For My Sweetest Ivy

Summary

On 1 May 2009, Chris sends a message to Ivy promising smoothies, Gilligan's Island, Family Guy, masses of porn-based sex, Guitar Hero, a romantic walk through the mall and many places with "green and sunlight" for the hermit crabs.

Video

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Transcript

Hey Ivy, I'm doing this video for you. Oh we are gonna have so much fun together when you and I are together. hmmm. You know, my mommy and I, my family and I will meet you at the airport. And you know your choice so, take you to your hotel or bring you back to my house, hmmm. I mean er, you know, we'd be hanging round so much and sharing such fondful memories.

I know a few good places in Charlottesville, I think its, you know, I take you there we'll get some good things to eat and hang out. Huh so much fun. We'll uh have a good time together, you know. I know a place that does some great smoothies, so yeah, a cafe, in Charlottesville, a good place, does good smoothies.

And you know we can enjoy a movie in the theatre, at home or watch a television rerun. FAMILY GUY, heh, Family Guy. Or uh I love Lucy or I got the entire series of Gilligan's Island, hmmm. HUHWHO, heh heh. Hmmm and we can make some music together on Guitar Hero. Hmmm. Well you can sing, I gotta microphone, I'm thinking about getting drums. *makes a drum roll sound.*

Hmmm, yeah. And you know I will see, you, I will look forward to the eventuality of you and I having our sex time together. Hmmm, I'll do you so many, I'll do my best to pleasure you to keep you satisfied, satisfied, just for you. Just for you, hmmm. I know a number of good positions and massages, hmmm, hmmm. And you know I know a number of places we could walk around at and uh we could walk about the mall, we could walk about the UVA grounds, good places where there's plenty of green and sunlight.

Hmmm and wah, we can walk the hermit crabs together, hmmm, walk about, you might like your, you might walk your hermit crabs, hmmmm. Hmmmm, hmmmm, you know wonderful memories, wonderful memories, we're gonna have lots of fun. I'll do my, I'll do my best to keep you entertained, show you a good time, when we're having a good time, and I promise I will remain your good boy forever and always and to get uh, my friends up in talking to uh in between in real, on the internet, real friends, they can vouch for me on how good a boy I have been. Been a good boy just for you Ivy. I love you so much, I love you so much, hmmmm. Hmmm, look at me smile, look at me smile, it's a nice smile. I love you Ivy. I love you so much. I ran out of details, *laughs.* I don't know I guess I'll sing you a song.

• sings in Dick Van Dyke style* - It's a jolly holiday with Ivy, Ivy makes mah heart so light when the skies are grey and ordinary, Ivy makes the sun shine bright. Oh Happiness is blooming all around her, the daffodils are smiling at the doves, when Ivy holds my hand I feel so grand, my 'eart starts beating like a big brass band. *hits his head with the PS3 remote* It's a jolly holiday with Ivy, no wonder that it's Ivy that I love.

Hmmm, you know something else, I should have uh, thought about doing this before, you know, to feel more positive, highlight for anybody who uh, goes back on information I should uh recreate something for MySpace or uh Facebook with all the problems and highlights and true details that would not uh, be uh out twisted in any erroneous way I'll work on that. I will work on that. It's the honest truth from my head, from my head. I love you so much Ivy, I love you. Hmmmmwah *blows a kiss to the camera.* Talk to you later sweetheart. And also to your father policeman, I salute him with my cubscout salute that I have favoured for so long.