30 August 2009

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"30 August 2009" (officially "08302009") is a video in which Christian Weston Chandler claims to have not received any boxes from the USPS or UPS. He then goes on to prove he's completely insane by taking on a second personality: Christopher.

In his answer to his fanmail, he related what everybody else knew; that the whole split personality was another attempt to "momentarily derail the trolls". Naturally, it didn't work. At least we get to see Chris punch himself in the face.

Video

30 August 2009
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Stardate 30 August 2009
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4 September 2009


Ian Brandon Anderson or Ian Anybody does not live here. Nobody by the name of Ian lives here.

Transcript

Captain's Log. Stardate: August 30th, 2009.

I just wish to uh, report that, uh, amongst the things that we have received, we have received no boxes, contrary to belief of one troll that has been-leaving messages about such. We have received no boxes, because we have advised the USPS and the UPS to stop sending them to us, and plus that Ian Brandon Anderson or Ian anybody does not live here. Nobody by the name of Ian lives here. So you may as give up and quit your stupid game.

Anyway, on another-on another note, there is a troll you should be condemned...

[Voice changes, he begins to talk into a high pitch] YOUR TROLL? HE'S AS MUCH MY TROLL AS HE IS YOUR TROLL!

You're right, Christopher, but yet, I'm uh, addressing him as my own.

AH, COME OFF IT, CHRISTIAN, YOU'RE ALWAYS BECOMING SO MUCH POPULAR, YOU ONLY MADE ME POPULAR BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT MY NAME UNTO THE SCENERY! [Removes his glasses and proceeds to poorly punch himself]

Christopher, calm down...

NO, YOU CALM DOWN, MAN! AT LEAST THE PSYCHIATRISTS ABLE TO DECIPHER THAT BOTH OF US ARE LIVING IN THE SAME BODY!

Come on, man, we've been friends before, you don't need to be doing this in front of the camera...

"COME ON" YOURSELF! I WANTED TO LET MY VOICE COME OUT IN THE NEIGHBOR EVER SINCE THE NAME CHANGE! I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD FOR A LONG TIME!

Yes, but at least the psychiatrists have allowed you to come back into the frontal being, even though it was like, a whole bunch of confusion during the time as well.

YEAH, THAT WAS LIKE YEARS AGO, WE SAW THIS PSYCHIATRIST.

Yep.

[Awkward silence, Chris looks away from the camera]

Anyway... [Eyes bulge and his voice returns to a high pitch] JUST CALL US CHRIS!

Bless the Fans, Curse the Trolls Chris's videos 4 September 2009