Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke

Chris's closing statement.

Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke (officialy 01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke) is a video uploaded by Chris in the early hours of 17 January 2010. After Chris finally changed his shirt, he decided to read every page of Asperchu and give a critique of Alec's comic. Surprisingly, it's not very favorable, and Chris spends almost ten minutes whining about all of the things he doesn't like about it, including a lot of stuff that Chris does in his own comic. He then threatens Mao, Alec, and Evan (but for some reason, not Sean) with the terrible might of his pastor (who disapproved of Vivian's book) and the FBI.

Chris also heavily implies that his dead dog is now some kind of evil spirit with the power to kill.

Video

01172010 - Asperchu is a Horrendous Joke
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Stardate	17 January 2010
Subject Matter	Fan Art
Performance Style	Rage
Saga	Asperchu Asperchu Saga
Shirt	The Napoleon
OFFICIAL and HONEST CWC Videos
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Description

Obvious C.W.C. Slanders/References: -BIG BELLY -Man Boobs -Goatee -Glasses -wears MY shirts -Patti-Clone -Unapproved Recreation of myself -SETS ME ON FIRE in Book C, Pages 29 and 30!!!

Graphic Nudity/Sexual Images: Book 0 Pages 3, 10, 13, 14, 18, Book A Pages 12, 13, 18, 19, 23, 29, Book B Pages 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, Book C Page 2

Homosexual References: Book 0 Pages 13, 14, 18, 20, 24, Book B Page 26, Book 1, Page 8, 9, 12, 14, 21

Non-Approved CWC/Sonichu Use/References: Book 0 Pages 19-24, Book B Pages 25-32, Book C and Book 1

Graphic Language: Book 0 Pages 3, 9, 12, 15, 17, 18, 24, Book A Pages 1, 7, 9, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, Book B Pages 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 20, 28, Book C Pages 2, 3, 7, 19, 33 and Book 1

Anti-Religious: Books A and B

Transcript

Patty will have your soul for dinner tonight

Captain's log, stardate January 17th 2010.

I am here at this point recording this video to make it perfectly clear. Although it was a bit of a mistake with that last video I made, but you know what? Regardless of that video, I did- I should not have had to make such a video. because I can prove- I can just show ya'll the evidence, [Chris grabs his camera and starts walking towards his tv] that I have just read through the entire bunch of pages, of the- of Alec's Asperchu. Unedited, all fresh from the website, organized by page number, in my playlist.

[The camera shoots downwards, a list passes by it momentarily, before Chris's TV comes into focus. There appear to be an array of comic pages on screen, set against a horrendously gay purple background.]

First off to name a few things, there's- there are the obvious... dirty slanders! [The cover of Asperchu 0 comes into focus on the TV] And obvious references to which I mean the old Buddha belly, that I used to have, exaggerated manboobs, and even the goatee I used to have- I had one time, and he makes them- and he makes his Asperchu character wear nearly every shirt I wear. Nearly every shirt! And a crappy copy of a medal! My shirts.

[The cover disappears, and Chris scrolls through the list of comics, finally picking a page in which a man is talking to a dog that really doesn't look anything like Patti.] And then to make matters worse, he goes and be...smirches my old- my dog! By making a crap- by making a crappy cop- crappy copy of my dog! My- Patti will- the spirit of Patti will have his soul for dinner tonight! she will be haunting your nightmares, Mr. Leary.

[Screen goes back to page selection, picking a page that has a picture of Asperchu's Take on Ian Brandon Anderson]

And of course, even including the unapproved recreation of my character, of my person, within his pages, as you can see right here. You can find all these on his Asperpedia. [screen returns to page select] that was issue C page 19 by the way.

He set me on fire!

And then even worse! Starting on page C29 [Chris selects the page with Metal Asperchu preventing Ian from shooting Asperchu], he set me on fire! He set me on fire! [Chris moves to the next page] and in even worse, he leaves me on fire on page 30! I swear, if that ain't the most outrageous thing that he has ever done against me.

[Back to page select] but I could get, I could definitely reference a few more instances of where he actually is considering peeing on himself within his own comic series. Starting of course with a few from his first book, of Graphic nudity or sexual reference! Of page three of his zero book. Even worse off, on page 10, while he's in a Burger King! With all his god-damned homosexual references as well!

