolling effort run by the Something Awful Sycophant Squad (S.A.S.S.), but disintegrated in November 2008 at the same time the board collapsed. It was supposed to make Chris believe someone was stealing his Sonichu character, since possible theft of Sonichu seems to be one of the few things that gets him worked up into a fury. Chris stopped believing in Jimmy Hill some time after when he noticed the page never updated. This is one of very few recorded examples of Chris realizing that someone was a troll without them openly declaring it. Despite this, he still has a grudge against Jimmy Hill, leaving him in the final version of Sonichu #10 from December 2009.

Of note, Jimmy Hill passed the "rights" to Sonichu in Europe to the TRUE and HONEST Christian Weston Chandler.

Why does Chris call his welfare check a "monthly tugboat"?

Basically, it's a very weird contortion of the phrase "Our ship has come in," referring to a fortuitous event. Whereas winning the lottery is like a large cruise ship coming in, for Chris, getting $809 a month for sitting on his ass is like a small boat—like a tugboat—coming in for him.

Where does Chris currently publish new content?

His YouTube accounts have been inactive for a long time, and his original site and CWCipedia are dead. He does post new stuff on Facebook occasionally.

Where can I learn more about this guy?

Well, right here at this fine wiki, of course. If you really want to induct yourself into the horrors of Chris, I would recommend starting with where it began for most of us: the Megan Saga and the release of the e-mail correspondence between the two. Other resources include:

• The CWCki Forum the official forum of this fine wiki
• cwc imageboard
• #sonichu (IRC chat)
• Encyclopedia Dramatica (not quite as reliable)