Difference between revisions of "Attraction Sign"
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[[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]] | [[Image:FailSign.jpg|thumb|Another artist's impression of how the attraction sign worked.]] | ||
[[Chris]] used an ''' | [[Chris]] has used an '''Attraction Sign''' during his [[Love Quest]] to get the attention of [[boyfriend-free girl]]s. Surprisingly, the sight of a [[Chris and health|fat, sweaty, smelly]] manchild soliciting with something called an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on ladies. | ||
==Attraction Sign, Mark 1== | ==Attraction Sign, Mark 1== | ||
The original attraction sign, created when Chris first started his | The original attraction sign, created in [[2003]] when Chris first started his Love Quest at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and [[ED|lulzy]] of them all. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
[[Image:511-JumboLoveQuestSign.JPG|thumb|The original Attraction Sign]] | [[Image:511-JumboLoveQuestSign.JPG|thumb|The original Attraction Sign]] | ||
:''21 and Single White Male...'' | :''21 and Single White Male...'' | ||
:''-Shy -[[Honor roll|Smart]] -[[ | :''-Shy -[[Honor roll|Smart]] -[[Pedofork|Young at Heart]] -[[CADD|Computer skilled]]'' | ||
:''-[[Random access humor|Humorous]] -A great [[Things Chris has ripped off|thinker]] and [[Monthly tugboat|go-getter]] -[[Cutco|"Natural salesperson"]] -Enjoys [[China|good parts of life]]'' | :''-[[Random access humor|Humorous]] -A great [[Things Chris has ripped off|thinker]] and [[Monthly tugboat|go-getter]] -[[Cutco|"Natural salesperson"]] -Enjoys [[China|good parts of life]]'' | ||
:''-[[Death threats|Diplomatic]] -[[White_knight#Chris_made_himself_an_outcast|Friendly]] -Loves [[Cole Smithey|his family]] -[[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] -[[Chris and | :''-[[Death threats|Diplomatic]] -[[White_knight#Chris_made_himself_an_outcast|Friendly]] -Loves [[Cole Smithey|his family]] -[[Chris and anger|Peaceful]] -[[Chris and copyright|Very creative]] -_[[Virgin with rage|He's lonely]]_'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''...Seeking a CUTE <sup>♀</sup>18-21 [[Boyfriend- | :''...Seeking a CUTE <sup>♀</sup>18-21 [[Boyfriend-free girl|SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION]]'' | ||
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>18-21 years of age <nowiki>*</nowiki>does _not_ already have a boyfriend <nowiki>*</nowiki>Single'' | :''<nowiki>*</nowiki>18-21 years of age <nowiki>*</nowiki>does _not_ already have a boyfriend <nowiki>*</nowiki>Single'' | ||
:''-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -[[Chris and race|White]] -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area'' | :''-[[Obesity|Average to Slender Weight/Body Type]] -[[Chris and race|White]] -Lives in [[Charlottesville|Charolettesville]] or [[Ruckersville]] area'' | ||
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki> | :''<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[Tobacky|Does NOT Smoke]] or Drink [[Alcohol]] -Happy, Positive Personality'' | ||
:''<nowiki>*</nowiki>Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle'' | :''<nowiki>*</nowiki>[[Chris and money|Average/High Income]] -[[Son-Chu|Drives a vehicle]]'' | ||
[image of Sonichu's face]<sub>©</sub> <font color="red" size="+3">➨</font> | [image of [[Sonichu]]'s face]<sub>[[Chris and copyright|©]]</sub> <font color="red" size="+3">➨</font> | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...'' | :''If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...'' | ||
| Line 26: | Line 26: | ||
:''Have a nice day ☺'' | :''Have a nice day ☺'' | ||
==The Attraction Sign, | ==The Attraction Sign, through the ages== | ||
One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating | One reason for the multiple signs is that [[Mary Lee Walsh]] kept [[Piedmont Virginia Community College#Kicked Out of College|confiscating]] them. Chris waged war by creating [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]] accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#Enter the Wicked Witch of the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens]]</ref> | ||
<center><gallery> | <center><gallery> | ||
Image:137-NDSAttractop.jpg|Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a Nintendo DS. | Image:137-NDSAttractop.jpg|Sign from age 22. Based on its shape, it is likely meant to be attached to the cover of a [[Nintendo]] DS. | ||
Image:135-LoveSearchBookCover.jpg|Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls. | Image:135-LoveSearchBookCover.jpg|Cover of a pamphlet on attracting girls. | ||
Image:133-Sign.jpg|Sign from age 23. | Image:133-Sign.jpg|Sign from age 23. | ||
Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign. | Image:136-LoveSearchItems.jpg|Miscellaneous paraphernalia used in conjunction with the Attraction Sign. | ||
Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] card. | Image:108-PlanForAttraction.jpg|Plan B: Use a ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' card. | ||
</gallery></center> | </gallery></center> | ||
It is also known that, after the loss of his | It is also known that, after the loss of his Sign at [[Charlottesville Fashion Square]], he resorted to [[Wikipedia:Post-it note|Post-It Notes]] stuck to [[Pedo-Glasses|his glasses]] and walking uncomfortably close to girls. This did not last long either. | ||
==Good night, sweet prince== | ==Good night, sweet prince== | ||
Sadly, the Attraction Sign | Sadly, the Attraction Sign is no more. | ||
{{quote|During all this, I learned from | {{quote|During all this, I learned from [[Barbara Chandler|my mother]] that the sign made me look [[slow in the mind|retarded]], and eventually, I did away with the sign.|Chris<ref>[[User:ChrisChanSonichu profile#The Continuing, Enduring Search]]</ref>}} | ||