[Chris shuffles through a variety of pages featuring the Asperchu date plot in book one. None of them contain any homosexual references. He then returns to the page select.] And he's done a whole number of them I could read you a list off of. You can find these is- find these nude images on pages, zero, book zero pages 3 10 13 14 18 and book A 12 13 18 19 23 29. Book B 1 4 5 6 7 8 11 12 13 15 18 20 22 24 AND book C page 2! They put in so many, they put in so many homosexual references between book zero, B and one.

And he uses Uncensored Swear words! Such as [Camera swings back to Chris] shit, and ass! In between all- in between all- his books! So many god-damned of those. And his A and B books, are anti-religious! Anti-religious! In those two books! That little son of a bitch, he's basically peeing on his own self.

Now look, I'll admit I have done my little share of nudity within the comi- within my- within a few pages- within a couple of pages, but they were censored by either images of lemon for vagina, or bananas for dicks. [Chris scratches the back of his head] And it was f-and da and da and that book was finally finalized and organized so that it be 'propriate for all for all those of ages, TV Y7...and such. And I and if I ever said a swear word within my book, I would censor it, but [voice cracks] but he does not censor his own swear words.

But like I said [Chris reaches down for his script] he's basically gone to the things aga-he's basically mocking me with the references of myself. Between my between the b-between the belly, the manboobs, the goatee and glasses, numerous shirts, a fake medal, wearing-h'yeah-a c'a-copy of MY DOG, an unapproved recreation of myself and my Son-and my characters, and even SETS ME ON FIRE [Chris starts wandering around the room, keeping the camera on his face] and makes my and makes what is makes his w-and makes HIS quote-unquote Sonichu clone go against me as being as not being the original creator of the original Sonichu. Now, s-the original Sonichu of that thing can be caught in the wild, so therefore afar as far as I'm concerned, that's just ano-that's just another one he caught from the wild, and drew hisself a clone basically. Just another individual, aside from aside from the original Sonichu that only lives in CWCville.

And also, in reference to the un-not 'proved use within book number zero on pages 19 through 24, including-including-the homosetsual references, he supposedly thinks there's a, that, he supposedly thinks that there's this law change in CWCville at it is wrong for him to quote CWCville at all within his book. And no such changes, as he has said, has happened within CWCville. [Stops and grabs camera vigorously with both hands and looks directly into it] He wishes he knows my Sonichu, Rosechu, and all my electric hedgehogs as well as I do, but he can not, because he is not me, the original creator. [Resumes wandering around the room] HE IS NOT ME.

So uh I am send this message again to Alec, Evan, and even Mao--I have less offense with Sean by the way--but to those three...

[Chris flips off the camera and gives a two-and-a-half-second raspberry]

DIE. DIE IN HELL. And I hope the soul of my late dog eats at your souls and kills you in your sleep.

[Gives a creepy uncomfortable stare at the camera as he slowly switches the hand holding it]

But aside from that, his book his book is the pages within the so-called Asperchu...series? [scratches the back of his head, pauses to look up at the ceiling for a moment] They are definitely ludicrous and horrendous and horrific. [starts moving around again, picks up a book, then wanders some more] Even a horrific s-even as horrific as within Vivian Gee's own book. And my pastor rissala-Elizabeth Hoss, my pastor has read the book from cover to cover, and she HATES it. Sh-my reverend hates it. And I don't like it either because it is of disgrace, and slander, and mockery of my person and my character. Just about as much, but ak-choo-lee this [points to the TV] is worse. The Asperchu and everything there, that is worse than that book. I'm sorry Vivian, but that book is just no good. And I'm definitely gonna let my Elizab-let my pastor know about the Asperpedia and the Asperchu and tru all the pow-through her powers within her church and the congregation and even the F-B-I, we will see you in Minnesota, and take you down personally, Mister ALEC BASON LARRY!

[pause, head scratch] We get the FBI on our side. [long pause] Your mockery of my person is not appreciated!

Udder'n dat, I leave with most everybody else in peace. Have a good day. Except for you three of which I mentioned earlier.

See Also

• Asperchu

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Chris's videos

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