Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009

"Captain's Log, Stardate January 15th, 2009" (officially ' CWC's Denouncement of the E.D. "Chris Chan" Webpage ').

Possibly under pressure from Shigeru Miyamoto and Reggie Fils-Aimé, Christian uploads this video to deny his page on Encyclopedia Dramatica as officially as possible. He also forbids everyone from looking at it.

Video

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“

I curse y'all to bad luck and extreme misfortune.

”

Transcript

Hello. I record this message in res—in response to the Encyclopedia Dramatica page that has been against me… since November a couple of years ago.

[inhales deeply] I here—I am hereby makin’ it official and makin’ a statement that… every detail—the majority of the d—the midority—to every single detail… on that heinous page against me… is all a pack of lies. A bunch of slanders. Twists of my own… actual words and drawings and such… for the—for the trolls... slash... Internet bullies' own evil purposes.

To actually—to actually best understand me…—I am a good person. I'm a good person. I'm good-natured. But I will… show my faaannngggsss… when I have to. Only when I have to. And I'm showin' my fangs right now against that page.

Especially when… I can—and they can be easily proven… from among every single gal pal… and acquaintance I've ever… had in my life in person… or a few over the—or some over the Internet who were tru—who were actually… who w—who they were. The true, loyal people on the Internet… who do not lie. [stifles a burp and exhales loudly]

And that includes my sweetheart, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie… [inhales deeply] and all the women on the Sonichu Girls forum… and everyone—and, uh, in real life, the people in my… church's congregation, including my, uh, pastor… and my pastoral conselor—counselor, who I see on a weekly basis just to, uh… talk and shoot some ch—just, uh… talk and let stress out… with, uh… with an open ear and an open heart and open understanding. And I appreciate that, because it makes me feel better understood… just like the girls on the Son—on the Sonichu Girls forum… have ma—have… proven themselves to be true because… they actually understand me and my—what I—what I mean… in my honest words… without any of these slanderous twists and turns those evil trolls… have done and put… on that slanderous page on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

So, I'm making it official: nobody will be allowed… forever—able to use anything on that page—that Encyclopedia Dramatica page—with the name “Chris-chan” or some—or something similar, along the lines of—running to “Christian Weston Chandler” or “Christopher Weston Chandler”, or even “Christopher Christian Weston Chandler” or “Christian Christopher Weston Chandler”. Among those names.

Because I am making it official: I DENOUNCE… everything on that page… and I advise… nobody… to even think… about… clicking on the link, even though it appears, in a Google search.

I DENOUNCE… everything… on that Encyclopedia Dramatica page, and everything else… on the whole Encyclopedia Dramatica website.

And also… to throw a little—at the risk of throwing wood into the fire… I will off—I give… that website and everybody—every single troll who has contributed to that page and the website, to go against not only me, but all the innocent victims they have pro—they have portrayed against… including the, uh, worst troll of them all… 4chan… I curse y'all to bad luck and extreme misfortune. Shin-ye-ha-me-HA!

Peace.

⇐ I am STRAIGHT

Chris's videos

CWC Update 18 January 2009 ⇒