SHE IS MINE NOW

"I will kick your asses. Because I'm crazy."

SHE IS MINE NOW (officially 10292009 - Re to Chris No 2 - SHE IS MINE NOW) is another call out to the real Chris from Ian Brandon Anderson, uploaded on 28 October 2009. In it, he raps again and declares that Kacey is his and that Liquid lost her.

Ian plays a wide array of Aerosmith tracks in the background, undoubtedly in an attempt to seem rebellious and dangerous. He shuffles back and forth throughout the video and seems to have aged considerably since yesterday. He also finally changed his shirt.

He also does his Donald Duck impression... that or another rage attack. Who knows?

It is also important to note that Ian seems to be sweating a fair amount in this video and can be seen wiping sweat from his brow. The sweating appears to become more profuse towards the end of the video compared to the somewhat dry start, go ahead and watch.

Original video from the real Chris

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Ian's video

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Transcript

Yo! MC Chris! I'm gonna rap it to ya, man! Listen up!

[Ian begins "rapping" while "Walk This Way" by nonthreatening classic rockers Aerosmith plays in the background]
I take yo video yous a lame ass
You done copyin' this and that
I'm gonna screw you, I'm gonna take you to town
Who do you think you are, Eric Cartman?
[Ian does terrible Eric Cartman impression] Screw you guys, I'm going home!
You had all with the sweet little girl
And yet you break your promise!
You done turn your back on her and turn to the trolls!
You just a dang dummy!
And you still chicken you's a dang coward!
If you wanna come fight me
Come fight me in person
Come out from behind the camera you fool
I'll fight you any day!
Poop-pow! [flails arms in an obscene mockery of punching]
And I'm gonna just plain kick yo ass!
From-looking-at-your-body-type you's a total width and shorter than me!
I'm a good five foot ten, what are you, like a four foots eight?
I tell you something right now
That ain't gonna let you laid,
Yet you had it once with her and let it down
You's a big ol' dang... stupid lame-ass clown.
Because you know you had all the blessings
She was smart she was sweet she was riwwyvery fun!
And I'll tell ya what she did...
You.. she done left you boy!
You lost her! You treated her like a dang ragdoll!
Dang ragdoll...
And she ain't no ragdoll, she's a caring human being!
And you is- and you is a dang fool for mistreating her like you did.
And I love her for- I love her for so much more than that.
And you so... And you threw it all away, man.
She left you and now she's with me.

[Changes track to Aerosmith's "Dream On"] So at this point, you could just... [Turns back and fast forwards through the intro to the song, pauses awkwardly to wipe sweat] So at this point man. I'll tell you what you could do, because all your notions you had with lovely, sweet Kacey. This point, you could just... DREAM ON. Cause you know I be share [Changes track to Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion".]

[In an ear-splitting high pitched whine, while holding up the Claw of Failure] SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET EMOTION. You didn't share no sweet emotion. You just done played her for a fool. And I don't care- and I don't take to fools like that. [whispers: Please don't. I swear.] And by the way you know what? I don't care about bein' a virgin because you know what? She and me are gonna be like LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR! LOVIN' IT UP IN AN ELEVATOR! I mean I tell ya. I tell ya what, man. She done leave you- she done left yous man. She come- she come towards me. Because she's beyond beautiful.

[Changes track to "Beyond Beautiful" from the Aerosmith Track Pack and then sings mumbles along, badly] She loves me now, she loves you not! Listen to that! Rittleol' Aerosmith! She's beyond beautiful, and she's beyond... brilliant. She is so kind. She cares about a lot. She cared about you, too. But you done turned her down, man. You lost her. So face facts man. She's with me Mac- she is with me now. You're yesterday's news. Just like the- just like the boat that the Mythbusters made out of newspaper and ice. Yesterday's news. Good show by the way, I learned from it. So you can just move on, Buster Brown! 'Cause Mama Brown ain't gonna take that no more!

Yeah.. and I will kick your asses. I'm crazy! [Gibbers violently at the camera. Pauses, then does a more effete version of gibbering at the camera]

C'mon! You come fight me in person, and I'll kick your ass! Come on!

...have a good day. Anse- when you- meet me in person.

MC CWC responds

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Ian's comments on Chris's Response.

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“

Then I'm gonna turn you into a murder statistic, Because, Bitch I'm High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic

”

Transcript

Kacey, you understand, this… this Ian, this… you do not want anything to have to do with him. I will win you back! I promise! And another thing, I am gonna show you who is the real, who is the real better, talented CWC, in order to, in order to get you back! Cuz I will have you back, bay-bee! I miss you!

Here he is MC – the MC CWC, throwin’ down his favorite rhymes y’all! Yeah, okay.

Kacey doesn’t love you – it’s true!

I checked her email this Tuesday at seven-oh-two

She has more apprehension than someone like you

Having his semen, and drinking it too

In orange Fanta, chocolate syrup, you just can’t refuse

Mothafuckas online think that it cannot be true

But you prove them wrong, bottoms-up is yo motto

So it slides down yo throat, like a melty gelato

Wearin’ that bathrobe, like greener than avocado

Mashed up in a bathtub, infested with live mold

Your shower got a problem with that, so I been told

In fact I’ve seen it – you’re twenty-seven years old!

You get naked on camera and dance around like ten-fold

Fuck you, nigga – you makin’ my head explode

You know, with the stop-this and the stop-that

And the expose of your ass-crack

On the camera, it was so wack

Look like Jack Black, on your last track

Mothafucka, I’ve never tried kickin’ an ass this hard

But I’mmabout to chew up and spit y’all out one million yards

I’ll take yo picture and send it to yo bodyguard

Now everybody yeah, sing along

Now everybody drawin’ the comic pages for ages

The sages of rage, and the age of contagion’s voracious

And pages, like the mothafuckin plague is

Upon a plantation and faces just can’t explain this

Sorry – didn’t understand that?

Understand my ass-crack!

I’m back in black – and so’s my battery

Runs on AC/DC,

You don’t deserve to listen to a band so legendary,

Get the FUCK off of Kacey,

Blaze me? You’re pasty!

You can’t stop me, or block me, or amaze me.

You won’t even come to the rescue, ‘cuz you’re lazy!

It doesn’t phase me that you’re crazy,

‘Cuz if I see you try to contain me,

Then when I kick your ass, and salt and shake thee,

I’m gonna rip off

Your four-inch

Deformed dick

Shove it up your ass

Like a certain

Medallion

Then I’m gonna turn you into

A murder

Statistic

Because, bitch,

I’m High-Fucking-Functioning-Autistic.

Out!

Yeah. M’kay. Yeah yeah, yeah, m’kay, yeah you listen to that and you take in the words from that.

Peace, and have a good day.

See also

• My Half of A Whole New World for Kacey