Chris Comes Out of the Closet

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Threatening Julie with harm, Clyde Cash demanded that Chris come out of the closet on YouTube in exchange for her safety. Ambivalent about how to handle the situation, Chris posts a video in which he filibusters for nearly three minutes and finally declares himself to be a "Gaybian".

This didn't satisfy Cash, and so Chris went back and made another video shortly afterward, this time saying the all-important words "I'm gay".

While the Gaybian Ruse failed, Chris was still able to slip in "subtle" hints that he was less than sincere about his confession. Viewers familiar with Chris's YouTube videos will notice that he is not wearing his Medallion, and he is holding his Optimus Prime toy throughout both recordings. Conspicuously, a Sailor Moon Poster is also present in the background. Also, Chris states that he's being forced to come out the the closet, which is a surreptitious way of communicating that he is being forced to come out of the closet.

Chris would later disavow these videos on the following day, confirming that the medallion, Optimus Prime, and Sailor Moon posters were indeed clues that he was not, in fact, gay. This would seem to put his agreement with Clyde in abeyance, but Julie has apparently been unharmed ever since.

Notable in both of these videos is how averse Christian is to even saying the word "gay," even when he isn't using the word to describe himself.

Take 1

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Transcript

’Ello.

Y’know, the word… "gaaay"… tends to be thrown around a lot. Especially when, uh, one's words… is, uh, heavily… understood one way… or understood another way. It can mean so much. But when it comes to-- uh, in the end… it can make a lot of difference.

I, uh, personally… respect… the, uh… gay population. And, uh… I applaurd them because… they come out the closets with their own emotions and feelings and whatnot. And sometimes, even us… brave heroes… need to come out the closet, as well. I have come out of my… emotional… prohibited shell… that has prohib-- has prohibited me from, uh… expressing my emotions… in an understood, wise choice of words. But… I have learned… to come out… [inhales sharply] and express them in a good term, as well.

But-- and especially when… it can come from the h-- especially when the emotions come from the heart, and the body language, it just depends on, uh, how it is understood from that point or another.

But, uh, I'll cut to a chase. I respect my fellow man… and, uh… I w-- and I… have some feelings for the man, as well. But, uh… yeah, in a nutshell… I have to come out of the closet. And so, one closet… (God, please help me)… that I fe-- that I am forced-- forced to come out of…

Uh… simply put-- and I am willing to say this… in sound mind and body: I… am a gaybian.

Yep. You heard me. I am… a gaaaaaaaaay… bian.

A male lesbian.

Thank you.

Take 2

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Transcript

Good evening.

You know, the, uh, word "gay", and terms like "coming out of the closet"...uh, get thrown around a lot.

[Long pause. Chris shakes his head in disgust]

Anyway, uh, and als--and also, uh, some of have to be--feel like we're being forced to supposedly come out of the closet. And also, uh, some of--som--also sometimes the, uh, actual words like, uh, I myself, actual words that I have used become misinterpreted...and, uh, can be very infuriating...when, uh, people misinterpret, uh, things into slanderous, uh, misunderstandings [deep breath] Mmmmm.

But, yeah, uh, I want to get to a point here, get to the point. Uhhh...I have--so, like, I'm being forced to, uh...come out of a closet, even though I already came out of one closet, emotionally, where I have learned to, uh, put my emotions into a good...sound assortment of words, and, uh, ho-and honest input. And it s--and s--and even though it really pains me a lot...to...to say such th--to say some things.

Anyway the, uh--anyway so, to get to the point...fine. I'm guhh. I'm gaaaay. I'm gaay. I said it.

I said it. So there.

I said it.

Yep.

I'm gaaaayy.

OK. Yep. So...did I really come out of the closet there? That just depends on y'all--how y'all understand it.

Peace.