CWC Update 4 March 2009
Chris, visibly and audibly seems torn after the outing of Julie, as he explains that he has been under a lot of stress. He tells his fans to not believe the trolls, and is not wearing his medallion, because it has been shoved up his ass (srsly). Chris says instead of the medallion, he will be wearing his high school ring, possibly ending the era of the Sonichu medallion as we know it. He also revokes an earlier decree proclaiming BILLY MAYS the mayor of Cwcville, BILLY is expected to contest this vigorously.
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Transcript
Log’s date: March 2009.
[Note: Chris is presumably saying "Captain's Log. Stardate: March 4, 2009", but the first three seconds of the video are corrupt.]
[inhales deeply]
I have been under so much stress lately, and I've been suffering from a s--
[jump cut]
--like a bug. Y’know?
Anyway, uh… I have a couple of an-- couple of… corrections to make. Do not believe anything that the, uh, trolls say or, uh, talk about. [starts to remove glasses dramatically] That's a… [dramatic glasses removal knocks headset off his ear] given. [headset falls to the ground] Oh, whoops.
[jump cut to the headset back on Chris’s ear]
That’s a given, right there. And, uh, you'll notice I'm not wearing my medallion. I've, uh, decided I'm setting a new trash-- fashion trend. [shows "promise" ring] I'm wearing my high school ring! My high school ring in place of my medallion. It has all-- it has the memories that have gone from medallion to medallion, believe me. So, my high school ring is forever from this point.
And, uh, also, I, Christian Weston Chandler, am still the mayor of Cwcville… although rumors are flying a-- have been flying around, I’ve noticed, about, uh, some guy named Billy Mays? I don't even know who the-- that guy is!
So, anyway, I'm still the mayor of Cwcville! Until I say-- IN THE COMICS - or in a video - otherwise.
So, I leave y’all with all that while I still recover from my… virus.
Have a good day.
Epilogue
Transcript
[footage immediately jump cuts to Christian in mid-sentence] --the internet.
I wish to announce the na--the culprit who has, uh, ha--who has gotten into my, uh, Yahoo account, and took down the Sonichu and Rosechu site. His name is Max Milvania--that's what he last told me. He may go by another name but neutrally goes by BlueSpike or LeonSpike.
[sighs] And he has, uh, made me do certain things, like, uh, in order for me--in order to get my Yahoo back, but he has failed to give me back my Yahoo, upon after doing such things. Uh, he asked me to, uh, cut up my medallion and shove it up my ass. He asked me to shove 'em up my dick, which I have not. And, he's just a nuisance, a ba--a bad nuisance--terrible.
If you, if you, if you come in contact with him, tell him to give me back my Yahoo, and also, somebody, please, give him a cold virus for me. [coughs violently, sighs]
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