== | ==Retry of Attraction Sign== | ||
By [[ | By [[June 2010]], Chris devolved to wearing a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing his [[Muscle bra|bra]] saying "Want Woman!" over [[Obesity|his flabby gut]], thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.<ref>[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> While less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to women what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous [[Monthly tugboat|sense]] [[GodJesus|of]] [[Chris and his Ego|entitlement]] and that he never understood why the sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it. | ||
A few weeks later, on July | A few weeks later, on 4 [[July 2010]], Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several trolls to assume Chris was beginning to turn into a caveman. | ||
Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] | Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at [[Fridays After Five]] again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that he shouldn't show children his sports bra. Hilarity can be expected to ensue if this behavior continues. | ||
On July | On 16 [[July 2010]], Chris again terrorized the poor women of [[Charlottesville]] at the [[Fridays After Five]] gathering, with a new sign that read "[[Homos|Friendly and Flirty Man Zone]]".<ref>[[Fridays After Five]]</ref> He also employed a portable mini fan and a [[Wikipedia:Hula hoop|hula hoop]], in what [[trolls|experts]] believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. '''Spoiler Alert:''' [[fail|It didn't work]]. | ||
==Sauces== | ==Sauces== | ||
| Line 63: | Line 63: | ||
* [[Red String of Fate]] | * [[Red String of Fate]] | ||
==Sauces== | |||
<references/> | |||
{{Relics of Fail}} | {{Relics of Fail}} | ||
[[Category:Relics of Fail]][[Category:Arts and Crafts]] | [[Category:Relics of Fail]][[Category:Arts and Crafts]] | ||
Revision as of 22:07, 25 January 2011
| “ | The Only Reasonable and Inexpensive Idea he [Chris] could ever fucking think of | ” |
| Chris, on his own ED page, 10 November 2007 edit[1] | ||
Chris has used an Attraction Sign during his Love Quest to get the attention of boyfriend-free girls. Surprisingly, the sight of a fat, sweaty, smelly manchild soliciting with something called an Attraction Sign actually had the opposite effect on ladies.
Attraction Sign, Mark 1
The original attraction sign, created in 2003 when Chris first started his Love Quest at the age of 21, is perhaps the most notable and lulzy of them all.
- 21 and Single White Male...
- -Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled
- -Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life
- -Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -_He's lonely_
- ...Seeking a CUTE ♀18-21 SINGLE FEMALE COMPANION
- *18-21 years of age *does _not_ already have a boyfriend *Single
- -Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area
- *Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality
- *Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle
- If any ♂MEN♂ read this huge sign...
- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
- (And to all MEN with girlfriends, except marrieds and blacks, go jump off a cliff)
- Have a nice day ☺
The Attraction Sign, through the ages
One reason for the multiple signs is that Mary Lee Walsh kept confiscating them. Chris waged war by creating MySpace and Facebook accounts, then printing new signs and spamming them all over campus.[2]
It is also known that, after the loss of his Sign at Charlottesville Fashion Square, he resorted to Post-It Notes stuck to his glasses and walking uncomfortably close to girls. This did not last long either.
Good night, sweet prince
Sadly, the Attraction Sign is no more.
| “ | During all this, I learned from my mother that the sign made me look retarded, and eventually, I did away with the sign. | ” |
| Chris[3] | ||
Retry of Attraction Sign
By June 2010, Chris devolved to wearing a shirt saying "I Enjoy Vagina" and exposing his bra saying "Want Woman!" over his flabby gut, thus showing that he's not even trying anymore.[4] While less pleasant and more direct than the Attraction Signs, his reasoning for each seems to be the same: if he just reveals to women what he wants via literal, verbal language, any of them will want to give it to him regardless of how bizarre, off-putting, and out of touch with their wants and needs that revelation is. This lends even further credence to his ridiculous sense of entitlement and that he never understood why the sign made him look like a retard in the first place and he hasn't grown, matured, or learned anything since he stopped using it.
A few weeks later, on 4 July 2010, Chris attempted to attract a woman at a local fireworks celebration by wrapping a note around a small rock and throwing it at her. Combined with the earlier "Want Woman!" tactic, this caused several trolls to assume Chris was beginning to turn into a caveman.
Later that same week, Chris was spotted and photographed twice at Fridays After Five again. In both photographs, he is shown to have placed a small piece of paper between his legs. Exactly what he wrote on it is unknown, but it is reasonable to assume that Chris has reverted to the Attraction Sign once more, likely because someone told him that he shouldn't show children his sports bra. Hilarity can be expected to ensue if this behavior continues.
On 16 July 2010, Chris again terrorized the poor women of Charlottesville at the Fridays After Five gathering, with a new sign that read "Friendly and Flirty Man Zone".[5] He also employed a portable mini fan and a hula hoop, in what experts believe is probably a desperate attempt to make himself look fun and cool. Spoiler Alert: It didn't work.
Sauces
See also
Sauces
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