"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!!
"Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!! is a video released on 14 March 2010, in which Chris pleads to a gal-pal going by the pen name of Damian Antaria to not get a new boyfriend and take him instead, because his life is unhappy. After singing (poorly) a shortened version of his song "Boyfriend", he then asks Damian to "give him a break", and talks about his miserable life, and that without a girlfriend, he would need to pay $100 for a hooker.
Analysis
Chris repeatedly says "Please," because we all know that women love men who beg. His tone of voice, though, sounds more demanding than anything, conveying the impression that he feels he's entitled to have the object of his desire as his girlfriend. One of the many reasons that this attempt, as well as many others, failed is because he insults her boyfriend and then begs for sex, like any man with good intentions.
Chris also reveals that he still has no understanding of social interaction. He says that Damian had told him multiple times she wasn't ready for a boyfriend which suggests that he both constantly tried to ask her out, prompting her to have to say a thin excuse multiple times, and that he is socially inept enough that he did not realize she was making an excuse. There is also a distinct possibility that her new boyfriend is either a cover she created to get him to back off, or is in fact not her boyfriend and their friendship is being misconstrued by Chris.
Note the lack of medallion and the many uses of the Claw of Fail, looking as if he were menacing Damian. Also note that he seems to believe that Damian's new boyfriend is a troll, implying that he's starting to have flashbacks to Liquid, who is already married. Uncharacteristically, Chris recorded and uploaded this video in the mid-afternoon. Thanks to his peculiar day-night cycle, he usually delivers his YouTube rants late at night or in the very early morning.
An e-mail from Chris to Vivian Gee, leaked several months later, provides some background to this video. During the first couple of months of 2010, Chris was attempting to save up $100 out of his monthly budget to pay for sex with a prostitute on his 28th birthday (February 24). However, he evidently put that plan to one side, assuming that he would soon lose his virginity with the Wallflower for free, hence his remark about "a hundred dollars for a damn hooker."
Video
| "Damian Antaria", PLEASE, Don't Leave Me - I NEED YOU!!! | |
| Search for video | Youtube, archive |
| Stardate | 14 March 2010 |
| Subject Matter |  Gal Pals,  Sex
|
| Performance Style |  Tragedy,  Crazy
|
| Shirt |  Danger Stripe
|
| OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos | |
| previous Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! |
next Happy Sonichu Day |
Transcript
[Chris opens the video with a heavy sigh and removes his glasses. His expression is troubled and grim.]
This message goes out to Damian Antaria, her pen name. Not revealing her real name, all things considered. You know something? You don't, you don't need that new boyfriend, because... I need you. We were very compatible, we had so much in common! I don't see why you had to go and do that I mean, you aren't even ready for a boyfriend! You told me so yourself, multiple times! I respected that for a little while. [sigh] But, you know what? This puts to mind a little something...
[He bends down to pick something up off the floor, a remote control, and queues up the old CWC "Boyfriend" video on his TV.]
...I have put together before.
[He begins singing.]
Hey hey, you you
I don't like your boyfriend
No way, no way
I think you need a new one
Hey hey, you you
I could be your boyfriend
da na da, da na da
da da da, da da da
[He begins waving his hands around spastically, which continues through his performance.]
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
He's so trollin' stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'?
That old sumbah try to take you out of my life
But you know I could do it better
He's an impostor, he's a poser
What the hells were you thinkin' with that damn pickle suit?
[The singing mercifully ends.]
C'mon. Damian. Damian Antaria. Give me a break! You know my, I don't want to be back in a situation where I'm, that desperate I got...
[He holds up the claw.]
Go as far as to pay a hundred dollars for a damn hooker. Give me a breaaak!! I'm a 28-year-old high-functioning autistic virgin! I'm in a hell of my own! [sigh] C'mon, please? Pleeeeaaaase? I've been so very worried about you, I've had heartaches since last Wednesday. I've had sleepless nights! It really hurts!
[He clutches at his chest.]
Heartaches hurt. Think about that.
[He turns off the camera.]
Fan videos
| Chris Chan's American Idol Audition | |
| Stardate | 30 May 2010 |
| Made By | TheTubbyWhiteGuy |
| TRUE and HONEST Sonichu Fan Videos | |
| ⇐ Tito Got No Luck Against We Brits, Irish and Scots! | Chris's videos | Happy Sonichu Day ⇒ |
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