CWC Update 18 January 2009

From CWCki
Revision as of 12:34, 28 August 2009 by Champthom (talk | contribs)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Chris-rage.gif

WARNING! This video features high levels of Tard Rage.


Captain's Log, Stardate January 18th, 2009 is a video in which Christian issues a scathing statement concerning hackers who used his email account to send messages to dozens of people saying Christian has come out of the closet. He denies this outrageous claim and proves his heterosexuality by stomping on the vibrator he has owned for years. He then shows a message taped to his foot featuring a crudely drawn nude female torso to hammer home his point. Internet scientists are hard at work in determining which anime he copied this stupid idea from.

Watch

Click to load content
“ You can kiss my foot! And you know what else else? ”

Transcript

January 18, 2009.
[Note: Chris presumably says "Captain's Log" right before this, but the first second of the video is corrupt.]

Uh, this is another brief update.

For those of you that have actu-- who have actually received them-- um… the e-mails that possibly came from my AOL account: troll-- another troll has-- hacked into my AOL account yesterday… and, uh, spammed the e-mails around. I had, uh, closed the account temporarily… and I am currently, uh, without the e-mail address.

So, therefore, uh… just-- just to rem-- just to let everybody in my fan base and on the Internet know: I'm sti-- I am straight! I am straight! And no troll-- no slanderous troll is gonna… alter me in such way!

I'm straight. Straight! Believe me!

I have a subscription to Playboy.

[sniffles]

And look into my-- and look in my eyes, in my face. I can't be more serious than how I am right now.

Those damn slanderous trolls!

Chris defends his sexuality.

Damn them all to hell.

[cut to Chris at a new angle]

And another thing, ya slanderous trolls:

[cut to sole of Chris's shoe]

You can kiss my foot!

And you know what else else?

[cut to Chris loudly slamming his foot down on top of his vibrator]

[grinds foot into vibrator until it slips loose, rolling out of the shot]

[turns foot to reveal a note that depicts a naked woman's torso and the message "CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT!!"]

And don't you forget it!

[nearly kicks camera over by sliding heel forward for an extreme close-up]

[cut back to Chris at original angle]

Uh, but the rest of y'all – the true, good citizens: peace, and have a good day.


v • d • e  
Captain's Log
Nov 2007
7
Aug 2008
3 • 6 • 8 • 15 • 28
Sept 2008
11 • 13 • 24
Oct 2008
9 • 13 • 21 • 27
Dec 2008
Jan 2009
6 • 8 • 12 • 15 • 16 • 18 • 21 • 26 • 30 • 31
Feb 2009
8 • 10 • 18
Mar 2009
4 • 10 • 18 • 26 • 27
Apr 2009
9 • 12 • 17 • 28 • 29
May 2009
3 • 22
July 2009
1 • 7 • 22 • 29
Aug 2009
3 • 12 • 13 • 16 • 18 • 20 • 22 • 30
Sept 2009
4 • 10 • 19 • 25 • 29
Oct 2009
9 • 10 • 15
Nov 2009
12 • 14
Dec 2009
3 • 9 • 12 • 20 • 25
Jan 2010
2 • 9 • 12 • 14 • 15 • 17 • 22 • 29
Feb 2010
1 • 5 • 9
Mar 2010
2
Apr 2010
May 2010
15 • 20 • 31
Aug 2010
Sept 2010
6 • 13
July 2016
April 2017
14 • 19 • 27 • 29
May 2017
1 • 3 • 5
June 2017
7 • 14 • 23
July 2017
7 • 14
August 2017
2 • 14
September 2017
4
October 2017
4 • 5 • 9 • 17
January 2018
April 2018
July 2021
9
Retrieved from "http://sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=CWC_Update_18_January_2009&oldid=26205"