CWC Update 4 March 2009
"CWC Update 4 March 2009" (officially "CWC Update 03042009") is a video in which Chris, visibly distraught after the outing of Julie, explains that he has been under a lot of stress lately. He tells his fans to not believe the trolls, and yet, they shouldn't believe him, since he's not wearing his medallion. (Spoilers: he shoved it up his ass.) Chris says that instead of the medallion, he will be wearing his high school ring from now on. He also revokes an earlier decree proclaiming BILLY MAYS to be the mayor of CWCville.
In an Epilogue (officially "ECV 00058"), Chris goes on to discuss Max Milvana blackmailing him into shoving his medallion up his ass.
Video
| “ | I am still the Mayor of Cwcville, Virginia; I'm recovering from a Sinus Infection/Virus; and I am tired of these Trolls constantly trying to control my life. Staying Strong and Straight, while in recovery, this is Chris Chan, reporting in. | ” |
| Official description | ||
| “ | I'm wearing my high school ring! | ” |
Transcript
Log’s date: March 2009.
[note: Chris is presumably saying "Captain's Log, Stardate: March 4, 2009", but the first three seconds of the video are corrupt]
[inhales deeply]
I have been under so much stress lately, and I've been suffering from a s—
[abrupt jump cut]
—like a bug. Y’know?
Anyway, uh… I have a couple of an—couple of… corrections to make. Do not believe anything that the, uh, trolls say or, uh, talk about. [starts to remove glasses dramatically] That's a… [dramatic glasses removal knocks headset off his ear] given. [headset falls to the ground] Oh, whoops.
[jump cut to the headset back on Chris’s ear]
That’s a given, right there. And, uh, you'll notice I'm not wearing my medallion. I've, uh, decided I'm setting a new trash—fashion trend. [shows "promise" ring] I'm wearing my high school ring! My high school ring in place of my medallion. It has all—it has the memories that have gone from medallion to medallion, believe me. So, my high school ring is forever from this point.
And, uh, also, I, Christian Weston Chandler, am still the mayor of CWCville… although rumors are flying a—have been flying around, I’ve noticed, about, uh, some guy named Billy Mays? I don't even know who the—that guy is!
So, anyway, I'm still the mayor of CWCville! Until I say—IN THE COMICS—or in a video—otherwise.
So, I leave y’all with all that while I still recover from my… virus.
Have a good day.
Epilogue
| “ | And he has, uh… made me… do certain things… | ” |
Transcript
[abrupt jump cut]
—on the Internet.
I wish to announce the na—the culprit who has, uh, ha—who has gotten into my, uh… Yahoo account, and took down the Sonichu and Rosechu site. His name is Max… Milvania. That's what he last told me. He may go by another name, but he neutrally goes by BlueSpike or LeonSpike.
[sighs] And he has, uh… made me… do certain things, like, uh… in order for me—in order to, uh, get my Yahoo! back. But he has… failed to, uh, give me back my Yahoo!… upon—after doing such things, uh, he asked me to, uh, cut up my medallion and shove it up my ass. He asked me to shove 'em up my dick, which I have not. And he's just a nuisance, a ba—a bad nuisance. Terrible.
If you s—if you s—if you come in contact with him… tell him to give me back my… Yahoo!. And also, somebody: please give him a cold virus for me. [coughs violently and sighs]
| ||||||||||||